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SOMETHINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN PICKING A PARTNER
October 23, 2001
2:56 pm
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Ladeska
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When entering into a new relationship, it is good to have a checklist available that will enable you to stay tuned into your brain, as well as your feelings. If you allow your feelings to lead you around by the nose, you will end up in a place where your brain will have to work overtime in order to save you - from yourself! In our society of “quick fix” and “quick gratification”, we seem to forget that the best things in life - take time. If you make a quick decision about anything without due diligence and examination, you usually end up regretting it down the road. Taking that first step into a relationship without really looking at what you’re doing - while you’re doing it, won’t enable you to build anything - except a paper mache house where everyone plays a nice temporary game of pretend. You’re worth more than that. The following checklist might help you if you are interested in being “wise” about this most important step that affects everything else in your life:

Who picked who?

If they pursued you and you are just responding to that alone - Beware. A red light is flashing here that indicates - you may be reacting out of low self esteem. Even if they were the one to seek you out, that’s fine, but you in turn, need to turn around and go through the process of seeing if this person meets “your” standards for what you want and need in your life. Too often we are so flattered by the flirting and aggressiveness of the other person that we forget to fulfill this responsibility to ourselves. We become what they need and want and screw ourselves in the process.

How long has it been since this person or yourself has been in a committed relationship?

Has enough time passed whereby the purging of this other relationship has ran it’s course? Are there still strong residual feelings concerning the past significant other? If so, there can be no true blending with the two of you. There will be a third person with you at all times and the relationship that could have been - will be sabotaged right from the beginning. It’s best to wait until - this purging is done and the person, whether it’s you or them, has had some time to learn how to - just be with themselves and reclaim their own personhood. Big warning - to those who jump right from one relationship into another. You take your problems and mistakes with you, only to share them with someone else, and repeat them in the next relationship.

It should go without saying here, but too many people say they would never end up here and end up doing it anyways.....if they are married or separated - Forget it. Again, a relationship with three people in it, won’t work. Not to mention the children that might be involved. There is a reason why we have a moral code. If we go against it - we hurt ourselves and others. People need to truly end one thing - before starting another and if you allow yourself to get caught up in this spiderweb - you will pay for it dearly. If not now, down the road. We do not need to make ourselves the bridge and doormat that “gets them through this process”. It wasn’t “your” relationship in the first place. It’s between them and it needs to stay that way from beginning to end.

We deserve to be No. 1 in someone’s life and if we accept second best - we have no one but ourselves to blame for the choice - we made. And there is nothing wonderful about wooing or seducing someone away from someone else. If this competitive game is where we get our power and self-esteem, then we shouldn’t be surprised when the tables turn on us. Anyone who can be so easily pulled away from someone else, can be easily snatched from us as well. The issue of trust isn’t something to play with. It’s something that deserves the utmost respect from us.

Does the physical attraction outweigh all the other things you do or do not have in common?

Being physically attracted is a big deal. I’d be lying if I said differently. And if you’re willing to pay the price for this decision - you’ll get exactly what you sign up for. Something shallow and meaningless in the end. I’ve never known of any relationship where the physical attraction got anyone through any rough spots in the road. So, why should we allow it to have such value in our initial deciding process? Do you truly have things in common other than in the physical/sexual arena, as in hobbies, sports, spiritual matters, etc.?

In the areas where you are different - is there a real Respect for that differentness on both your parts?

Tolerance is a word that is thrown around a lot these days. I seem to prefer the word “respect”. If you just “tolerate” someone in their views, it seems to have a different meaning - than if you truly “respect” them. I’d really look at this one intently if I were you. Is there just tolerance and maybe even a little or a lot of patronizing going on, or is it truly and honestly - respect that you are seeing? A person who can truly respect another’s differentness is a person that is confident with themselves and well grounded in their own personhood. Your differentness will not be a “threat” to them in any way. If all they want to do is challenge you all the time in how you think or believe about something - take two steps back. This is a strong sign of - lack of respect. It is a bullying characteristic that won’t stop rearing it’s ugly head. They are basically telling you that they will not allow this differentness and you will be brow beaten until you change your ideas. And yes - passive brow beatings are just as nasty as outright attacks. It’s just the “sneaky” or passive way to do it and not get caught.

Are they very insistent on being with you all the time in the beginning?

