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Step towards financial freedom
June 1, 2005
5:08 pm
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Sol
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September 24, 2010
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My husband is an addict, I am going to my first alanon meeting today and going to the bank to separate all accounts as he has put us in a very bad financial situation. I am so angry, hurt, feel like an idiot. I did not realize, let him take care of accounts, saw some signs but did not trust my gut feeling. After six years of all of these ups and downs I feel I have gained nothing but pain. He is asking for one more chance, I am scared to give it to him and to not give it to him. I have a pain in my heart, feel panicked and a bit out of it. This is so crazy

June 1, 2005
5:14 pm
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lollipop3
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Sol,

I'm so glad you are going to Al-Anon.

Just a word of advice....if you don't like your first meeting....find another one. It is suggested that you attend at least 6 meetings before you decide whether or not Al-anon is for you. So give it a chance.

Don't panic and don't worry about making any major decisions right now.

Just go to your meeting and get the support that you really need right now.

You're taking the first step....I'm proud of you.

Good Luck

Lolli

June 1, 2005
5:14 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Sol: I'm glad you're planning on going to an Al Anon meeting. You will find so much support there from people w/ the same issues as you. I think it is a good move to get separate accounts and start to protect yourself financially. If you give him another chance, perhaps its a good idea to set some rules that he must follow in order for you to be happy. He's got some making up to do and you are wise to start thinking of yourself. Good luck to you. SD

June 1, 2005
9:51 pm
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Sol
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Thank you so much for the al-anon suggestion, I tried to go to the meeting and the church was closed. I am kind of upset, I really needed to start it today. I am so thankful for the support I have gotten from you guys today. I think this website is wonderful. I did successfully separate the accounts. I have found a place were I can stay rent free for three months with him our without him, to try to recover a bit of what he lossed. I feel I have been on overdrive and am exhausted and bitter. I am letting him stay in the other room for now. I am not going to make major decisions until I am stronger. It is so cool and sweet to see the same people respond to me on a day like today I have felt less lonely. Thanks again.

June 1, 2005
10:45 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Sol: that happened to me too. When I finally decided I had the nerve to go to an Al Anon meeting and found one I wanted to go to, it was cancelled that night. I was so disappointed after gearing myself up for it. I went to one later in the week that was a ladies stag meeting and I really felt comfortable there. They have a book of daily affirmations called "The Courage to Change" and it helps me still to get that out and read the daily affirmations. It really changes your way of thinking to not focus your emotions on the other person but more on yourself and your own well being. Let us know how it goes. SD

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