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sometimes i want to give up..
January 30, 2007
10:20 pm
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needingadvice
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well this is my first time here...i have a lot of 'problems' well the week before christmas i almost commited sucide. i had already overdosed and then told my mom about it. after that my life kinda turned aroiund..sorta..well last week i almost overdoesed again. i called my boyfriend and told him that i dont feel that anyone wants me since my best friend and i had gotten into a fight. he said that he wanted me and he loved me. but i still dont feel like i belong here. it seems like i cant do anything right. and today my dad told me that he could lose his job. my brother is in the army and he will be home in march for 5 days before he leaves for iraq. im scared out of my mind that somethings gping to happed to him. it seems like my life is falling apart right before my eyes. im going to a counsler about everything. but i dont feel that its helping. and i want to just give up on life. i really need some advice..please help!

needingadvice

January 30, 2007
10:26 pm
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free
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hi

been here done this one. more than once.

Something that really helped me was studying the Holocaust.

I wish I could remember where I read the following- it has stuck in my mind to this day:

From the mouth of a Jew in Sobibor concentration camp:

"As long as we are alive, there is hope."

This Jew escaped from Sobibor with many others, saw the liberation of the camps, and went on to Israel to marry and raise a family.

How did these people survive?

I found their answers to be the answers to my questions and a light when I could see no hope.

hugs to you

free

January 30, 2007
11:14 pm
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needingadvice
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i want to overdose again. i really dont want to be here. im in pain constantly. i havent talked to my boyfriend since sunday and i really need ot talk to him now. im scared. scared of losing him. scared of my dad losing his job. scared that my brother is going to get killed. i dont know what to do. i want the pain to stop. but it never does. i want to be happy. really happy. not faking it happy. but i dont know anything else but to fake it. free, i am alive but i dont find hope in it. i dont find hope in getting up to go tp school where i sit there for 7 hours wanting to get out of there to come home and want to leave again. i dont find hope in anything. not even God anymore. yes i am Catholic but ive given up on Him. i dont feel that He's done anything for me. so i just stopped believing.

needingadvice

January 31, 2007
4:32 am
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alycia
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Maybe its time for another counsellor if u feel this one is getting you nowhere. When you say u want to overdose are u generally a drug taker/addict or are you saying it out of the blue that you merely want to overdose to end it all.

It sounds stupid but i am just asking... You need to find out why you are like this and if you have to change counsellors then so be it.

You only have one life, enjoy it... Some mothers watch their children dying in cancer wards in the hospital, its not that bad.

Your brother loves what he is doing no doubt or he wouldnt be doing it, say lots of prayer for him but he wouldnt be happy if he wasnt doing what he is doing for his country as much as it hurts.

Friends will always fight, its nothing to feel helpless for.

Your boyfriend loves you and although u didnt hear from him for a day doesnt change that. I am sure your dad will be okay, again say a prayer and no doubt if he is a determined man he will be looking for work again very soon if and only if he loses his job.

I dont mean to suggest you have no right to feel sad over all this stuff but i just want you to remember that people are dying out there everyday and you have a loving partner, a great family and a best friend who will eventually come around when she cools off.

You need to talk to the counsellor about finding ways to deal with your feelings instead of trying to overdose .. Maybe you need a good chat to a doctor also...

I am not trying to undermine the way you feel, we cant help how we feel and i know you dont want to feel lousy all the time, you just need to find ways to feel happy again.....

Strive for something, have one night a week where u do something for you, have a day where u and your partner get together, in other words have stuff to look forward too...

Sit at the beach and watch the sun set and be grateful for all that god has given us....

i hope u feel better soon, mums are also very inciteful .... have a chat to mum and i am sure she will even be able to tell you how to feel better...

Keep in touch

January 31, 2007
8:54 am
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hopeful for change
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I have times, one most recently in december as well, where I felt so depressed I just wanted to give up, lay down and die. I went to my doctor and asked for an anti-deppresant and it really has helped me. If you aren't on one, I think you should consider it.

If you don't feel you are getting help with your counselor, find another one.

I think when we loose hope that it causes depression. We have to have hope.

I don't know how old you are, but let me tell you that these things that are weighing heavily on your mind are real things. Your brother being at war, your dad loosing his job etc. - When we are young without alot of life experiences, sometimes we don't know things will get better. Sometimes we are at the darkest places in life and think it will never get better, but it does.

Maybe you could turn this into something positive to try to help. Like raising money or things to send to Iraq. - Doing whatever you can to send hope to your brother. Imagining the things he is going through, is heartbreaking. Every picture of hope you can send to him, every letter, every cookie, every baby wipe, every battery....all those things brighten his day.

I just read a book about the holocaust as someone mentioned. It was called night,it was short, but good. It made me feel depressed, that these things go on in this world. I would suggest something more positive myself.

