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Spent night in hospital
March 19, 2010
3:09 am
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gettnthere
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I spent last night in hospital because they said I was in crisis-and that's exactly how I felt. I decided that my husband and child were better off without my dramas in their life. I spoke with psychiatric staff who were wonderful and totally supportive. I was told that the reason that I sometimes regress after having periods of calm is because I am healing-something someone pointed out to me here a little while ago. I feel flat now-exhausted. But I do feel a bit better knowing that I am not crazy but suffering post traumatic stress. It makes complete sense. The man who abused me will be charged and arrested within the next two weeks apparently. If we go to trial I apparently gave the option of giving my statement via video. But part of me really wants to look this monster in the eye. The other part of me is terrified at this thought. I think that is what triggered me yesterday.

March 19, 2010
8:06 am
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curious64
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I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. But happy to hear to did get some help to get through this crisis.

Maybe after he is arrested and you have a chance to speak your part you will feel more free and able to move on with your healing.

I certainly am not the best one to give advice as I am still stuck in the muck of my recovery, but I am here and I am supporting you. Sending big hugs your way. ((hugs))

March 19, 2010
5:53 pm
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gettnthere
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Thanks for your support-it means so much, it really does. This recovery process to me feels like one part success, two parts utter nightmare! I am assured that it gets better. But that it's tough in the meantime, sometimes. I know all if us here are dealing with these issues in one way or another-there is comfort in numbers. Even so, sometimes it's hard not to think you are a complete basket case; that somehow you are responsible for the emotional turmoil. I know I am not when I look back on it but in the moment the guilt shame fear etc is sometimes so overwhelming. I was frightened the other night because I felt the best solution was to kill myself. And I hate thinking that. Well I hate that I can think that because it's insane. But in the moment, I lose all common sense. But any how am seeing a new therapist as of next week who has been recommended by both the police and the psych team. So really looking forward to that, I think this will be a very good step forward.

March 19, 2010
5:53 pm
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gettnthere
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Thanks for your support-it means so much, it really does. This recovery process to me feels like one part success, two parts utter nightmare! I am assured that it gets better. But that it's tough in the meantime, sometimes. I know all if us here are dealing with these issues in one way or another-there is comfort in numbers. Even so, sometimes it's hard not to think you are a complete basket case; that somehow you are responsible for the emotional turmoil. I know I am not when I look back on it but in the moment the guilt shame fear etc is sometimes so overwhelming. I was frightened the other night because I felt the best solution was to kill myself. And I hate thinking that. Well I hate that I can think that because it's insane. But in the moment, I lose all common sense. But any how am seeing a new therapist as of next week who has been recommended by both the police and the psych team. So really looking forward to that, I think this will be a very good step forward.

March 19, 2010
6:18 pm
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fantas
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((((Gettnthere)))), I'm sorry too about your struggles. You family is better with you in it and your will get past this if you hang in there. Killing yourself is not the better option... hang in there!!

March 19, 2010
11:08 pm
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Mugsie
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Sending you hugs((())) and smiles 🙂 🙂 It will get better.

(((Mugsie)))

March 20, 2010
2:43 am
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gettnthere
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Thanks you guys...I know family are more likely better off with me around-stupidly though I sometimes feel they would be better off without the drama. And the pain. My husband is going to join me with the therapist, probably on his own at first, mainly so he can get a better handle on how to deal with it all too. He gets angry with family -mainly my mum- putting pressure on. I was worried that it was all too much for him and that he might walk but he says 'i ain't goin anywhere!'. He's a good egg. But needs to take care too. I am lucky though. We will get there!!!!

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