People often mistake this behavior of "needieness" to be a flattering thing. Most often a sign of someone’s needing you to fill a void in their life. Constant phone calls, them just showing up at your door unannounced, or wanting to schedule dates every other day is a tell-tale sign of this. Someone who is really healthy will take their time and allow a relationship to develop - over time. This is especially hazardous if the main reason seems to be about - the physical end of things. Again, making a main course of the physical attraction side of things - will eventually fizzle out and leave you with what you should have paid attention to all along. And if they constantly have to know, even in a seemingly “polite” way - where you are all the time and what you are doing - don’t mistake this for a sign of how much they want you or care about you. It’s a power play and a very dangerous one. This is a person with control issues and at the very least - someone who struggles with their own self esteem and who will eventually not let you breathe in a relationship or have a personhood of your own at all. See the warning signs early - and act on them, regardless of how well they kiss! (smile) It’s much easier to walk away in the beginning than it is to walk away after things have gotten so horribly ugly. You have the right to call it - just like it is - early instead of later. Please trust your right to discern correctly and then trust your own judgement.

Can both of you take the time to “go slow” and allow a courtship dance between the two of you to evolve?

Regardless, of what may go on in relationships around you, and on the boob tube and movie screen - please be wiser than all this influence. It’s okay to walk to the tune of a different drummer. Most really wise people make up about 10% or less of any group. People will never tell you this when they are wanting what they want from you, but they lose respect for you when you don’t make them go through all your gates before they get to the most intimate part of your dwelling. If they are truly interested in you as a person all the way around and a candidate for a long-term relationship - they won’t balk at - going slow. If they do pressure you otherwise - they were never truly interested in the total picture of you and a long-term anything in the first place. Sure you may mess up and “go there” before either one of you really needed to, but you can always correct that and lay different boundaries. Pay close attention to their “respect” factor concerning this, too. If they do everything in their power to convince you to go back to where you were - then you know that they are only concerned with what they want - and nothing else. What is true and worth having - waits and respects the other person’s wishes without making it hard for them in any way. People have a way of passively punishing you and tempting you to go against what you’ve already stated is a boundary you need to have. This is a blatant show of disrespect and needs to be looked at by you in no other light.

Is there an overwhelming compulsion on your part or both of your parts - to immediately “tell all” regarding yourself and your life?

It’s one thing to want to share with this person things about yourself. But, if you feel like you need to do it the first night or even during the first week - not good. Sometimes - less is more. A person who does this probably feels like they need to have themselves validated by the other person - immediately. This comes from a place of low self-esteem and puts the other person in a position they don’t need to be in quite yet. It’s a very premature action and will unbalance the relationship right from the beginning. Most things that we would even want to share - would probably be heavy duty things, like hurts, betrayals, involved issues we have with other people/family - and just generally negatively charged things in our lives. Why do we need to have someone validate us concerning these things, when in all reality - none of it had anything to do - with “them”? And who - you are or they are - has nothing to do with them or you - either! You are who you are - with or without anyone else’s consent or input. You can’t go through life changing for every person you meet. And that’s exactly what you’d be putting yourself in the position of doing - if you basically wanted someone to pass approval on all you right in the beginning. That’s too much of a load to put on anyone in the first place. Sometimes it takes people a while to really be “able to understand” another person and where they are coming from. So if you’re truly looking for understanding - don’t shoot yourself in the foot. In the beginning, they’d much rather know about your “sunshine” and the positive parts of your life. They probably weren’t drawn to you because of all your pain. If they were - then run like Hell! (That’s another disaster altogether.) Allow “time” to develop a foundation that will support - the heavy duty things and also provide the understanding and validation that you truly need. No microwave or push button anything here, okay?

Also - be very careful about “what you share” with someone - you don’t really know yet....be very careful about this. We oftentimes give people way too much information about ourselves in the beginning and later we wonder why - these same people know exactly "where and how to hurt us". Um...we told them, gave them a road map.

The courting time of a relationship should be about - finding out who someone is - over time - by watching their actions, not........just listening to their words. Read that line until it becomes written in stone. Words are cheap and easy. Actions - really tell the story. Remember that. Anyone that has to keep telling you over and over again how wonderful they are - are usually telling you - they are quite the liar and the opposite of whatever they told you. Someone who really is wonderful - doesn’t have to toot their own horn all the time. And neither do they need to go back over all their past relationships with you and tell you how wrong the other person was and how right they were. People contribute equally to a break-up, just like they contribute equally to a successful relationship.

