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some people are SO RUDE! - How do you handle sarcasm?
September 20, 2006
2:14 pm
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balancesekr
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I am so sick of sarcastic remarks. The world is full of them, all over TV and all over the place it seems the new way to be, is sarcastic.

I just had flowers delivered to me at work. My bf sent them for our 2 year anniversary. They came in a box, with no vase. Kinda unusal. I called my bf and thanked him for the flowers, and I mentioned there was no vase, he seemed kind of surprised.

No BIG DEAL, I didn't want to make a thing about it. I wanted to enjoy the flowers and the moment.

So I come back inside and one of my coworkers is asking why there was no vase, and also says the flowers look damaged, tells me I should let my bf know. I say, NO, that will upset him... and it would. He wanted to do something nice for me. Sure the some of the lilies are kind of brown around the edges... but the roses look beautiful, one of them fell apart.

So she proceeds to say, you should be able to tell him, come on after 2 years. That isn't the point. First of all, shut up, right! I just feel like people feel like they can say whatever they want or something.

I am not sure what to do about it either. Do you confront every person who is an ass and says stupid stuff? And tell them not to do so?

Then some other coworkers start in about how long we've been dating, one said shit or get off the pot already...

I am just floored by how unprofessional and nasty people are at the drop of a hat. It seems second nature to be rude/sarcastic.

I believe we have to pick our battles, and we let people know how to treat us. So, I don't want to just blame myself for the nasty remarks, because it just seems people are just rude. I don't want to seem too uptight, but I am just sick of the joking.
How do you handle this? Anyone?

September 20, 2006
2:23 pm
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ShortCake
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balancesekr,

I stand behind you 100%. The fact that your bf sent you flowers is so wonderful and kind. People can be so rude and judgemental. As for the vase, maybe he just did not think about it... he might have been so happy about just doing the right thing and sending the flowers he forgot the little details.

As for the coworkers talking about how long you have been together. There is no reason to rush anything. The statement shit or get off the pot is silly. Take your time and don't rush.

Next time someone says something dumb or rude about the flowers with no vace, say something like... at least I got flowers. Tell them how much it means you got them in the first place. Your right... people are very judgemental in this world. Keep your head up and remember the kind gesture your bf extended to you.

Have a great day and enjoy!

September 20, 2006
2:28 pm
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lovingmom
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I agree. The fact that you got flowers and you were on his mind today means so much. Who cares if it was one little carnation in an envelope?? Enjoy your flowers and enjoy your day. You deserve it!!

September 20, 2006
2:52 pm
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CAMER
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that co worker was just jealous!! that's why she said what she did. Most people who would be happy for you would say something nice, not something negative! as for the other co workers...hmmmm. they need to stop focusing on picking on you, and focusing on there own lives.....enjoy your flowers and Happy 2 years!!!

September 20, 2006
4:03 pm
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Rasputin
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I agree with Camer. I hear jealousy in that co-worker's comments. A healthy optimistic person sees the cup full and ignores the empty part.

As for the relationship that's none of her business whether it's 2 months or 2 years, it's your life and you have every right to take your time and examine if this relationship is right for you or not.

I have experienced 1st hand Total flat out rudeness and cheeky co-workers at work, so I can very well relate. Most of it is due to jealousy, envy, low self-esteem.

Cheer up, your bf has been very thoughtful to send you flowers, I wish I could have one either!

~Ras~

September 20, 2006
4:47 pm
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taj64
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No vase? Do they always come with vases? Im not sure they always do and besides that is irrelevant anyway. And I would not ruin it for your very thoughtful and kind BF. He took great pleasure to send it to him. Don't let it be spoiled. People are very rude these days. I have had my share lately and Im wondering if it affects me, well it does. Im not feeling as much as I used to feel about the world. But all I can do is let is go for the moment, each act of unpleasantness. Be so grateful for the flowers. I would say you're lucky but not really lucky, just special to someone in this world.

September 20, 2006
6:56 pm
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It's so great you got flowers! You were feeling low on one of the threads I read, so I hope this gave you a much needed perk and some smiles (aside from your coworker's idiotic remarks. she's out of line and getting a little personal.)

Sometimes it's not worth reacting to people like her. I've been in the same situation and it's almost as if those types are LOOKING for you to get upset with them. They want attention for whatever reason. I had a coworker like that and when I go back to use the facility and I see her I can almost bet money that she will slip in an obnoxious comment. It is her nature. So I ignore it, but believe me, I don't get close to her either. Sometimes people like that even say things that hurt you deeply, but after time when you consider the source... sometimes you realize they must have some serious issues to have that much insensitivity towards others.

