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SOUNDS LIKE A WILD ROLLERCOASTER!!
October 13, 2006
12:46 pm
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santino
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I had dinner with my best friend last night and we started talking about how I feel and how Im doing. I told her how I felt betrayed and hurt. She then looked at me and said "you don't really have anything to be mad at, she left you, then she decided to persue her ex, or her ex decided to persue her. You guys were not together anymore, she could see whoever she wants." I fought back with "I know vut not her ex" She then said "it doesn't matter who it is, what maters is that its none of your business, if you went back to your ex wife, would you ow your ex-gal anything? She doesn't owe you shit, and you don't owe her shit. You don't have the right to hate her, just chalk this up as a learning experience and moce on". I soaked it all in and I found some truth behind what she was saying. 3 years ago my wife and I had seperted for about 6 months, I had found out she had cheated on me, during the split, I was seeing someone else. Somehow 1 day my ex wife ended up convincing me that she was so sorry and he wanted a secound chance. I gave it to her and we got back together. I dropped my new girl and went back to my wife. So I guess in a way I did the same, and now I'm feeling what that girl must have felt. In the end of the day I guess my exgirfriend have history, wheather its good or bad they have an exstensive past, my exgirl and I only had 8 months, not nearly enough time to make a big deal of. What it comes down to is she used me to get over her ex, and maybe I used her to get over my exwife. Sounds strange doesn't it?

October 13, 2006
12:56 pm
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nvr2late
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nope, sounds logical!
maybe you just think of how good it was and learn from the lesson.
it is tough for them to go back to their ex's, when they have history too!
but..would it be better if she found a new guy?
probably not...put it in perspective.

it hurts when they go back to their ex's because you feel like you were not enough to get her over him.

but this is not about you...this is all about her...since this was her decision to make...she has to live with what has not changed, or maybe has...
but she will find out that they are ex's for a REASON...and if going from him to you to him...there is no way she has worked on herself enough to build a good relationship.

there is a little comfort in that...or at least a little hope that she is going to be miserable! 🙂

but, those are just my thoughts!

nvr

October 13, 2006
1:21 pm
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santino
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nvr2late, I think your right. My ex and I have that in common. In our past we have always moved from 1 relationship to another. And for her its no diffrent this time. I on the other hand am alone, I wont get in another relationship until I'm over her. It's time to end the cycle for me. And knowing what I know now about her kind of makes it easier for me to move on. I'm not going to think good thoughts about her, or bad thoughts, I'm going to try not to have any thoughts. Thanks.

October 13, 2006
1:51 pm
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atalose
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Santino,

When we are ready to learn life's lessons, the teachers will come.!!

Sounds like your best friend is your teacher and you are learning the life lesson of not jumping into another relationship until you have fully grieved and processed the last.
You also learned to understand the type of person that does not fit into your life and now you are able to move on.

Our family, friends, co-workers and the wonderful people who post here, cannot teach us anything until we are ready to learn the lesson. How many times have you heard the same thing over and over but finally it's put a certain way or told to you months later and you have a "LIGHT BULB" moment and you finally understand it all. All of us are like that; we will not learn the lessons until we are ready.
Sounds like you were ready to learn this one!!!

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 13, 2006
2:34 pm
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CAMER
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i know of so many who go back to ex's and end a new relationship to repair a broken on with the ex...but
most of the time, it never works out anyways. And yes, this is just a learning experience.......good idea too with having "no thoughts" of her and taking time for you!

October 13, 2006
3:42 pm
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santino
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Thanks everyone, Im going to need all your help and advise to get throught this one. 🙂

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