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Someone PLEASE ANSWER ME THIS.......
January 2, 2008
3:11 pm
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truthBtold
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.....Where - EXACTLY - is the line to be drawn between foolish pride and the quite sane necessity of self-validation???????

Been struggling with this one for years........

Haven't come up with anything concrete as of yet........

(Don't really know of any "self-help" books (or anything else for that matter) which address this squarely, to my knowledge.)

Comments anyone, please??????

thanks.

tBt

January 2, 2008
3:24 pm
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razor
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OH, thats a good question.
I guess it is different for everyone.
Call it foolish pride or whatever but it has saved my ass more than once. I am very interested to hear what other people have to say about this.

January 2, 2008
3:25 pm
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razor
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OH, thats a good question.
I guess it is different for everyone.
Call it foolish pride or whatever but it has saved my ass more than once. I am very interested to hear what other people have to say about this.

January 2, 2008
3:31 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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I only know after the fact. if I give in or do something for someone or don't say know and I feel angry then once again i've been codependent and low self esteem ish. Occasionally i stay assertive and say no, this is important nad then I feel good. Other times I assert myself quite nastily and later I realize it was just pride.
If someone knows the answer to this question i'd be glad to learn it.

Practice I suppose.

January 2, 2008
3:40 pm
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truthBtold
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razor & TT,

Yes - I guess that practice....and citing actual examples between the two differences is perhaps key here.

Maybe we are on to something here...as we share openly.

My sense is though....once we are able to get to the bottom of it all (if possible)and establish a clear distinction....that it will be a good thing.......a peaceful thing...a thing that will make us all sleep just a little bit better at night - you know?

Thanks everyone for being so open and honest on this one.....

sigh.

January 4, 2008
12:33 pm
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euqcaj
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Maybe,.....

If we think about the action we are going to do, if it comes from our heart,....then whatever the reaction from the other person is,.....it does not matter. We have decided within ourselves if "this" is a good and right thing to do. We do it, or not, and are at peace with it.

It has always bugged me, tremendously, when I have put out so much energy to do nice things for people and they are not appreciative at all. So I have slowed down on some of my giving. But when I do now, I think about what I just posted above. It helps. And for those that are unappreciative, it's really sad. They are in a totally different space and I sure wouldn't want to be there. I feel a sense of sadness for them. But I also don't paddywack after them either anymore. It's their responsibility to become loving adults.

Does that make sense? I hope so.

Jacque

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