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so lost, life is harder w/o cutting
March 4, 2005
10:00 am
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2shy2share
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September 24, 2010
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im so lost i really feel the need to run away all the time, i just dont know what to do. i have major depression. my family doesnt help all the do is yell and scream all the time. also my grades are terrible, i try my hardest but it doesnt work so i get yelled at for that too. if you didnt read my last post i cut. but i havent in FOREVER which make me really preoud and my close friends that know are really happy for me and proud too. but when i went on vacation with my family to the carribian we went on a boat trip and in front of the whole entire boat about 30 people my mom sarts yelling "JESUS WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING HOW DO YOU DO THAT AND NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK! AND HOW DO YOU THINK IT MAKES OUR FAMILY LOOK" and on and on, and it was like my problems werent about me it was about dishonoring my family.

see i havent cut in a long time she just saw old scares that she thought were new, but i mean theres just so much going on with me right now and i have no one to talk to. i know i can go to my friends but all my close close friends live in diffrent states so i cant run to them. i have no one i could go to and cry were i live and i just dont know what to do! i feel the need to cutt again but i dont want to and its all just making me so sick.

how can i make myself feel better?

March 4, 2005
10:16 am
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Anonymous
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You are right to feel proud for not cutting. You are teaching yourself new ways to cope with your pain. Do you like to write or draw? If so, these are ways to express your pain without hurting yourself.

I'm an "old lady" and I used to cut sometimes even until just recently. The last time I drew a picture about it. It helped me bunches.

Is there someone close to you that you could talk to like a school counselor? They might be able to help you as well.

Hang in there!

Love,

Ren'ai

March 4, 2005
10:28 am
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hey *2shy* - how have you been ?

do you feel the reaction of your parents is part of the problem here?

do they make you feel embarrassed or ashamed about yourself ?

what would you be winning ("gain") by giving in to this need to run away all the time? how do you think that would solve your problems ?

talk to us on this board so you feel heard and all of us can help you stay strong and not cut yourself again

--> you can do it, kiddo <--

March 4, 2005
10:35 am
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jamaicanwife
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Do you keep a journal?

When I feel bad and can't talk to anyone, sometimes it helps to just write it all down, just put all my pain and fear and anger and sadness down on paper. At least some of the time, once I have written it all down, I find that I can think a lot more clearly about the problems I have, and sometimes they don't bother me as much.

I am glad you stopped cutting, and I am sorry that your mother embarrassed you by shouting at you on your vacation. She sounds like she doesn't know how to help you, which must be scary for you. My mother couldn't help me with my problems when I was young either.

It is a good thing that there are other people out there who not only can help you, but want to help you. I am not an American, but other people on this site have said that your school counsellors can help you, and would not have to tell your parents. Ask other people on this site for advice about this; maybe if you can feel sure that you can talk privately you would feel more comfortable sharing your feelings with someone who can help you.

March 4, 2005
11:25 am
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jastypes
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I do have one other suggestion. I think counseling is in order, and maybe you need to be treated for depression. I'm so sorry your mother isn't helping the situation. I'm the mom of a boy who was cutting, and I know I want to do everything I can to help him learn how to deal with his feelings. I've gotten a lot of support through his school social worker. Maybe you could make an appointment to see the school social worker or psychologist. They would probably have other resources for you as well.

Also, you should be very proud you stopped cutting. That is not an easy thing to do. I want to commend you for that.

One last thing. Again, I'm sorry about your mom's reaction. Please know that we, as moms, don't always get this parenting thing right. I hope she comes to understand ways she can help and encourage you, rather than discouring you.

jill

November 3, 2006
2:46 pm
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mumubaby89
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OMG i read what youve been though and it is like what ive been through...smiliar with the whole cutting fmaily and Hoildays problems

November 10, 2006
1:16 pm
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sheila06
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Sweetheart, you can always pray and ask God to help you with your problem and I promise you he will, just go somewhere quiet and talk to him...he's always there and he knows exactly what you're going through. Pray for your family first and foremost. Its not that they dont care, it's just they dont know how to care. Just go up to your mother and father and give them a hug, and see if they hug you back. Try going to your school counselor or get involved in a club at school that comfortable for you. Start making a differnce and your life will change. I can tell you are a strong person and it takes alot for you to go through what you're going through. You can also call a teenage hotline and always speak to someone who will help you and let you know that it is not your fault. Be STRONG be CONFIDENT and LOVE YOURSELF! and you will SUCCEED! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

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