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Sorry-Must Read Power and Control Wheel---Click on this one
May 15, 2007
11:48 am
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AQueen
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September 27, 2010
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I know many of us have been in relationships with controlling men. Some have been in domestic violence relatioships and didn't even know it because their man didn't use physical violence. The power and control wheel is a wheel describing different tactic's these controlling men use. You will definately see some of the tactic's your guy used on you. Read below.

USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE
putting her down
making her feel bad about herself
making her think she's crazy
playing mind games
humiliating her
making her feel guilty

USING ISOLATION
controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes,
limiting her outside involvement
using jealousy to justify actions

USING INTIMIDATION
making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
smashing things
destroying her property
abusing pets
displaying weapons

USING CHILDREN
making her feel guilty about the children
using the children to relay messages
using visitation to harass her
threatening to take the children away

MINIMIZING, DENYING, AND BLAMING
making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously
saying the abuse didn't happen
shifting responsiability of abusive behavior
saying she caused it

SEXUAL ABUSE
making her do sexual things against her will
physically attacking the sexual parts of her body
treating her like a sex object

USING MALE PRIVILEGE
treating her like a servant
making all the big decisions
acting like the master of the castle
being the one to define men's and women's roles

USING ECONOMIC ABUSE
preventing her from getting or keeping a job
making her ask for money
giving her an allowence
taking her money
not letting her know about or have access to family income

USING COERCION AND THREATS
making and/or carring out threats to do something to hurt her
threatening to leave her
threatening to commit suicide
threatening to report her to welfare, the state, police, etc
making her drop charges

Sound familair?

AQueen

May 15, 2007
11:52 am
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sleepless in uk
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yep...too familiar

thanks for that. Sometimes we need to have it reinforced.

May 15, 2007
3:29 pm
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StronginHim77
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Wow. This totally profiles the husband I left. TOTALLY. Major control freak. "Economic abuse!" That's a new term for me, but it sure describes the way my husband hid his income, controlled all expenditures, refused to give me a household account or even permit me to do the grocery shopping. (Hhe did it all...I was not allowed to. His explanation? I didn't know how to shop as well as he did.) That was all part of his "control" over me. I had to research for a month, just to find out the physical address of his current jobsite. He hid that from me, too.

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