Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
so furious I cannot see straight
March 9, 2008
6:42 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My sister, yet again has food poisoning and is having a hard time taking care of her son and her husband is so unbelievably infuriating that I can't even begin to explain it. I have always been the person who takes care of my sister when she is sick and I have always spent my money well to help take care of her and I HATE HER HUSBAND!!!! This afternoon I got a phone call that she was sick and I offered to fly in and all and her husband was like "what do you have to do that is so important?" I couldn't believe he had the gall to say something like that. Then when he found out that I recently came into a little bit of money he said "hey rich bitch" and when I told him that I was going to have the family reimburse me for the plane tickets to fly out there and help take care of her, he actually had the gall to call me back and say "wait, you are getting the family to reimburse you and you just got 80,000 dollars" and I explained that I didn't have access to any of it until next week but then he said "i don't care, I still want to kick your ass..(chuckle chuckle) and now I am so angry I can't see straight. he has such a problem with people that have money that I can't be around him. I hate him. The last time I was there, when I was singing to my nephew, he just says "why do you always sing like you are some kind of professional opera singer, you're such a loser" and I can't believe some of the other things he has said. i am infuriated. AHHHHHHH

March 9, 2008
7:11 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((hugs)))

You take care of your sister if you choose too. As for him, mouth back and then get a restraining order when he cannot control himself. That way you and sis can have some private peaceful time. I assume this is not the first time your sister has had the food poisoning? Any idea why it is a repeat illness?

Ok, above is a bit out there but sounds good. I still say help your sister if you want and do your best to ignore him or stand up to him. Usually tho if you stand up to folks like him it just makes them worse. Does he treat your sister like this on a regular basis?

March 9, 2008
7:19 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Here is the thing, I don't want to take care of my sister anymore. ITs not that I don't love her, its that she has no friends to help and I live in ny and she lives in chicago. I am always expected to just drop everything and come to her rescue and right now I am trying to start my own business. I can't come now. I have things to do. And they make it seem like nothing I do could possibly be important enough that I can't just drop it and they make it seem like I have no life of my own. Its crap. I told her not to get pregnant again and she didn't listen. I told her she couldn't handle it right now and she didn't listen. I told her that her husband wasn't ready for it and she didn't listen. I told her that financially they couldn't handle it and she didn't listen. I think that is part of the reason she got so sick so easily. But it seems like she is just sickly now that she is married to him. Always run down and always tired. Its like I am being punished because her life sux. I don't want to just cancel the three meetings I have this week. I don't want to have a relationship of guilt trips with her either and that has been what it has become in the last two years. I wish that just once when I see her I didn't have to be the baby sitter or the maid. I wish I could have some time where I just got to be her sister again instead of being her slave.

March 9, 2008
7:48 pm
Avatar
razor
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 140
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have had food poisoning person and so have other people I have known. No one from out of state had to run to the rescue. I puked and whatever and went on.
Can't her husband help her at all?
I don't mean to sound flip but it sounds like they are helpless.

March 9, 2008
8:01 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

her husband in many ways is useless. He can't help with his son because he is an idiot and an asshole. She seems to have started this thing where she just acts so darn pathetic all the time. I mean its non-stop. its like she never has anything positive to say about her life. She has been pushing me to come out to help her for a while now but I just have too much to do. I kept telling her that she couldn't handle getting pregnant now and now that I was right its like I am the one who is being punished. She is in chicago and she hates it there. She is moving to charleston in april so I don't understand why in gods name she thought it was a good time to get pregnant. I think she should have waited until after they moved but she like a dumbass couldn't wait. Its like the only thing that makes her happy is the thought of being a mother and I just can't believe that she thought it made sense to do this now. I am so surprised that my sister has turned into such an idiot and I am so disappointed in her.

March 9, 2008
8:02 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

loverbee:

I am sorry, I did not remember your life, but yes, I do remember a lot of things you have said about your sister and the situation.

My personal opinion? I am w/ razor on this. Don't do. Full recovery for food poisoning is typically 12 to 48 hours so by the time you get there it will be over anyway. Check out food poisoning on medlineplus.com. Maybe send her a copy and tell her "read this... it tells you what to do". Sorry to sound heartless, but it's no fun bein the one expected to pick up the pieces for everyone else's life decisions they made. You didn't make her decisions for her. You deserve your life first. Please think about it.

March 9, 2008
8:09 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am going to be honest, I feel as though she has just become a big baby recently. I mean I know its no fun being sick but she chose to get pregnant and she complains non stop. Then I sit here wondering, then why did you get pregnant now you dummy? I think that the fact that her whole life revolves around her kid and she has no other friends makes it worse. Her and her husband just sit there and complain to eachother every chance they get but they never do anything to go out and make new friends or anything. ITs such a boring life and they chose it. I even told her I thought she would hate chicago and I was right. I told her I thought it was a bad time to get pregnant and I was right. She still sleeps with her 1 year old in her bed and is still nursing (now 13 months) and no matter how much I tell her this is so pathetic and unhealthy for him, she won't listen. She is completely screwing up her child and her marriage and then wonders why she needs help.

March 9, 2008
8:12 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just read your post. I want to empathize w/ you here. My sister decided to play God and had invetro done. No, invetro is not bad, but the way my sister did it was of careless thought and out of pure selfishness.

She was always "babied" because she will ill w/ epilepsy. At 21 she had a brain surgery and it has been gone since. She is now 46ish. Anyway, she has always had what she wanted, when she wanted it, etc. So, she decides she wants to be a single mom and does this against all she was told from me and others.

The babies come 10 weeks early. She is losing it coz in her perfect world she had things all planned out and it didn't go that way. She has just experienced real life. Dad sends me to the city she lives in (on crutches) to bring her home. The first month she was to "recover". I spent nights w/ the twins on the living room floor and mom and ladies from church did the day shift. My sister had nothing to do but play w/ the kids when she wasn't sleeping.

Jump forward 9 years. Yep, they are almost 9 now. Her house is in such disarray that the kids would be taken if anyone saw the mess. She has been on the verge of losing her job for years now. She has been in counseling since the week she returned 9 years ago and nothing seems to change. I have gone over and cleaned her house 3-4 times. Totally cleaned and nice and she won't keep it up. So, I said enough and I keep the twins here now. Well, seems I have them every day and she only works weekends and maybe a day during the week. So, the kids mind me and not her.

I have the crud now and have had for two days. This a.m. she calls and says she is ill also and staying home. No problem except when I awaken and get up to stay up the twins are here. Where is my sister? At her home bein ill. I called and told her come get her kids.

I don't mean to be heartless but this has been a major thorn in tearing my marriage apart, in upsetting my kids coz they are always here (not that I mind coz I'm not goin anywhere). But, today I saw what a "patsy" I am and I stopped it.

Just wanted to share and give you the encouragement to also "stop it". It's not an easy thing to do when your family expects you to do it anyway.

(((((loverbee)))))

March 9, 2008
8:16 pm
Avatar
razor
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 140
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Damn typos

I meant to say I have had food poisoning "before" not "person"

I have had my share of being my sisters safety net and its get very old.

Your sister wants to be a mother and being a mother is the hardest job there is.

March 9, 2008
8:59 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My sister does not have a job, she is a stay at home mom. Which would work if she weren't so sickly. Her husband has a 9-5 job and is home every night and weekend and I just don't understand how it is that hard. I mean I know it is but she acts so pathetic all the time. I told her to get a baby sitter and she won't. She just sits in her problems and does nothing to fix them Every time I am there all she wants to do is take naps and the thing is, the reason she can't leave her little one with a sitter is cause she spoils him so much that if she is in a different room he starts screaming. I mean at 13 months this should be over by now I think.

March 9, 2008
9:08 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Loverbee:

She has made her bed, maybe she should have to lie in it now. Know what I mean? She is NOT gonna be responsible as long as she can whine and she gets attention whether it be good or bad. Just tell her "i'm sorry, deal w/ it". You can still be nice about it. My sister wants mom to come do her laundry and dishes. I'm handicapped and nobody does mine, daughter helps but at 14 what can you expect.

Honestly, read the Codependency No More book. You've probably already read it but refreshers are great reminders of where we should be standing in our own lives.

this is not an easy stand to take. Yes, i know this to be true.

March 9, 2008
9:15 pm
Avatar
razor
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 140
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Your sister sounds so much like mine.

Not too long along she moved out of state to live with her son and I was so happy because I was so tired of trying to help her out when she would not try to help herself.

March 10, 2008
1:41 am
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I decided just not to call and check up on her tonight. Not after what her husband pulled. If he is going to speak to me that way, I won't want to have a thing to do with either of them, Because I can't escape him as long as I am in her life.

March 10, 2008
1:51 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't get this.

I would never ask a family member to come to may aid if I was sick. I asked my mom to come out for the birth of my three children, I needed her. I asked my dad to come out for my first court hearing with my ex husband, where he was going to be kicked out of the house (i was scared).

I can't imagine asking my parents or brothers to fly out because I'm sick.

And I've been pretty sick. We all have. I had surgery and recovered at home, single mom, just me, three kids- the house got trashed and the kids ate what and when they wanted, but we survived.

here's my point: I can't imagine asking somebody I love to drop their life, get on a plane, and come to my aid because I'm sick.

With food poisoning.

When there's a husband there.

Can we say sis is a major drama queen or WHAT?

loverbee, I just don't think it's reasonable for her to even ask you to do this for her, much less expect you to. She's a grown woman.

free

March 10, 2008
9:04 am
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree. My father once said to me "don't tell your sister, but you are so much better at dealing with pain than your sister" and I know this to be true. I agree its totally unreasonable.

March 10, 2008
6:19 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Spoke with my sis today. She was distant and seemed pissed and for the first time, I was pissed back. I just am sick of all this crap. She tried so hard to sound pathetic so I would feel guilty and all it did, for the first time was make me not want to talk to her. i don't care that she doesn't feel good because I know she does it to herself.

March 10, 2008
8:19 pm
Avatar
peacesoul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My question is this, why does she get food poisoning so much?

She's either very unlucky, does not know how to prepare food or it's not food poisoning.

You can't keep running to her rescue. She needs to hurt alone and see what a jerk her husband is all on her own.

My codependence therapist once told me, when you start to change to focus on yourself, the people around you will begin to dislike the changed you b/c they can't manipulate you anymore

March 11, 2008
2:01 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have to say, I don't really understand it either. I think its because it is not always food poisoning. I think that she just takes horrible care of herself. Its like nothing I have ever seen. She barely sleeps she has no friends, she eats take out every night (fast food) its terrible.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
48
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110906
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38534
Posts: 714189
Newest Members:
odin83, sendlv, ViolentFighterBrownCaveman, kbrfDazy, traceyob69, JohnMeave
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer