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so tired
November 13, 2006
10:09 am
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lostgirl
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i can't seem to figure out who i am. i just divorced a man who was perfect for me. i felt trapped, and i pushed him away. of course i jumped into another unhealthy relationship that's making me obsessive--when that relationship ends, i'll be devastated; i won't know what to do with myself. i'm not interested in work, or in spending time with my friends, and i can't seem to get motivated to do any of the things i used to want out of life. i don't feel like i'm capable of doing any of it. how can i get past this?

November 13, 2006
12:11 pm
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2shy
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Hi lostgirl,

I felt the same way about two years ago. I was completely obsessed over my bf. I could concentrate at work, I abandoned my friends and I just spent so much time obsessing over my unhealthy relationship.

I got through it but seeing a councelor, I read a lot of self help books and I've joined these type of websites. The three methods have helped me a lot. I would begin with finding a good councelor.

You are on the right path.

November 14, 2006
10:33 am
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lostgirl
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Thank you 2shy. I just started seeing a counselor, and it seems to be helping. She suggested some good literature, too. Why is it that I get such a high from any attention he throws my way, and then feel completely devastated when he's too busy for me? I don't know how to be by myself, and that scares me.

November 14, 2006
11:05 am
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atalose
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((((((i just divorced a man who was perfect for me. i felt trapped, and i pushed him away. of course i jumped into another unhealthy relationship that's making me obsessive--when that relationship ends, i'll be devastated;)))))

If he was perfect for you, then why did you say you jumped into ANOTHER UNHEALTHY relationship?
How is this current relationship unhealthy?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 14, 2006
2:18 pm
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lostgirl
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Good point. I suppose I made the marriage unhealthy because I became the relationship, and ultimately felt trapped. I controlled him completely. When I left that relationship, I jumped right into another one, where I became obsessed. We literally spend almost every second together. And when we're not together, we're texting or IMing eachother. But he's not in love with me, and I continue to spend every minute with him because we indulge eachother. We spend money, drink, eat, etc. When it comes down to our core interests, I'm not even sure we have much in common, but I make myself into what he wants. Thankfully he's moving away soon, and I'm hoping I can take that as a cue to find out who I am and why I need other people to feel validated. Can anyone relate?

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