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stalking trial in 4 weeks
October 14, 2003
12:57 am
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free
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My ex monster's mother is coming out for his trial. Apparently she is going to be here for the whole thing.

What's your take on this?

free

October 14, 2003
1:27 am
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gingerleigh
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Probably just there to support her son. Not sure what your relationship is like with her, but would advise you to steer clear. Emotions will be running high, and that's just another stress you don't need, yah?

October 15, 2003
12:11 am
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It's definitely another stress I don't need. her and I got along very well when I was married, but she is in denial about my ex and supports him. She has cheated me, lied to me, stolen from me in her attempts to support her son. I am afraid of her. I'm afraid of what she might do "in support of her son." My kids love her. I'm afraid of the poison she will tell them about me. I'm stable and provide a violence and drug free home and work hard at supporting my kids in their love for their father and his family. I rarely speak ill of any of them. I'm afraid that my kids will feel torn. I'm afraid that I cannot protect them from that feeling- that feeling devastates children. I'm afraid she might run with them if he is convicted. My ex monster hates his mother (maybe things have changed in the 5 years since we divorced, but he left the midwest to get away from her and his family). It was a sore point in our marriage. Now she is going to be here. I try to blow it off, but I'm just afraid of so many things. I don't understand why she is coming out. She wouldn't even come out for our wedding or the birth of our children or his hernia surgery or when he got kicked out of the house and the ugly divorce or when he got arrested or Christmases, etc. Her life is about her. (apples don't fall far from the tree do they?) Now, all of a sudden, she is coming out. She acts like I'm some horrible evil thing who is persecuting her son, and I don't want my kids around that. They need somebody they can trust. That person is me. I don't tell them everything, but I do give them options, such as explaining to them that people remember things differently and it's possible that nobody here is lying. I offer them ways to avoid choosing or judging so that they can spend their childhood loving and being kids.My oldest just recieved a subpoena to testify. I'm upset. I don't want her here. She is an enabler and God knows I don't need my ex monster enabled more than he already is.

Why is she coming? Support her son how? he isn't going to testify. he just gets to sit there. So what's her point?

free

October 15, 2003
12:23 am
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gingerleigh
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Not sure, Free. It's impossible to crawl into her head now, isn't it? Probably wouldn't want to anyway *grin* Thing is, you're a mom. So is she. As imperfect as she might be, there has got to be some good in everyone, and perhaps she is going through thoughts and changes of her own. No matter what the history, blood is thicker than water, and perhaps in her own twisted logic, this is the best way she knows to support her son. It's her thing, try not to worry your mind around it, because it really *is* out of your control.

Does she have to see the kids? Does she have a legal right? And as for your oldest testifying, does that have to happen? (Your lawyer probably can research options for you.) Good luck, Free, and strength.

October 15, 2003
12:42 am
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Thanks gingerleigh. I appreciate your response and support. You';re right. It's out of my control.

free

October 15, 2003
9:59 pm
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My oldest has to testify. Visitation will happen during the trial- I can't stop it. I got my subpoena yesterday from the District Attorney's office. I'm just getting all wound up.

October 15, 2003
10:57 pm
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mj
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Hi Free,
So sorry to hear this.

It just doesn't seem fair to drag the kids into court. I remember doing that myself at the age of 12. When you love your parents, you don't want to see either one of them hurting. Please hang in there.

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