Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
STILL in Love with his ex of over three years ago!
September 3, 2006
5:17 am
Avatar
cloud nine
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

strong

i want daughter to have relationship with her dad and half brother . His current girlfriend was a friend of mine , he cheated on me when we were together. I asked her to look after my daughter, while i was at art college they both betrayed me .that was 6-7 years ago. Im over it , left 4 years ago...

daughter usually enjoys going there , every other weekend....
she loves her dad and half brother.
recently she seems more anxious and feel sick at night.

me and her dad dont talk now since he says that the reason is that daughter is sick is that she is codependent.

i dont know what he means .

i want my daughter to be well and happy.

iim reading codepedent no more.
im confused,

am i also codependent?

thanks strong

September 3, 2006
9:30 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

cloud -

There could be MANY reasons why your daughter seems more "nervous" and "sick at night." I would try talking with her. DEFINITELY question her about the visits to her father. Find out what he is saying to her. Words can devastate us. Do some detective work, OK? You might consider getting her into some pediatric therapy, also, to find out what might be going wrong in her world.

- Strong

P.S. I don't believe the child is "codependent." But if he is putting her down, verbally

September 3, 2006
9:31 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

oops -

But if her father is putting her down, verbally, or trying to project some imaginary blame onto you, then you are going to have to protect her from him...and protect yourself, as well.

He sounds treacherous.

- Strong

September 3, 2006
5:25 pm
Avatar
cloud nine
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

strong

thanks for your words, yes not sure why she is so anxious at night, need lots of reassurance...cammomile tea etc, GP told me there was nothing wrong with her , puberty, school starts again, that kind of thing

we had nice day today , went for big lunch with friend and his daughter.

nice day.

but now she has a headache .:-(

September 4, 2006
3:45 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

cloud -

Your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong. KEEP DIGGING.

= Strong

September 4, 2006
6:39 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Hi Strong

Did you read my post about how he got slashed in the face in an unprovoked attack on Saturday night? I did want to nurse him yet when he refused to go to the hospital I left. He wanted to come to my place which I told him "No". We are friends now perhaps so I told him I will not sleep with him or be around him when he is drinking.

He called twice yesterday and just now today, and I refused to see him and reiterated my position since he is still drinking.

Spent 6 hours emptying out my kitchen since the contractors are coming this week with a huge bin to put the old kitchen and two bathrooms in to dispose of. It was a good distraction, yet still missing the sober companionship.

I will be and am Strong like you. Many thanks for your example.

September 4, 2006
8:54 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Little -

It is good that you did not go to the hospital. Step back and STAY back. He is trying to manipulate you back into the codependent position of worrying about him and "fixing" him. And he is NOT your responsibility.

Stand strong.

September 4, 2006
9:55 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Thanks for the encouragement. Each day is getting a little easier to not be in relationship with such a sick man. It is so hard to watch those we care for destroy themselves isn't it? It is there responsibility and I am truly letting go with love and prayer.

Bye for now, and will check this thread tomorrow after work.

September 5, 2006
5:59 pm
Avatar
cloud nine
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi strong
yes something is not right

im very concern about his attitude to me and daughter to the extent that I decided not to send her to her dads this weekends,

yesterday he was ranting about the fact that i bought daughter nike trainers , darling was so happy and then after talking to her dad she was crying ,
today i texted him about my worries that stepdaughter is mean to my daughter and clls her wimp and rolls her eyes etc

he send me this txt message saying

"what is the point of passing a victi mentality onto your child ? dont bother replying because I find your whole approach intolerable and repulsive?

i felt sick after reading this and decided i wont engage with him.

my daughter doesnt want to go to her dads and seems relieved that i decided nto let her stay with me.

really dont know what is going on ?
wont tolerate he speaking to me like he does and lecturing me

had enough
thanks for support

little

well done for not falling in the rescue trap..

love to both

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110924
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38537
Posts: 714209
Newest Members:
delight1080, laticia1, Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer