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someone to talk to
December 31, 2000
12:04 am
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Kim1370
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Hi everybody!
I've read a few postings and everyone seems so nice, maybe you can help me. I'm a bit down in the dumps. Basically, I feel like no one around me is interested in me. My husband has a sucessful business everyone wants to compliment him about, and we have a five month old baby everyone wants to play with, but I'm invisible. I just got back from a visit with both our families. Even my relatives talked to him and sort of forgot about me. I'm starting graduate school next week; I've dreamed about getting my masters and doctorate for years so I'm really excited, but when I mention it people ignore me or give a bland 'thats nice'. I try to be very supportive of everyone else's work, I've given money to help my family and I've thrown a really nice shower for my husband's partner's fiancee, but I dont seem to get any thanks in return. I know I'm not discovering a cure for cancer or anything, but I'm beginning to feel like I don't matter to anyone except as the girl who does the laundry and dishes and cares for the baby when no one else is around. My husband is pretty supportive, but he's so caught up in his company right now. (he at least asks politely what classes I have schedules. He's paying for school without any complaints, so he's supporting me with his actions. I guess I'm tired of being everybody else's cheerleader and getting so little in return.
Could somebody reply to me and let me know I'm worth a few minutes of time? I'm sorry if I'm whiny but I'm beginning to feel like no one can hear me.

December 31, 2000
9:37 am
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janes
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How ARE YOU? What will you be studying in grad school? Are you nervous about baby and school?

Babies and hubbies have a way of taking away the attention we need sometimes and then we feel stupid for feeling like we want attention. You are okay!!

We do for others, as women, and others seem to ignore us. It seems to be a societal thing soemtitmes.

If your hubby is a good guy tell him. And be blunt..."can we have a pay attention to me day?"

Don't let it snowball into a major problem.

And pay attention to yourself!! We look for approval from without and when others don't read our minds about our needs we feel slighted.

schedule your self some "Calgon" moments. Hubby gets the baby you get two hours for a bath and doing your nails without interuption.

Start a journal FOR YOU!!

Exercise, eat right, Be positive.

These seeminly sillly things can change your life. And with grad school and a baby you need to be sure you take car of your inner self.

Happy new year. IT is nice to know there are such bright competent lovely women such as you in the world.

j-

December 31, 2000
11:35 am
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R2D2
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I hear you Kim!! 🙂

You not only should be recognized, you should be applauded! A five-week old baby and graduate school?.....Fantastic! I'm very proud to hear there are young women out there like you, and still, you find time to plan a shower and care for others.

Step back for a minute and look at what you have accomplished.

Sometimes, (and I'm guilty of this), we just get so caught up in our own world that we don't take the time to see what is happening on a daily basis with the people we love. I could kick myself when I see myself doing it. You just reminded me of how I am with the new baby in our family. I'm going to try to be more attentive to the mom and not just the baby. Thanks for the wake-up call.

Janes is right, take some good time for yourself to relax, not study, not the baby, just you. I don't know how you can get people to be more attentive, other than your husband. Just attend to yourself and the rest will come. Most people are appreciative of you I think, they just dont feel the need to show it. They will, when something comes along to open their eyes, like you opened mine.

Be good to yourself, you're doing fine.

January 1, 2001
12:59 pm
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janes
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Kim

How does your new year look?

You special lady...how is it all going?

January 17, 2001
1:26 pm
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pg lova
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Kim,

It'll be all right. I really understand how you feel, but what you must do is to tell these people how you feel. Let them know that you feel that your accomplishments are unnoticed. I've been in your situation to an extent, but mine was with my friends. By explaining to them, it opened up the doors of communication. Chances are that they do not realize that they are doing that so you must speak with them. And remember keep your head up everything will be all right and if you ever need anyone to talk to just e-mail me at [email protected]

Well, God bless and take care of yourself.

January 17, 2001
1:56 pm
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lewis
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Your as important, special & unique as the next person!!!

Congrats 4 asserting yourself!!

It's a shame when others don't recognise your existence, but they miss out on so much, 'getting to know the real you'. I'ts there loss u know, but if something has to be done about it, you've got to express yourself, don't take the 'backseat in life', 'stop whipering start shouting'.

All the best.

January 17, 2001
1:57 pm
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lewis
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oh & kim what's 'shower'?

January 17, 2001
9:12 pm
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Molly
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its just darn hard to compete with a 5 month old baby. Should have left her and gone to a day spa. I swear the thought never occoured to me until they were in their 20's.
What a great start for the new year, smart lady wish I had gone to school when the darlings were little. Sometimes we feel like chopped liver, just part of life I guess, but don't let it turn you into a sour puss, keep that smile and sense of humor, they will come around.

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