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Somebody Stop ME!!!
September 2, 2006
8:31 pm
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santino
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Ok, I hope no one loses any respect for me after this story. So you know my story, ex girfriend left me, I work with her sister, drama,drama drama etc. It's been a little over a month now and the hormones are starting to get a little out of control. Ok so the last couple of days something wierd has been happening, my ex gals sister has really been coming on to me. Shes been making dirty little coments when we are alone. At first I took it as a joke, but lately shes been looking at me diffrent, and today she even made a proposition to me. Wow, I thought to myself, what a crazy little #!$%^. The funny thing is she has always liked me, but when I got with her sister she backed off. Now that she knows it's over she is starting to make passes at me. I feel really vulnerable right now. She is very attractive (Very 🙂 and very seductive. I don't know what to do?! I...I... really don't know what to do?! Somebody Heeelllpp!!!! 🙂

September 2, 2006
10:59 pm
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Randomwomen2
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To me it sounds like trouble hunny. Personaly I woudnt risk more heartache right now.

September 2, 2006
11:07 pm
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mamacinnamon
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sANTINO:

RUN RUN RUN away as fast as you can. This is totally bad news.

September 2, 2006
11:15 pm
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Anonymous
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give it some more time before you get involved with her family again. IF it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Look elsewhere...broaden your social network.

September 3, 2006
12:22 am
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santino
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I'm really trying, but I work so mch, like 50 to 55 hours a wek, my social life is my co-workers. I wish she wouldn't do this right now, cause I don't know how long I can contain myself. I have the urge to call her but I know it's wrong. She told me she'd come over if I asked. It's saturday night, I just came back from a bar and I'm tempted to call. I know I shouldn't, and I know it wouldn't be love like the first time, strictly lust. She promised she wouldn't tell her sister. But I know it's wrong. Funny thing is her sister, my ex, told me this might happend last time we talked. Wierd, maybe she already knows?

September 3, 2006
12:26 am
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Anonymous
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you are an adult, you have choices

September 3, 2006
12:26 am
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Anonymous
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when you make choices, you will deal with consequences

September 3, 2006
12:45 am
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santino
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PL ur right, I know I shouldn't and I know i'd regret it in the morning, to every action there is a reaction, and I know I'd be kicking myself in the morning. Thanx, was a nice thought though 🙂

September 3, 2006
12:46 am
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danity
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many people dont trust their instincts. Actually most people dont. If you feel any kind of wierdness around her....it probably isnt the right thing to do. All it will do is cause more drama and hurt for you. you will be happier in the long run if you dont take any action with her.

September 3, 2006
1:01 am
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santino
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I know you're all right. Common sense v.s. temptation, what a battle. 🙂

September 3, 2006
1:07 am
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santino
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If she was anyone else, this wouldn't even be a discussion, done deal. Typical.

September 3, 2006
2:36 am
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Worried_Dad
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Dude,

Dude,

I'm a guy and I really sympathize. I once was in a situation that reminded me of yours…well more than once. Most guys go through a long period of hormones intensely screwing with our minds. That makes it hard to say “no” to a woman—it’s just not in our DNA. That’s one thing I hate about being a guy.

I see two giant red flags here. The first is the sister thing. With that relationship in the wings, I just don’t see how the woman’s motives can be pure—not even pure lust. I just have a hunch she will end up being not be very nice to you, and in fact might be very, very mean to you.

If she is considering doing her sisters ex without telling her sister, I don’t think she will show much mercy to her sister’s ex, either. Well, it’s just a hunch.

The second red flag is that you work with this woman. What is the statistic?—one half of marriages fail in two years? And those folks are pretty serious. More casual liaisons seem to be even more fragile and short lived, not infrequently ending with hard feelings—sometimes really hard feelings.

If you have an affair with a woman at work who later on for some reason is mad at you, you will be so screwed. Particularly if she does not have a strong sense of fair play and particularly if there is any way you could be construed as “outranking” her at the workplace. You can always go to hell after you die—why rush it?

There is a bright side to this situation. When a man realizes that he needs to turn down a proposition from an attractive woman—and then does it, especially if he can do it with warmth, class and grace, it is a huge piece of growing—make your sexual energy be your servant, not your master. You will be amazed how powerful it makes you feel.

September 3, 2006
2:45 am
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santino
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Worried Dad, thanx, I know you're right. But like you said, it's not in our DNA. 🙂 You said you were in this situation once? What did you do?

September 3, 2006
5:33 am
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cloud nine
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no
no
no
no
keep away from temptation .

September 3, 2006
9:22 am
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realitygirl
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Just say NO! Nothing good can come from that, and it could destroy the sisters relationship.

September 3, 2006
9:47 am
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mamacinnamon
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Santino:

How r u feelin today? Did you remember to take the asprin before you started drinking last night? Hope you were able to stay strong. You will get thru this.

September 3, 2006
9:55 am
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confused as heck
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Don't do it! Especially if you just broke up with the sister. If there has been no one in between it's not a good idea at all. I do know of a case where a guy actually ended up marrying his brother's x girlfriend, but there were a couple years between the break-up and them starting to see each other. The guy talked to his brother before he dated the x and it was ok with him. They had remained friends and had broken up on good terms...they just didn't feel there was a future for them, they were more friends than anything. They are still friends and both happily married, the x to the guys brother and the other guy to someone else.

Give it time, don't jump into anything. If it's meant to be it will happen, but now is not the time. See other people, get yourself back out there. Dating the x's sister now might look as though you are doing it to get back at the x. It may also be the other way too.

September 3, 2006
10:12 am
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santino
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Thanx all, mama I did take the asprin b4, and I feel fine. Thanx for the heads up. And I resisted, I didn't call, I just stayed home and sobered up and went to bed. I'm glad I took all of you're advise not to call. Reality girl, so true, I don't want to be responsible for breaking these girls relationship. I know how I'd feel if my bro started dating my ex. It would put a major dent in our relationship, and I don't want to do this to these girls.

September 3, 2006
11:09 am
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CAMER
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DO A no contact with the sister now...and don't do it!! its not worth it.......with your hormones, can't you just "take care of yourself" (hint hint)??

September 3, 2006
12:24 pm
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santino
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lol

September 4, 2006
4:28 pm
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santino
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I saw her yesterday, and I tried to keep my distants, didn't work, she came up to me to chat we chatted and like clockwork she brought it up again, "you could have had this" I just chuckled and walked away. I wish I could shake the thought of her sister, my ex. Not so I could justify me messing around with her sister, but for me to be able to go through a day without thinking about her. She's in my head 24/7. And it's been over a month with no communication!!

September 4, 2006
4:52 pm
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Anonymous
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Santino

Did you say you are in counseling? If so, have you brought it up with your therapist?

How healthy does it feel to think about another person 24/7, as you claim? Has this happened before with your feelings toward women?

You might want to figure out a way to get control of these thoughts, especially because they involve other people.

I guess that is about all I have left to offer on this subject. I wish you luck.

P&L

September 5, 2006
2:48 pm
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doubleloss
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its all about choices. you have a choice here, don't dilute yourself blaming things on the hormones, I like what worried_dad says:
"
You can always go to hell after you die—why rush it?

—make your sexual energy be your servant, not your master."

coming from a guy nontheless.

if the sister is hitting on you relentlessy you REALLY have to wonder what her intentions are, to me it seems like some sort of game, maybe the family is "testing" you to really see what kind of man you are. Maybe she wants to punish the sister, maybe who knows....from the distance it looks like a big mess just waiting to happen -AND you work together.

Maybe start doing some Tae Boxing to get rid of your energy

September 5, 2006
3:54 pm
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nappy
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Even though santino, I thought that you were stronger than that. I was really happy for you when you finally let go of the girlfriend. And now you are looking at the sister. Don't do it. These are womens that you are talking about. Some play games and you are going to fall right into there trap. Did you say that the ex knows that the sister is going to come on to you. I think that they are going to play a game with you and to really see if you are a weak man. In all that we do in life whether if it is right or wrong, you already knows that we have to suffer the consequences of our action.
You need to think right now. Is it worth me having sex witht his person that I know is wrong for me or Is it worth me losing all that I have right now over a piece of *******. I hope that you make the right decision and if not you will be right back on this thread with a heading "IN A BIG MESS, I NEED HELP". The devil will attack you from all angle and you have to be strong enough to not play the game. There are plenty of woman out there just waiting for a man like you. Not at your work, and especially not someone sister. My first thing would be if I'm willing to lose my job over someone. I don't know about you but I wouldn't care if that person is standing there naked. My job comes first because after she get what she wants, she will be on the prowl again with someone else. I knew plenty of peoples having affair in the job place and one of the other has gotten fired and have lost everything that they have worked for over someone who didn't care about them in the first place, just for lust. The devil is very powerful but god is the greatest.

September 5, 2006
6:00 pm
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santino
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thanx all for the advise, i did the rite thing, i'm staying away, ur all rite, i don't the added drama. thanx

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