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Step-parent raising 4 children
February 22, 2001
6:58 pm
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Alena
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Katie, you've got a TON goin on.
Being the wicked stepmom is bad enough, but make those pre-hormonal girls, whew, you definitely are a target.

I kinda know a bit about step-parenting as I married my present husband when my own son was 1 1/2 and his son was 4. One week before we married, his ex told him that if we didn't take the boy, she would give him up as a ward of the court. Nice lady?

There isn't alot you can do about their mother and her fun weekends. But you can do something about your husband. Insist that if he can't support you and be a real father who disciplines also, then he needs to get some counseling to help him do it. You should not expect yourself to handle this all alone. If he doesn't show the girls that he respects you and your rules and your ideas, they will never respect you either. It's absolutely imperative that they do.

And you are being taken for granted, by them and by him.

By the way, the hell I went through trying to be everything to my stepson and receiving no support from husband, threw me into a major depression. I wish I knew then what I know now. Since then, I have encouraged my own two sons to NEVER get involved with a woman with a child. I know, I was one and it doesn't sound real good to say that, but the problems that come with it are so destructive if you aren't prepared to deal with them.

Get counseling, get your husband to stand up to his children. You don't deserve to suffer from this depression. You're doing all the work and it can make your life miserable.

February 22, 2001
9:03 pm
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Molly
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The Brady bunch, was TV, and not reality. I still have problems with his and mine, and they are in the 20's. Take a stand, but understand that in many ways they have been abandonded by both parents. As teens it is their job, to find the buttons and push. Don't let them push yours. No matter what I figure you loose, its a bitch, but you are the step mom, they have disney mom, and dad who wants to be the good guy. Don't take it personal, just do what is right, they need boundry lines, structure, and some day will get it that you are not a wicked B***** if you survive. If the program doesn't start to go your way, take a stand with the dad, that is your only out.

February 22, 2001
9:13 pm
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janes
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AND....don't be codependent....

Make a list of chores and include yourself on it...

Laundery....
dishes....
dusting.....
etc.
etc.

e
tc.

and put dad's name down too.

If chores arent' done..no friends over.

Stay calm.
draw the line and stick with it.

There are many good books about step familiies...

ALL of you might benefit from a few sessions with a counselor knowledgeble in the area of "blended families".

Good luck

February 23, 2001
5:29 pm
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janes
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Looks like we lost the initial post here.

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