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So depressed - anyone there?
November 12, 2006
7:53 am
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chardy
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If you have read my previous posts you will know that I left an abusive relationship just over 3 months ago. I left my husband and my home. My H is involved with criminal activities and drugs. I still care very much for my H but can't live with him. I know he had something planned for this weekend and I am so worried, he may be in custody (that's the consequence of what he does) worse than that he could be dead. I feel so anxious, close on panic attacks.

As well as this he gave our 2 rottweiler dogs away and I have missed them so much! Two days ago I bought another Rottie and was told he was 7 months old, he's not, I can see that now, he's much older. He has been ill treated and if he was 7 months old we could get over that but more difficult with an older dog. Could be dangerous. What was I thinking of? He can't replace my lovely dogs. It's like a rebound thing. A relationship breaks up and some people are desperate to replace it quick. I've done the same thing with this dog. I don't know what to do.

Right now I hate my life and I'm so unhappy. All I have left is my business and I am so behind with my work that I will lose that if I don't get on with it.

Chardy

November 12, 2006
10:00 am
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ggfred4
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chardy, saw your post and its title and had to take the time to respond and give you a hug, you need one....I am so afraid of giving advice, but is it a possibility of you returning or getting rid of this dog...right now, you don't need a dog with a problem... It was a rebound thing...kind of glad you didn't go pick up a guy though that was worse...see? it could have been worse!!!!

It is times like these that if you can force yourself, and it will have to be forcing yourself over the hump, and pour any energy you have into the business....your energy will start flowing positively as you see things getting accomplished and you business will do better...but it is that initial force...I am going to make myself...I don't want to feel this way anymore stuff...

I will be checking in and out all day..but I wish you would check back in and let me know how you are doing, okay? Take care...I too am behind on work and am forcing myself to accomplish somethings today and already that is making me feel better, try it...HUGS!!!

November 12, 2006
10:25 am
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cyndra820
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(((Chardy)))

I'm sorry you are so depressed!! Oh, I wish I could offer some words of wisdom.

I know you are worried about your husband, but he makes his own decisions. I applaud you for realizing you can't live with him.

About the dog, did it come from a resuce society? If not I would return it to them and not the people you got him from. A good rescue may be able to find a suitable foster home for him to get him the specialized attention and help he needs.

He may have been a rebound dog, but he can find the help he needs to heal, just like we do.

Chardy, take care of yourself.

Cyndra

November 12, 2006
12:02 pm
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ggfred4
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chardy, thanks for posting on the father thread...it is tearing me up inside and I have been wanting people to post, because I am afraid of what I might say if I do,,,thanks chardy....

November 12, 2006
12:09 pm
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chardy
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Thank gg & Cyndra

I got the dog from a foster home but I don't think it was registered hust a woman who takes in unwanted dogs. Last night I was supposed to be having my grandchildren for the night. Because of the dog my daughter cancelled her plans and I didn't see them. I've lost almost everything, I can't lose them too! I shall have to sort something out with the dog tomorrow.

I haven't heard from my H and I am hoping that no-one got hurt and he is celebrating somewhere.

I am trying to work but just keep on crying, can't think straight.

November 12, 2006
12:20 pm
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ggfred4
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chardy,,,definitely start with the dog...grandchildren come first...plan a makeup day with the grandkids and maybe that will pick up your spirits...

Focus sweetie, tomorrow dog situation, plan grandkid night,,,tackle work today,,,life has got to get better,,,have the aac here for support!!!!

November 12, 2006
12:34 pm
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chardy
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Thanks gg, It doesn't help that I'm so tired, I couldn't sleep last night and I'm not eating. Since I split with my H I have had an ear infection, an eye infection and cystitis plus I fell and cracked my ribs, they still hurt. Sometimes it seems that life was better with him but I made the break and I mustn't think like that.
I will sort the dog out and make it up to my daughter and grandaughters.

Thanks for being there.

