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so tired of feeling this way...
January 30, 2000
8:09 pm
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lazydazy
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Today is one of my lows. I was writing a paper for class on my beliefs and I just couldn't read and process the information written on the paper or even decide on my beliefs. Its like I want everyone to decide for me. It's such an easy task. And all I keep thinking is that I'm going crazy. when people speak, it takes me at least a minute to process what they are saying. I have no attention. The thing that really did it for me is that I cant talk to my boyfriend. I feel like I'm such a burden to him. He told that it's like having a relationship with a cat cause I wont talk to him. I think I've opened up alot considering myself. I want to drop out of school. I feel so worthless right now. My boyfriend keeps telling me, "tell yourself that you CAN do it!". It's not that simple! I think I'm going crazy. Even if for a minute I feel like I can do it, i know my moods, my anxiety, and my fear will stop me later. nobody understands..

January 30, 2000
11:13 pm
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everblue
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September 24, 2010
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hi lazydazy,

I understand what you're going through, and my guess is a lot of people at this site do. You sound like clinical depression. Especially the concentration and the trouble talking to your bf, that sounds just like me a year ago. Do you have a school counselor that you could talk to? Talking will help all by itself, and if you need to try medication or something along those lines they can steer you in the right direction. Please go see someone. Take it from a person who's been there - it will get worse if you just try to ignore it. Depression is an illness just like any other, there is no shame to it. Do what will help you. Good luck.

-everblue

February 4, 2000
11:26 am
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sunflower35
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September 30, 2010
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everblue is right. If it's depression, well you must really see your doctor right away. A right diagnosis leads to the right cure. Who knows, you may not even be suffering from any illness. It's only one of those bad moods we mostly have.
How will you react when you'll learn that your not crazy or ill at all...wouldn't that make your load so much lighter? Go see your doc, all you need is reassurance. Good health and God bless you.

February 4, 2000
12:26 pm
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gst
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September 29, 2010
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Hi lazydazy,

Sorry to hear about your lows It can go that way. I wish my recovery had been in a straight line.

Are you still keeping up with meds? What did your councilor say about it?

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