Just enjoy your gift. I'm glad your bf is thinking of you, you deserve to be treated well...

smiles,
ella

September 20, 2006
8:59 pm
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Juanita
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I agree with the others....

It's wonderful your bf remembered your special day & sent flowers. Don't let your rude co-workers detract from that fact. They are jealous.

What works for one, does not work for everyone. So long as you are happy, that is what counts most.

Ignore them. Don't sink to their level...

Either that or try killing them with kindness. Nothing an unhappy person dislikes to see more than a HAPPY person.

All the best & happy anniversary!

Juanita

September 20, 2006
9:44 pm
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lovetocrochet
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Your relationship is your business alone unless you invite others in on it by asking advice or whatever. Sounds here like they kicked open the door and walked right in to help themselves to whatever you had in the fridge, if you will.

My favorite new trick with sarcastic and rude remarks is letting the offender marinade in their own stupidity. It's very effective.

Recipe for stupidity marinade:

1 cold stare, preferably on ice
1 lengthy silence
1 turn of the heel as you walk away

Combine stare with silence and maintain for at least five seconds. Subsequently mix in turn of heel. Pour over offenders as often as needed. Leave to marinade indefinitely if desired, is especially recommended for those who just don't get it.

September 20, 2006
9:57 pm
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flutechick
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I agree with the others. You got flowers the "sour grapes" didn't. Sometimes the quality isn't there because that's all there is at the time, not your boyfriends fault. I've had that happen when I've bought flowers for people at work with the sincerest intentions and been mortified when they've fallen apart (I certainly didn't intentionally buy defective flowers). Also the vase thing. Big whop. Be creative. That's half the fun!!! I had to spend $11.00 bucks on a yukky vase (above what was donated) because of what others thought...they wouldn't contribute though, nuts to that next time. Enjoy your flowers and let "sad sack" suck it up babeeee.

September 20, 2006
11:02 pm
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Hey balance I am so glad your bf sent you flowers. He values the 2 yrs as much as you do.

People say critical things because of how they feel inside themselves. It sounds like maybe the "tone" of your workplace is a finger-pointing, one-up-manship deal. That is very hard to deal with.

I've been getting alot of "not good enough" feelings from so many people lately, whether it's about how much gets done, or who is not pulling enough weight......and the reality is NO ONE is trying very hard to make things better. I keep praying for the right words and the right actions that "I" can do that might make a difference and shift the downward spiral upwards. Every time I make an effort myself, I usually get a little reward back from someone else.

Are you also feeling that you and your bf should have some sort of more commitment at this point in the relationship? Do the 2 of you talk about it? Maybe you are feeling some of that more than the critical barbs the co-workers were feeling free to throw about.

Yeah, I hate feeling vulnerable to meanness. Especially from total strangers, in traffic, for example!! I think you have to take the little shining light that is the true you inside ....... and turn up the glow (ah how poetic that sounds!).

September 21, 2006
10:16 am
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Rasputin
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Crochet - That was SO FUNNY - the recipe. YOu really had me crack up!!! You really made my day! ~Ras~

September 21, 2006
10:50 am
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balancesekr
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wow, thanks everyone for all your responses 🙂

I just wanted to post quickly and say hello. I am gonna re-read everything later and post back... work is a little crazy right now!

September 25, 2006
9:22 am
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balancesekr
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Hey everyone,

I will definitely have to apply the recipe for stupidity marinade next time someone says something stupid.

I am starting to realize that I have to address the situation when it comes up, and the way to do that is either:
1) do the cold stare thing, and dont say anything
2) say excuse me? gee are you trying to insult me
3) some combination

When I have said something stupid, if someone lets me know that I have violated them in some way, guess what?? I don't do it again.

To answer Brynnie, you asked if maybe I feel there should be some more of a commitment from my bf, the answer is yes and no.

I still struggle with my relationship, wonder if I should walk from it, wonder if he's the one, wonder if I will ever feel right in a relationship. So all the comments people made were thrown on top of all the internal crap I feel inside.

September 25, 2006
12:15 pm
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NOT SHARING your inner feelings with people who are just being high-school snotty.......works.

I'd go with the silent reaction.

If you feel like there's not alot of moving forwards in your 2-yr relationship with him, maybe you have to ask the questions that are the hardest??

Like: What do I want at this point? What do I see happening in 2 more years? What is happening in his head? Are we having any fun anymore?

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