I’ve found that people who constantly profess their irritation about something - are nine times out of ten - the very people who are doing whatever. They just cry foul about it all the time because of their own guilt and try hard to throw people - off track about themselves. To state something now and then is one thing, but to constantly harp on it - is another. There are either some very disturbing issues here or the person is hiding something. So, when someone is constantly talking about something like - how much they hate unfaithfulness and how they would never, never do that and how every person in their lives has been unfaithful to them, etc., etc. - Be very wary...... They are most likely talking about - their own unfaithfulness. It’s just like the man or the woman who is constantly accusing his faithful marriage partner of going out on him and is horribly jealous all the time, when in all reality - they’ve been having an affair for years. The guilty dog - always barks the loudest. Food for thought.

Do they keep their word to you and are they considerate of you? Do they call you when they say they will? Do they show up for dates on time? Do they constantly change plans in mid-stream without talking to you much, or at all about it? Do they just “assume” what you’d like to do, where you’d like to go, what you’d like to eat, etc.? If you are disrespected in this fashion and not “considered” in the making of plans - it more than likely - won’t get better. If we start out making excuses for someone in this area - we can only hope to - continue in this exercise. Except, once the courtship is over and they have landed you, so to speak - even the “nice-nice” attached to it will fade away and they probably won’t even bother to give you any excuses. They showed you who they were in the beginning - and you accepted it, so in their minds - what’s your problem? Be very careful what you are signing up for in the foundation of a relationship. It’s all there in the beginning - if we will see it and not think - oh, they’ll grow out of it or I’ll change them or they’ll change because they love me so much or whatever! Hogwash. Relieve yourself of that pipe dream and save yourself a Ton of heartache! Ain’t gonna be happening. People are - who they are. And the significant other - will very seldom be the reason - anyone changes.

Do you find yourself constantly “letting things go” that are said and done - which fall into the category - in your book - of being inappropriate for whatever reason?

If you are holding back because you don’t want to lose this person - please step back and check yourself really hard. Maybe you need to - lose this person! This issues - won’t go away. Whether something is done or said that is not acceptable by you in general, or is just something that you really disagree with in nature - you can and should find a way to - say something that very respectfully shares - that you are of another opinion on the matter. This gives room for both parties to know where the other one stands on the subject and should open the door for discussion and respect to be shown. I think great care needs to be taken in expressing whatever to them, not to challenge them per say, but to not keep your real feelings hidden either. That’s not fair to them or to you. And it’s an opportunity for you to see how you guys can come to the table with conflict or different views. Might as well learn that as early as possible.

What you are looking for here - is “processes and patterns". What are people’s processes/patterns for things? Do they already have in place a system for processing other people’s ideas, feelings, beliefs and opinions? And can anything different from what they feel and believe truly exist in a relationship with them? And can you tolerate their differentness on some issues - into a relationship with "you"?

I find it very refreshing when a person will listen to what I have to say and not immediately jump in with both feet in a counterattack of opinion. I just feel really - listened to and considered. The “open door” feeling is there. Then, if they do have a different view or belief on whatever - they might not necessarily share it there, but will later and not do so in a way that does not challenge me or put me down. It just comes across as simply “sharing” another point of view for - my consideration. This.......is respect.

And a charmer can do this for a time - can give you "this face" - but the key with any charmer - is to keep watching...can they keep this up. Most can't, won't - too much work. They either get what they want or move on. Except for the extremely sick people who love to toy with people over the long haul. They are very twisted people who like to play with their prey before they eat them.

Back to people who speak very quickly and harshly when someone is sharing something very strongly attached to their inner fiber - isn’t showing anything even close to - respect for the other person. And profits them nothing to jump at you and be quick to put you down for anything. If whatever - is a strong opinion of yours and so very close to your heart, then they need to at least show respect for that reason alone. They may not decide to be in a relationship with you, but you don’t slam dunk what a person holds near and dear to them - whatever it is. IF - over time, respect and trust is gained, they might allow you......to share with them another concept or reality, but again - it’s the “over time” issue that’s involved here. Just because you don’t slam dunk someone when you don’t agree with them, doesn’t mean that you are weak in your opinions or that you are condoning anything. It means that you are honoring and respecting another person’s feelings and what their reality is. It actually means that you are a very strong person and don’t have the need to beat someone up in order to make yourself feel superior.

