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so shy
February 7, 2005
7:39 pm
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Big heart
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Is anyone painfully shy? Or know of anyone shy? Im in my late 20's and I have been shy my whole life. I cant stand it, I wish there was a magic pill I could take to rid me of this behavior. When Im around knew people Im super quite. I know people have thought that Im rude, but Im really not. I just feel almost sick if someone I don't know talks to me. If I think about it while someone is talking to me I start to feel my face getting hot and turning red. Then I can't even think and I start to talk a mile a minute wishing the person would just leave. The people that I am closest too are shocked by my personality change. With my friends Im super outgoing, funny and a total extravert. After people get to know me, which is rare and takes forever. They say I should be a comedian or an actress. I wish more than anything to just be myself and this comfortable infront of everyone. Does anyone have any suggestions. Im so shy that sometimes its hard for me to post on this sight. Whats that about?!

February 7, 2005
7:50 pm
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JohnMurphy
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"When Im around knew people Im super quite. I know people have thought that Im rude, but Im really not. I just feel almost sick if someone I don't know talks to me."

You might try being receptive to your feelings in such situations, experiencing them fully as they are, instead of shying away from them. In the process they might even convert from monsters to your best friends.

February 7, 2005
7:54 pm
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CAMER
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start off by just saying Hi to people and then let them start talking, or do small talk with people you know about current events...and the more you start talking with others the easier it gets. Most of all know that you are important and believe in yourself, there is a whole world out there waiting for you.

February 7, 2005
7:55 pm
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art angel
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Big heart-

I am in my early 20s and used to be very shy also. I've gotten past it a little, but still encounter it a bit, so I know where you're coming from. I read somewhere that shy people usually are concerned with what people are thinking of them in public places and such, and usually put too much emphasis on that-- people are, for the most part, mostly self-interested and don't pay attention to others all that much.... I don't know if this helped you, but it helped me see that I was being sort of irrational about things.
Now, I don't really care if I make a mistake in social situations, I just laugh; it doesn't matter what other people think of me, as long as I love myself and am OK with the person I am.

hope you're having a good night

love

art angel

February 7, 2005
7:56 pm
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art angel
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Camer always has great advice too! Love ya Camer! ((((((camer))))))

((((((big heart))))))

February 7, 2005
8:07 pm
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Art angel, thank you. That is exactly what it is. Im afraid that people are judging me. I guess I would rather " shy" away and people not like me for what they think I am then the real me. It really is a fear of mine, my biggest fear actually. But thank you all for your input.

February 7, 2005
8:11 pm
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art angel
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Big heart-

I guess the most important thing to remember is that the people that matter are those who accept you for who you are. Just as you are. So if you are in a social situation and goof up somehow or you feel that someone is judging you, just remember this: those who AREN'T judging you and who don't care if you goof up are the ones who are worth your time. Just open up a little and let some friends in. 🙂

much love,

art angel

February 7, 2005
8:14 pm
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CAMER
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(((thanks Art Angel!!!!))) love you too!!!

Big Heart, gosh i have spent so many years when I was younger always wondering and thinking people were judging me, but alot of this were just demons and negative thoughts floating in my mind. It wasn't until I built up my self confidence, and started saying HI to everyone, some would not say HI back, but who cares!! and then I just started opening up and it was so easy after that, sometimes I think in life its good to face your fears....start believing in YOU and so will the world. And alot of my fears were fears of anticipation, i thought it would be awful to let people know the real me, and then I started talking with others and they got to know me and liked me...and from then on I just opened my world up and am not shy anymore.

Good luck, and keep posting here, it'll help alot with talking and getting to know others without feeling you are being judged, this is a great support group!

(((camer)))

February 7, 2005
8:18 pm
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art angel
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OH!

I just remembered something from a book I recently read called The Four Agreements. One of the four agreements, or "rules", to live by is this:

Don't take anything personally. NOthing others do is because of you. What others do and say is a projection of their own reality. You are never responsible for the actions of others. You are only responsible for you.

It's a really hard thing to do, but it helps if you think about it. It just makes a lot of sense to me.

love

art angel

February 7, 2005
8:35 pm
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Yall are so sweet. I like this sight. Thanks for understanding. Sometimes thats all we need.

-Much love
Big heart

February 7, 2005
8:44 pm
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JohnMurphy
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"It really is a fear of mine, my biggest fear actually."

You might just start by making friends with your 'biggest fear' and receive it, as it is, fully. Then it might become your newly biggest friend.

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