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Staying sober and facing myself
November 14, 2005
8:24 pm
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balancesekr
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Hello everyone,
I have been off the board for awhile. I have been busy drinking almost every single night! I don't completely get drunk, but I tie one on.

The other night I got really drunk and drove home. I felt so sick the next day, it was terrible. I have done this before. I get to a point and say, I will never drink that much again, but then I do.

I wonder if this time will be different. I wonder why I am drinking so much. I struggle with my codependency and waffle within the relationship I am in. Evert day, I relive the same stuck situation, it is really no way to live! But it is what I have been doing.

So, I am know trying to FACE my problems and it starts with arresting other addictions. I have been successful at not having a drink now for the past 24 hours almost.

What I noticed in staying sober is feeling every awake, and almost not knowing what to do with myself. Perhaps this is why I run and drink. If I stay sober I might solve my problems?

Just wanted to post this. I am going to try really hard to make a change this time, not drink for awhile a see if I am able to come to some conclusions or answers within my relationship struggle.

Thanks for reading.
balancesekr

November 14, 2005
9:45 pm
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CAMER
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hi balance and welcome back.....keep the focus on one day at a time...and that's all....try to do the best that you can each and every day to make your life more healthy & keep coming back and posting
(((camer)))

November 14, 2005
9:52 pm
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cindle
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Hi balance.....One thing I would suggest is to go to an AA meeting. You don't have to say anything, but just hearing that there are others like you trying to stay sober is comforting. And the support that you feel is wonderful. And Camer is right - one day at a time.....one hour at a time.....or one minute at a time.

November 15, 2005
12:39 pm
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balancesekr
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hi camer, thank you for the warm welcome back 🙂
and hello cindle.

I guess I never fully realized how much I drink and what I am escaping by doing that. It is me running away from the relationship problems and general life problems!

So strange letting go of these bad behaviors when they are almost all you know!

Will I be as interesting w/o my problems! Will people accept me? I guess I need to accept myself, whatever way I am! Even though it seems most people like other people who have tons of drama going on and aren't boring!

Anyhoo, yes, one day at a time. Still no drinks yet since Sat, well, I am at work, I don't have a flask yet -hee hee.

Posting here is great. Having the feeling of belonging to something and having people to listen is great, thanks for being there for me.
balance

November 15, 2005
1:22 pm
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Lass
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Balance:

You don't ever have to get sober alone. Not only is it so much easier, it is also a lot more fun to not isolate, but join with others of like mind and body. Come on down to a mtg!

LL

November 15, 2005
1:51 pm
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Giggles_29
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Hi Balance, just wanted to say CONGRATS on not picking up a drink in a few days now. That's great. I myself am codpendent but have never been a drinker/or a drug user. HOWEVER, sometimes i feel being codependent is worse! I have the same behaviors, i noticed mine was spending money whether i had it to spend or not. I am now on the mend, as you are. I have had a major breakthrough in my situation this past weekend, you can read my threads if you would like, "Codependency at its Best", "Enough is Enough!", and "Taking a Stand". I am having a hard time today but am okay. Just like Camer said, One day at a time. I am hopeful that i will be okay, and will be able to just focus on myself.I wish you the best of luck, and pls keep coming back. Congrats again. @--]--- Giggles

November 15, 2005
2:41 pm
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artscheme
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Balance,
I am recently admitting to myself I drink too much. I am pretty sure it is the cause of a few problems in my relationship. I am thinking of at least getting a book on coda, but have also been considering AA meetings. I generally don't like group stuff like that, prefer a one-on-one, but am also going to counseling tomorrow. I am very proud of you for facing yourself. I TOTALLY understand the having too much energy and not knowing what to do with yourself. That is why I started drinking more, that is why I am currently in a rut, and that is why I have almost lost my BF of 7 years (ok some of it is him too). Anyway, being stong is hard, but getting in an accident and getting hurt or worse, will be harder. Good luck to you.

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