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Staying busy occupies the hands and the mind
May 26, 2005
9:37 pm
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starshine
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Today, I feel good. There were moments when I actually felt great. This took me a moment to realize, as I haven't felt great in a long, long time. I just want to share my day and my experience!

I went to court this morning with my best friend for her sentencing on a 2nd DUI. She went to jail. She will be there for 15 days, and the court pretty much owns her ass for the next two years. I left there feeling so grateful, not just for my freedom, but for the progress I am making in my life. I hate to watch people I love in pain, yet I didn't kick into my codependency and try to fix things for her, (ie: who will take care of your kids.) I actually sat in silence as we drove home, because I knew in that silence that it wasn't my job to make things better for her. My kids and myself come first. After that, I came home and put in three raised, brick flower beds ALL MY MYSELF!!! It was such a sense of ackomplishment, I just stood back and wanted to jump up and down because it felt sooo damn good. I was so involved with what I was doing that my mind never ONCE wandered to the ex BF. I spent almost seven hours alone and never once did he cross my mind, and never once did I feel lonely. I then picked up my kids, and spent time with them walking and getting icecream. Every moment of this day was spent inside of that moment, not behind me or way out in front of me. I am hopeful today, hopeful that if I pay attention to whats in front of me, I wont obsess about whats behind me.
Thanks for listening, I just wanted to share some good news!!

Starshine

May 26, 2005
9:40 pm
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lollipop3
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STAAARRRSSSHHINNNEEE------

I'm so proud of you. It sounds like you really had a great day. It's great to hear something positive....even better to FEEL something positive..yes?

Keep up the good work...sister.

Lolli

May 26, 2005
9:48 pm
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starshine
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Lollipop,
Thanks baby, feeling positive and hopeful is a hell of alot better then feeling sad and lost! Have a great weekend and again, thank you for your words of encouragement and for giving me inspiration!

Starshine

May 26, 2005
10:19 pm
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InPainZHT
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Starshine,

Actually, you have hit on something that is very basic to most philosophies on healing... and that is to learn to live in the moment, today, what's happening now, and not fret about past mistakes or anxiously worry about the future that hasn't happened yet (remember FEAR.... False Evidence Appearing Real)

Most of the self help books i've read, as well as the therapy i'm getting from a wonderful councilor, involves this as one of the many basic fundamentals to a "psychologically healthy mind". Go with it; you are on the right bath. The past is over, done, gone, exists ONLY in your memory and the future hasn't happened yet.

Upward and onward, starshine!

InPain

May 27, 2005
1:37 pm
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dustygirl
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Hi Starshine - thanks for this thread. I have been sitting here all morning "worrying" about all the "what if" and such. I will, from this moment on, try and keep extra busy, especially through the long weekend to keep my mind from obsessing.

Glad you've had a great day!

May 27, 2005
1:53 pm
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2bstrong
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Thanks to being a card-carrying member of the no-contact-club, I am able to keep myself busy these days without too much effort.

I knew that to stop the useless thought-obsessing, the drive-by's, the dial-and-hang-up's, contemplated e-mails, etc. that I had to be really busy. Even though it WAS NOT EASY AT FIRST. It is now, almost, dare I say it? Easy.

thanks for the thread starshine.

2b

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