Someone, somewhere always has it worse off than us for sure, but it doesn't make our pain less.

Dr. Phil once said, and I remember this one. You can be laying in the hospital bed with a broken leg and the guy next to you can have an amputated leg. you can look at him and say god, I am so lucky, that guys is alot worse off than me. But it doesn't make your pain less.

I am probably rambling here, sorry. But anytime you need to talk, talk. When you feel these feelings, come here write them down, get them out. When you think suicidal thoughts, remember what that would do to your brother, your dad and everyone who loves you. God has a purpose for you, even if you don't know what it is yet.

chin up, keep going forward one day at a time.

January 31, 2007
2:30 pm
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needingadvice
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im 15 going to be 16. alycia, this is my second counsler. i havent been to one for 2 years and just recently (since christmas) ive started feeling like this. and i hate it. i dont take drug drugs like street drugs. but like ibuprofen, tyonal etc. but ive only done that once. hopeful for change, i go to my counsler tomorrow and my mom said i need to talk to her about getting an anti-depressant. ive been on zolaft a few years ago and then stopped cuz it hepled. and i was fine for awhile. i am going to raise money but not for iraq. there is a little boy that i get on his website who had cancer, and he passed away in june 2006 and 2 of my friends and i are having a sweet sixteen and insted of presents we are asking for money for a origanization his parents started. i had thought about collecting silly string to send to iraq. but the cans cant be mailed. so i didnt know what i would do with them once i got them. and i try to have hope and pray but i personally dont feel that God really hears my prayers. i would lie in bed at night bawling my eyes out for help from Him but its never came. everything with my brother hurts worse and worse everyday. just knowing that once hes over there everytime i hear a soldier was killed ill think it was him. im terrified. we have a family friend whose son is in iraq and he told us a story about how iraqies are dressing in american acu's and have armord cars and one soldier got kidnapped and shot to death. knowing that..wow..we have a bennidict arnold again. what is this world coming to!?!? im sick of all the fighting. but i know we cant back out now. everything that we've worked for over there would be worthless. all the lives lost. its just really hard. i really like coming on here. i feel like a weight has been lifted off of my when i write. thanks to all of you who respond!

needingadvice

January 31, 2007
11:34 pm
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hopeful for change
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I can't imagine what you must be feeling and going through with your brother there. I would say probably anxiety and depression and scared would be normal in that situation. I find the war, and the starving children, and aids and povert and all of it so overwhelming myself that it brings me down...I want to help, I want to save all these people and sometimes it gets just overwhelming to much, we can't save everyone. And really right now i am trying to save my family financially and myself medically.

If the xoloft worked for you before then hopefully it will again. I started taking the cymalta and I could tell a difference in a few weeks, I mean don't get me wrong life isn't a bed of roses, but I don't feel like just laying down and dying and giving up.

I think God does hear our prayers. Sometimes if we got what we prayed for it would change things that need to happen. I don't know if I am explaining myself clearly. For a small example, I could pray god please don't let me loose my job, my family needs it etc. - and then I loose it and we are financially really bad off, but that occuring causes something else that would have never have happened if I hadn't lost that job, maybe I find the best job ever, the love of my life, my best friend, my purpose in the world. I think God works in mysterious ways. We don't know why and sometimes we never will. But each obstacle for the bad or the good, forms who we become, changes us, teaches us. And we grow.

At 16 life is hard, atleast it was for me. I have two teens, and I remember how hard those times were.

I think that the ideas you have for your party are wonderful, and that goes to show a wonderful thing about the person you are..giving, caring, compassionate, wanting to help and change peoples lives. That is awesome.

I wish I could stop the war, bring all the soldiers home. I wish the people that are innocent in Iraq could be freed as well. I wish there was something I could say to change that, to make you feel better. And I personally wish we weren't over there. But, I have to believe that all of these soldiers know that they are helping people be freed of the previous government. Hopefully this world can someday be at peace.

I pray for your brothers safe and speedy return. Here to talk anytime, I ramble alot...but thats me. For me writing has always helped.

February 1, 2007
2:13 pm
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needingadvice
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i went to the doctor today. i went for my cold but we also talked to him about depression medicine. im on one now. the past 2 weeks ive been having headaches and he said it might be from my depression. i hope they go away. last night when i was talking to my boyfriend, we were playing 50 questions and he asked me what my iq was and i said 0. he asked me why im always putting myself down. i told him its cuz i went to a Catholic school for 9 years and thats all i know how to do. i am no longer at that school. when he asked that i thought to myself that its stupid for me to do that but i end up putting myself down anyway. but i have HOPE that this medicine will help. yes i did say HOPE. again thanks for the advice hopeful for change. it really does help!

*~*needingadvice*~*

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