We have so much to learn by allowing an “open door” policy. There are some things that we are set in and that we are not going to change our minds on, true enough. And that’s fine and can be very good. Some things need to be immovable. But, what harm is there in at least showing respect for another person by truly “listening” to them and showing them respect? If we are truly confident in where we stand, we shouldn’t feel threatened at all - by doing this. We have nothing to lose, only gain. At the very least, it really makes the other person feel valued and comfortable. Compromise in the end may not be attainable for a long term relationship on some things, but at least you came to that point with dignity and mutual respect for one another. And even though one or the other might not fully sway over to the other one’s position, at least room could be given for insight and growth, even if you walk away from one another. People think about things down the road, but only if it was presented in a kind and respectful fashion. And we have to realize that we don’t always have the “whole truth” on any given subject. Living life on a scale of being willing to receive and consider new information and critically thinking about it - should never be threatening to anyone that truly wants to learn and grow in this life. Rigidity - shows a great amount of fear operating in someone’s life and quite the opposite of - confidence.

Are you hearing a non-stop onslaught of flattery? Well.....it certainly sounds good. Too good to be true......and it usually is! Sincere people say things they really “mean” and they usually don’t say it “a lot”. They want to make sure they know you take them seriously when they do - arrive there. To say it a lot after that point is no big deal. That’s very sweet actually. But to do that before the pot has boiled here - is not a good sign - at all. What has “real meaning” to it - isn’t said in haste or early on over and over again. To say “I think you are very beautiful or handsome” in the beginning is acceptable. It shows interest and that you are very appealing to them, but to restate that and similar things relentlessly - begins to sound a bit like a salesman in operation. And, that’s usually - exactly what’s going on. A person worth their salt, won’t think that you’d be blown over by a lot of flattery and would rather you’d be impressed with they way they treat you - instead of what they said to you. If you lower your standards - you’ll get what you settle for.

I’ve often found it to be true - that if a woman flatters another woman with compliments all the time - look out! And that has proven true in my life - every time. Woman to woman it - usually means great envy clothed in flattering statements to throw the other woman off guard. Man to a woman - it means - let me shine you on and get what I want because I won’t be in your life long enough to do the “action” part of it "oh how I love you".

Needy women fall for this - hook, line and sinker. If they knew they were truly a beautiful person - they wouldn’t need to be told this over and over again like it was some new fact in the universe. In fact, it would really annoy a healthy person. They’d wonder what was really up here? And having a person tell you they really “love you” after they’ve spent the time getting there is worth all the world and it’s gold - compared to someone who tells you a million times they love you and they don’t even really know you yet. That’s a person - with an “agenda” and you can bet good money - it has nothing to do with who you are, your interests, needs and desires about anything. It’s all about “them” and you’d better run like your butt was on fire!

Is there a general feel of “well being” when you are with the person?

Now, what I’m not talking about here is that feeling of “butterflies” and you just can’t wait until the next time you’re with them. What I mean is - do you feel a sense of comfort? Are you truly able to relax and just be yourself without holding back certain aspects of yourself? And, do you sense that in them as well? First impressions in this realm are very important. Sometimes, we might override a signal that goes off in us and we might re-arrange ourselves in some way to just - get through some situation. Also pay attention to why you feel comfortable. Is it largely comprised of, as I mentioned before, a lot of compliments, followed by a lot of attention and physical activity? Or is it about other things regarding your personhood? Do they pay attention to what is really important to you? Or, are they just pacifying you in order to charm you? What is important to you - will always be important to you and vice versa. Being able to just - be yourself - should be visible right off the bat. If you have to work at it - whaz up?

And how does it go for you - if you have children?

For example, a man dates a woman who has children and just bombards them with all this attention and maybe even gifts, and “oh how cute and wonderful they cute”, but has little patience with them or ignores serious issues like your need to be with them, or attend to whatever concerns them and places “his own need to be with you” as a higher priority. A man who doesn’t respect the parent/child relationship - doesn’t respect - you. Criticism over the way you raise them and strong emphasis on you doing it - his way - is another warning sign that he doesn’t respect you, nor does he have genuine feelings toward your children. He only wants to use them to get to you and will probably be very abusive to them later on. It takes time for a person to “earn the right” to share anything of a critical nature when it comes to how you parent your children. And it is our responsibility to accept nothing less - for us and for the welfare of our children. Pay close attention to the man that wants the child - out of the picture, by either being babysat a lot (because you’re with him) or by driving a wedge between you and your children. If this is the picture you’re getting - then here’s “another child” - you’re going to have to raise. Be very aware of this. It is a rare man or woman that can truly learn to love and care for another person’s children. Know this going in, so that you can really “appreciate” the man that - arrives there by taking the time to develop his own relationship with them, just because - “he cares”.

