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Sober Still
November 1, 2002
4:16 pm
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Mr. Anonymous
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Just writing to update everyone on my progress. I am currently 15 days sober. It has been very hard, but surrendering my life to the will of God has made a big difference. I still haven't spoken to the counselor about the sexual abuse which continues to impact my life. I guess I'm just not comfortable discussing it with him yet. But, I will get there, I just have to keep working at it and being patient with myself.

At this point in my life, all I can do is accept what happened afterall, there is nothing more that I can do about it. The statute of limitations has run out here. It is 10 years and this happened more than 10 years ago. Actually, I remember the exact date, June 5, 1992.

I guess the hardest thing for me to deal with has been the fact that when it happened, it slightly aroused me (I was young and didn't know what was going on). I talked to my roommate in college & he explained to me that the tissue down there is very sensitive and if you are touched in a certain spot, you'll get aroused whether you like it or not. He said it was an "involuntary reaction." At any rate, I'm working on dealing with it, one day at a time. Each day of sobriety is a blessing.

God Bless

November 1, 2002
4:28 pm
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Alena
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September 24, 2010
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Good for you Mr. Anonymous, I'm soooo happy for your 15 days of sobriety.
You keep on believing in yourself, you're doing great.

And by the way, your roommate is correct so don't beat yourself up over any of that....when you are ready to talk to the counselor about it, you will...go easy on yourself.

November 1, 2002
4:31 pm
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gingerleigh
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Happy vibes coming your way, Mr. A.!

November 1, 2002
4:49 pm
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Cici
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Hi Mr. Anonymous -

You're more than welcome to try out discussing your issues here, from an anonymous (pun inteneded?) standpoint - I know for me, talking it out here was kind of a rehersal for discussing the issue with my husband, and therapists.

Yup - involuntary arousal is actually pretty common. I experienced it myself, and one of my friends who was molested as a child by her step-dad brought this up to me when we were discussing the issue. She was cnofused and ashamed about it as well. I explained the situation to her and told her it was perfectly normal - but that fact has to be internalized.

Do go easy on yourself. Have you tried journaling?

November 1, 2002
5:00 pm
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karoline
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Great suggestions by CiCi!

November 2, 2002
5:07 am
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Squeezles
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Hey...Congrats 🙂 Cheering for you from over here as well 🙂

November 2, 2002
11:03 am
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Anonymous
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way to go Anonymous!!!!! I bet those marbles are really starting to look good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! feels good too I bet!

November 2, 2002
11:11 am
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mossrose
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GReat work!!!!!
No you are not responsible for the abuse, simply because you got aroused. This is the number one reason so many abuse victims dont talk out.

November 4, 2002
5:48 pm
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Mr. Anonymous
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Still sober after 18 days and I know it's due solely to the Rock that is higher than I. Still working though on talking about my issues. Will keep you all updated.

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