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step 13
May 30, 2006
1:55 am
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pinkcloud
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September 24, 2010
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I have been missing you lately although I wasn't posting . tried as much as I can to take care of myself and my little kiddies(8, 6, 3.5).
I am asking myself if sending much energy to this thread is not the same way of focusing energy and taking care of others instead on myself (and don't forget English is not my everyday language so it takes really long time) . I hope I am not offending anyone here and is more of inquire to you as it is to me. I beginning to think that as much as it is so very helpful to give and get support with this group and feel that I am not alone, I afraid to put too much focus on the"not healthy" part of me.
when is the time that I can no longer defined myself as co dependent? I long to see myself as all the other qualities in me and not by my default. (step 13) to know that I CAN control that.- not co-dependent anymore.

I find it hard sometimes to distinguish between taking care of someone too much from being a good friend , I guess to ask myself what is my motivation and if I am trying to manipulate by my action can be helpful. find myself very often disappointed when people and friends don't invest in the relationship as much as I do or maybe they are just more healthy then me.... if healthy is to be selfish... then I hope to keep some of my disease.

hope we all get fast to step 13 Amen!!! have a significant exam today, wish me luck!!

love to all the angelic souls here

May 30, 2006
2:01 am
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Randomwomen2
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September 29, 2010
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Well good luck sweetheart and by the way your english is exelent. Its better than mine and its my first language LOL. It is very difficult to distingusih between caregiver and friendship sometimes its something that I know I have been working on its really hard. So you are not alone in that hunny.

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