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someone to understand
May 25, 2007
2:16 pm
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armygirlinwaiting
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September 24, 2010
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i am new to this so it may not be the way it should be written, I too have a big relationship problem I cant seem to get this guy out of my head who i know is bad for me but i just keep going back for more..I met him on line and things went really well we talked all the time(he was in bagdahd) his history he was married and in 1999 he called home on xmas eve to wish his 3yr old daughter and wife m christmas and his wife told him she was preg by someone else need less to say he dv her. then got involed with another women for 5yrs that was just trouble he was in love with her and while he was in bagdahd she sold the house and left him for someone else...he came home in oct(of this yr)2006 anyway we meet and things went great we dated for about 3 mths we spent 4 mths getting to know each other online total 7mths well i think you know whats coming all of a sudden he says that he doesnt know what he wants and needs to spend more time with his daughter. I knew then he was attempting to go back with his x wife we didnt talk for about 3 weeks i broke down and called probably the biggest mistake of my life we have been talking ever since but he is in a full blown relationship with his x and i am now the secret..I cant seem to get away from him and I hurt too much to understand why i am not good enough Why would you go back to someone who would cheat like that(X wife) understand she had the kid and lives with her and his daughter he does not live there but spends alot of time there....I dopnt know what to do

May 25, 2007
2:46 pm
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StronginHim77
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Walk away from this man. Let him go. He is involved with another woman. Nice of him to figure out he still wants his ex, AFTER getting you to fall for him.

This is a dead-end situation for you. You deserve someone who will put you first and be faithful to you. Someone you can rely on and trust.

Initiate "No Contact." Do not take his calls, his text messages or emails. Block him online, so that he cannot "see" or IM you. Cut him out of your life. He has made his choice. Do you really want to give him another shot at hurting you? If you take him back, you will never, ever be SURE of him. And that destroys true intimacy. Real intimacy is based on trust. It would be impossible to trust this man. He sounds very confused and very manipulative. And the three weeks of silence on his part were cruel. Just plain CRUEL.

Keep posting. We are here for you.

- Ma Strong

May 25, 2007
2:55 pm
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sad sack
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September 24, 2010
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Hi and welcome to the site. I think you will find it most helpful in so many ways. People here are so wonderful and wise. You definitely came to the right place.

Okay, back to your situation. I have a feeling that you already know what I am going to say. You asked the question "WHy would he go back to someone (his wife) who would cheat like that?". But isn't that what you are doing? YOu know that his heart is somewhere else yet, you continue to persue him. Why would you settle for someone like that? You should not be questioning his behavior. That is irrelevant here. It is your behavior that has to be challenged. First of all, you didn't really know him all that well. Communicating on-line is simply not the same as communicating in person. You only have been with each other for a very short period of time. And another thing that disturbed me is that you are now considered "the secret". He appears to be using you. Why are you permitting him to treat you like that? These are the questions that you should be addressing. You need to stay away from him. If, eventually, he decides to leave his wife, then perhaps there may be a chance for a relationship (I have to tell you that I am getting bad vibes from this guy, though). Please have enough respect for yourself to stay away from him. I know how hard it is - afterall your feelings for him seem genuine (in your eyes).

I know how harsh all this sounds, but I felt I needed to be honest. Please keep posting and hopefully you will gain some insights into your behavior (not his).

Sad Sack

May 25, 2007
3:57 pm
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armygirlinwaiting
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September 24, 2010
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thank you for advice I have had 2 bad relationships in the past 2 div and my self esteem

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