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SPRING COMING... KID STUFF?
February 9, 2001
1:33 pm
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Forever_Dead
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SHOULD BE STUPID TO WRITE ALL THESE, FOR I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT MY PROBLEM REALLY IS. PERHABS IT IS JUST ST. VALENTINE'S DAY AND SPRING COMING... I NEVER KNEW HOW PAINFUL IT CAN BE WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH A PERSON WHO IS JUST A FRIEND. BEST FRIEND. AND YOU ARE THE ONE TO KNOW HOW MUCH HE LOVES ANOTHER GIRL... I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS NOT THE ONE FOR ME, THIS KIND OF DON JUAN. THAT'S WHY I SAID NO WHEN HE WANTED TO MAKE ME HIS GIRLFRIEND. WE BECAME FRIENDS. TIME HAS PASSED AND I REALIZED THAT HE ATTRACTS ME STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT. I LIKED HIM ALL THE TIME. BUT DID IT HAVE TO GROW INTO LOVE? A KIND OF LOVE I'VE NEVER FELT B4. BUT THE FEELING WASN'T MUTUAL. NO, I KEEP THINKING IT WAS AND STILL IS, BUT WHY THEN WOULD HE TELL ME ABOUT HIS LOVE TO ANOTHER GIRL? WHY WOULD HE LOOK SO HURT WHENEVER SHE WOULD REJECT HIM? I DIE OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHEN HE STARTS TELLING ME THAT HE CANNOT HELP THINKING ABOUT HER... FIRST TIME HE ASKED HER OUT WAS AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY - IRONICALLY THAT WAS THE TIME WHEN I REALIZED THAT I LOVE HIM. WE DANCED TOGETHER AND IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL MOMENT OF MY LIFE. AND NOW I THINK THAT THIS DANCE DIDN'T REALLY BELONG TO ME. MAYBE SHE, KNOWING THAT I LOVED HIM, ASKED HIM TO INVITE ME? FROM THAT MOMENT ON IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY: WE WOULD SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER, SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER, AND HE WOULD SEEM TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME, TOO, BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY HE WOULD START TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER... SOMETIMES I THINK THAT HE IS JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME JELOUS BUT WHAT'S THE USE OF FOOLING YOURSELF? I WILL TRY TO KILL THIS LOVE INSIDE ME BUT HOW SHOULD I BEHAVE B4 THEN? HOW SHOULD I TREAT THAT GIRL, WHOM I NEVER REALLY LIKED AND NOW... DO I HATE HER? MAYBE. EVERYBODY AROUND SEEMS TO KNOW THAT I AM IN LOVE. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOT TO SEEM A LOSER? GET ANOTHER GUY? THAT WOULD BE UNFAIR ON HIM. TELL THE "FRIEND" OF MINE THAT I LOVE HIM AND ASK HIM WHAT HE FEELS? NO WAY. I AM LOST. BUT MAYBE IT'S JUST KID STUFF. THE SPRING IS COMING AFTER ALL!..

February 9, 2001
7:42 pm
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janes
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You said "no' when he wanted to "make you his girl"

Is that like making cookies?

Sorry....just sounds like you had no say in the matter.

If he is a don juan ("jerk") YOU made the best decision of your life (I think) when you said no.

"Love".....hmmmmmmm I don't know what that really is even now.

I think our phys bodies and hormones make lots of "junk" seem like love.

Would you ever truly trust this don juan...

Save the friendship...ignore the idea of hating the other girls he talks too.

Find your SELF and be happy with YOU and groups for friends.

Life is way to short to complicate it to early with "romance and lost loves etc."

time has a way of making bad stuff easier to handle.

If I were you I would wait and just observe his behavior....If he isn't liking you back right now don't profess undying love....you'll lose a friend

If he is worth anything and starts liking you back he won't lead you on one time and forget the closeness the next day.

You want a steay fella for a steady fella.

February 10, 2001
1:53 am
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Forever_Dead
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Dear Janes, thank you so much for your advices. Still I can justify most of his actions. As I said we're close friends and he keeps telling me that he longs for love and stability... Unfortunately not with me. It should be stupid pride that doesn't let me forget him and hurts me all the time. It's no good to be a loser. However, maybe God didn't want me to be with that guy? Maybe there is someone better for me? Maybe one day my love to this don juan will die?

February 10, 2001
9:03 am
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janes
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Yes Yes Yes to all your questions.

#1 If you are strong in YOUR SELF there is no reason to ever think if your self as a loser.

Just because a certain person does not return your affections DOES NOT make you a loser.

Each of us is an individual and you need to give that respect to each individual you know.

WE all seem to lthink the "grass is greener", if we just had "________" (insert person or item of your choice" our lives would be perfect.

Accept his friendship and if and when you can just let go of the idea that this guy is your "one and only"

There is someone in the world being prepared to be with you.

Maybe you haven't even met them yet.

Work on being a complete individual in your own right, strong, independent, whole, healthy, etc.

When the time is right...the time will be tight.

good luck

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