November 12, 2006
2:11 pm
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VelvetHeart
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(((chardy)))

Maybe take one thing at a time and focus on that. Thinking about all this at once can be overwhelming, especially when feeling down and depressed. Easier said than done, I know. Please be patient with yourself, try not to beat yourself up. Take a deep breath, try to calm your mind. You're a smart and very capable woman. Keep posting, let it all out, you'll continue to feel better.

Love,
Velvet~

November 12, 2006
2:24 pm
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chardy
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Thanks Velvet, just knowing that I have friends here that I can talk to has helped me get through today. My H called very briefly to say he is alright so that's a relief. I don't agree with what he's doing but I do care about him. Before I met him he had spent most of his life in prison, on and off, for commercial burglary. In the four years we were together he stayed out of trouble. Around four months ago his brother (who is a drug dealer and addict)came to see him and life hasn't been normal since. Probably because of the drugs.

Now i have to deal with the dog. I feel really guilty giving him a home and then sending him away but I have to.

November 12, 2006
2:35 pm
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VelvetHeart
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Yes, a relief for you to know you H is ok, remember that he makes his own decisions right or wrong. It's painful for you to watch him make the wrong decisions but you can't change that, and I know you know that. And you're right, you have to do what you must do regarding the dog. Do you feel safe returning him where you got him? Was he being treated well there? Maybe down the line when you're ready and still want to, look for another dog to welcome into your home. Or maybe the same dog will still be 'waiting' for you. Love to you.

Velvet~

November 12, 2006
4:06 pm
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chardy
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Velvet, this dog isn't right for me it was just that I was told he was 7 months old which would have been great and easy to train, he's not. He keeps jumping up me and I have cracked ribs.

I do know how to train Rotties and had one to one training with a professional trainer. Had no problem with the 2 I had before but this one is very dominant and I believe at least 2/3 years old.

Your right, my H has to make his own decisions and suffer the consequences. I don't know if he did anything last night I just know he planned to.

Thanks for being there Velvet I feel a lot better.

Chardy

November 12, 2006
7:42 pm
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cyndra820
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Hi Chardy,

I don't know where you live, but if you can get in contact with a Rottie Rescue League they would probably take the dog. Don't feel guilty about having to give the dog up. You have to take care of yourself and you need to see your grandchildren.

Someone else can take the dog. If possible I think a rescue society would be better. They usually asses the dog's needs and find a foster home according to those needs.

I have a great many friends who do rescue so I have a little insight on these things. We even have a rescue where I live that takes in dogs that aren't adoptable and lets them live on this huge estate in kennels. They do have human interaction, but dog to dog contact is limited.

Ugh!! I'm rambling!! Someone stop me!!

Love,
Cyndra

November 12, 2006
8:00 pm
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clownface
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Hi Chardy~

Hi, just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I am an animal over too. If you deal with the dog issue tomorrow, things will become clearer for you.

You'll find a good place for the dog and he'll get the medical help he needs.

Things will get better. Hang in there. Here is a big hug for you.
(((CHARDY)))) : )

Love,
Clown~

November 13, 2006
5:57 pm
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chardy
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Thank you all, I found a great home for the dog today. He is on a farm with 200 acres of land. I didn't try taking him back to where I bought him because the woman would only try to pass him off as a 7 month old puppy again and I probably wouldn't get my money back. So it wasan expensive mistake. I was looking for a quick fix and it didn't happen but no harm done and I have learned something from it.

My H has called me today and indicated that something is happening re a job, I told him that I didn't want to know and not to tell me about his activities in the future. He still called me later to say his mobile would be switched off for a while which means he is up to no good. Why did he still have to let me know? I said that I didn't want to! He is still trying to manipulate me, all I have to do is say the word and he will come back to me. In the four years we were together I would have done almost anything to keep him out of trouble. He obviously thinks that I still feel that way and will have hime back but not this time. I shall just avoid his calls.

Thank you all for helping me over the weekend, I feel so much better today.

Chardy

November 13, 2006
6:04 pm
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chardy
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I forgot to add that my daughter and grandaughters visited me after school today and they are coming here for a girlie night and sleepover at the weekend. Life is really looking a lot brighter.
Love to you all

Chardy

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