Is this person willing to meet your friends and your family or is it all the other way around?

Again, we are talking about a one-way relationship and this kind of thing is usually very visible in the beginning. You’re always with their friends and family and excuses are always made as to not being available to be with yours. That’s definitely someone who wants you to come over to his side of everything and deny what is “you”. If someone is sincerely interested in you and values you - they will be very open and eager to meet anyone that has importance in your life. At some point if they just don’t feel comfortable around whoever, that’s understandable and should be received by you as their right to express this and act accordingly. No one is going to mesh or get along with everybody. But, if they just don’t ever want to be around your friends and family at all for the most part and are constantly putting them down in some way - do you really want to put up with this forever? You will, if you allow it in the beginning. A lot of people assume that whatever they have for you in the way of friends or family is just to be “adopted” by you and I think that shows extreme arrogance on their part. Even a bit of snobbery to say the least. Be sure to guard your friendships if you are involved with a person like this and (continue in it) because they will do their best to cut you off from all friends and family. Sometimes people will even superficially be around whoever in order to - put a wedge between them and you. Control freaks are a pain in the rearend. Kick them to the curb and do it like - yesterday.

I hope you heed the warnings and maybe print this out and keep it handy. The things our mothers - should have told us, right?

Sometimes we just get blinded by that swarm of “butterflies”. Keep your butterfly net handy, catch those suckers, put them in a jar for awhile and “think” through what you are really doing. Then your feelings aren’t ruling you. Your mind is. Your heart will follow what your mind has rationally decided, even if you have some dysfunctions going on. We all have our dysfunctions, we just don’t have to be led around by them. If we’ve made mistakes in our relationships, then we need to learn by them, and not keep repeating history. Right? Oh..... and do remember to eventually let the butterflies out. They are important little creatures. (Smile) So very beautiful and they absolutely - have their place. But, so does common sense and wisdom.... Keep that balance and you’ll reward yourself with - a good relationship. It may take time to find, but settling for a frog will just plop you right in the middle of the swamp - time after time. If you think you’re worth more than that - then do something about it.

October 23, 2001
3:59 pm
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pill
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gosh Ladeska...

October 23, 2001
4:05 pm
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Ladeska
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You're welcome, Toots!

October 23, 2001
4:12 pm
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damaged
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I needed to find my book mark!!! LOL
Thanks lots of stuff here to think about.

October 23, 2001
4:53 pm
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ranmar1
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Ladeska,
Where were you a year and a half ago? I could have saved myself a lot of aggravation, and understood what my soon to be ex is going to experience, and why her behavior is what it is. You know, because you have followed my postings.......I truly enjoy the input and postings you are putting out there. As you know, I am carrying around one you posted regarding sealing off the infection of the past.
Thank you........
Randy

October 23, 2001
5:04 pm
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Ladeska
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You're welcome, Randy. You've made such good progress. Very proud of you and your stamina. Isn't easy...

Yeah, I guess you coulda used this, huh? Well...pass it on if you think someone else could benefit from it. Just things I've learned and still have to remind myself. I think we all have to thumbtack stuff to our foreheads....we run off in the bushes and start examining our navels - just because....until pretty soon - we're tippy toes up in the tulip patch somewhere wondering how in the hell did this happen....."again"? Geez, wouldn't know!

So, hey - whatever works. If we have to carry something around with us - write it on the hood of our car or whatever - if it works - who cares? (smile) How are you anyways?

October 23, 2001
8:20 pm
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Alena
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Um, is there a curve on this test???

I think I flunked it 26 years ago...gulp....(smile)

October 23, 2001
8:23 pm
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Alena
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Ladeska, why don't you write a book and go on Oprah's show?? I know you don't care about the material stuff, like royalty and guest appearances, but you sure could reach alot more people.

You are amazing.

God definitely had a plan for you when he helped you survive your youth.

