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5:17 am
September 30, 2010
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strong
i want daughter to have relationship with her dad and half brother . His current girlfriend was a friend of mine , he cheated on me when we were together. I asked her to look after my daughter, while i was at art college they both betrayed me .that was 6-7 years ago. Im over it , left 4 years ago...
daughter usually enjoys going there , every other weekend....
she loves her dad and half brother.
recently she seems more anxious and feel sick at night.
me and her dad dont talk now since he says that the reason is that daughter is sick is that she is codependent.
i dont know what he means .
i want my daughter to be well and happy.
iim reading codepedent no more.
im confused,
am i also codependent?
thanks strong
9:30 am
September 30, 2010
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cloud -
There could be MANY reasons why your daughter seems more "nervous" and "sick at night." I would try talking with her. DEFINITELY question her about the visits to her father. Find out what he is saying to her. Words can devastate us. Do some detective work, OK? You might consider getting her into some pediatric therapy, also, to find out what might be going wrong in her world.
- Strong
P.S. I don't believe the child is "codependent." But if he is putting her down, verbally
9:31 am
September 30, 2010
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oops -
But if her father is putting her down, verbally, or trying to project some imaginary blame onto you, then you are going to have to protect her from him...and protect yourself, as well.
He sounds treacherous.
- Strong
5:25 pm
September 30, 2010
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strong
thanks for your words, yes not sure why she is so anxious at night, need lots of reassurance...cammomile tea etc, GP told me there was nothing wrong with her , puberty, school starts again, that kind of thing
we had nice day today , went for big lunch with friend and his daughter.
nice day.
but now she has a headache .:-(
3:45 pm
September 30, 2010
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cloud -
Your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong. KEEP DIGGING.
= Strong
6:39 pm
Hi Strong
Did you read my post about how he got slashed in the face in an unprovoked attack on Saturday night? I did want to nurse him yet when he refused to go to the hospital I left. He wanted to come to my place which I told him "No". We are friends now perhaps so I told him I will not sleep with him or be around him when he is drinking.
He called twice yesterday and just now today, and I refused to see him and reiterated my position since he is still drinking.
Spent 6 hours emptying out my kitchen since the contractors are coming this week with a huge bin to put the old kitchen and two bathrooms in to dispose of. It was a good distraction, yet still missing the sober companionship.
I will be and am Strong like you. Many thanks for your example.
8:54 pm
September 30, 2010
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Little -
It is good that you did not go to the hospital. Step back and STAY back. He is trying to manipulate you back into the codependent position of worrying about him and "fixing" him. And he is NOT your responsibility.
Stand strong.
9:55 pm
Thanks for the encouragement. Each day is getting a little easier to not be in relationship with such a sick man. It is so hard to watch those we care for destroy themselves isn't it? It is there responsibility and I am truly letting go with love and prayer.
Bye for now, and will check this thread tomorrow after work.
5:59 pm
September 30, 2010
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hi strong
yes something is not right
im very concern about his attitude to me and daughter to the extent that I decided not to send her to her dads this weekends,
yesterday he was ranting about the fact that i bought daughter nike trainers , darling was so happy and then after talking to her dad she was crying ,
today i texted him about my worries that stepdaughter is mean to my daughter and clls her wimp and rolls her eyes etc
he send me this txt message saying
"what is the point of passing a victi mentality onto your child ? dont bother replying because I find your whole approach intolerable and repulsive?
i felt sick after reading this and decided i wont engage with him.
my daughter doesnt want to go to her dads and seems relieved that i decided nto let her stay with me.
really dont know what is going on ?
wont tolerate he speaking to me like he does and lecturing me
had enough
thanks for support
little
well done for not falling in the rescue trap..
love to both
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