October 23, 2001
10:16 pm
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ranmar1
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I will be the first to volunteer to be your agent. I just don't know if we will be able to handle the demand of your appearances. I am doing great, thanks to everyone and their support. I've been to Hell, and now I'm climbing back out. Thank you Ladeska, Alena, Molly, and everyone.
Randy

October 24, 2001
3:15 am
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malaikau
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What excellent advice! Just coming out of a 4 year relationship I can say that reading this taught me a lot about myself, and a lot about some of the people I've been spending time with. Thank you very much!

Mal

October 24, 2001
6:07 am
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millym
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WOW Ladeska Can i relate to a lot of what you said. You have really givin me food for thought. thank you very much.

October 24, 2001
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Ladeska
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You guys are too much. (smile) Glad to hear this helped you Mal. We need all the help we can get life, don't we? Wish someone had of told me all this a long ago...ugh...

But, we live, we learn and we pass it on...

Glad to see this touched you as well, Millym!

And Randy...you just keep on rollin', my friend!! Lookin' good, lookin' good!!! Take care of those sweethearts of yours, too. Hug them for me..

Funny, but I am working on two books. One is a handbook to sexual abuse survivors and the other one I will keep a secret for now. (smile) But, should be one that will prove most invaluable. Just decided that it was time to give people some weapons against alot of crap I see flying and it's high time I did it on a larger scale. I'm very tired seeing so many people get hurt that would avert disaster, IF they just had the tools and the education of "how". So, will give it my best shot and we'll see what happens...

October 24, 2001
1:15 pm
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ranmar1
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Ladeska,
I want to be the first one to order your second (secret) book, with your autograph. It will definately be invaluable, and I will cherish it forever. Thank you.
You have given me such inspiration and hope, and have truly helped me through my ordeal. I cherish my daughters, and pity their mother for what she has done to herself and everyone around her.
Thank you.......Randy

October 24, 2001
1:32 pm
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Ladeska
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Ya gotta deal, Dude! You know, when you look at people like this...it's like Scott Peck talks about in People of the Lie....they are just so "void". After awhile - they are almost boring because - there is no creative life force going on in them. It's all destructive and they are little by little - imploding because of it.

People like this have signed a contract regarding their life and it pretty much takes a miracle or a very hard brick wall or a combination of the two - to turn them around. Always involved is - their will. But, evil is evil and however we have to do it - at some point when it's very clear where they are walking - we have to snip every string they have attached to us and move very far away from the destruction process or it will consume you as well.

Trouble is - many people like yourself - are so very weak after they have been pelted so badly that to ask them to now have super human strength and fight the good fight - is rather hard to do. But, that's precisely what a person has to do - fight for their lives even though they are on crutches doing it. That's why I'm so brutal sometimes when I see someone going under. You can't always wait until you "feel" better. And the numbing paralysis - will kill you if you're not careful.

You just keep making us all proud. Make tracks and don't look back.

October 24, 2001
4:26 pm
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Molly
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yea yea yea, ditto ditto ditto, and what about the seminars??????????????
love ya babe, ugh maybe this on the counter too?????????? he he ha ha 🙂

October 24, 2001
4:46 pm
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pill
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When and where is this book reading I keep hearing about? :o)

October 24, 2001
4:48 pm
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Ladeska
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..I'm working on it, working on it, slaving, slaving....squirrels are working overtime..

Actually, I've got a ton of writings, just have to organize them, edit, etc., etc. Time consuming....

October 24, 2001
5:14 pm
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pill
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Yeah, yeah... just like most writers... ;o)

October 24, 2001
5:39 pm
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Ladeska
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Yep. Creative people are a strange lot. usually, the story goes that - they are good at creating, but not much good at marketing themselves. Thank God, my boyfriend is a published author and has been a P.R. person before, so he's helping me alot. I need it!

October 24, 2001
5:45 pm
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pill
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Coolio... us artist types need the same kind of help.

October 24, 2001
6:11 pm
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Ladeska
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yeah, it's tough. I can spin and create all day long but when it comes to getting my stuff out there, oh God...

He's pretty balanced with all that though. Is sooo creative...very intelligent, super human being, love him to pieces. We are going to a showing in Hollywood this weekend at an art gallery that is exhibiting his stuff. Pretty cool. He's been working on his paintings now for months. We've been locked up in a primitive rockhouse up in the mountains, but they are done now and ready to sell, show.

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