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slapped in the face
June 2, 2005
8:12 pm
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ACryForHelp
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Don't worry if you have to go through the process of getting over him multiple times.

When I was forced to move back in with my father across the country I wanted to start the healing process with my family and called to tell them that I forgive them for what they Did/Didn't do.

At the time I truly meant it! But a few months later my Aunt told me to "Just get over" my depression and everything came pouring back over me! All the anger, all the hate, all the sadness, all the shame...

I had to start the process all over again.

It's been over TWO YEARS since my Abusive Ex left me and I still feel the same amount of pure HATE and Anger that I had the day I lost my condo, my job, my car, my credit, and almost my life.

I don't know if I will ever stop hateing him... I am just trying to get to the point where the memories will stop controling my life!

Just remember that no matter how long it takes you do have a bright future ahead of you!

You have us to vent to and we have ALL been where you are right now so We understand you!

He's a prick! He's never going to be anything but a prick! But you are a good person and if you let this consume you you will act out and get in trouble and just hop right back into bed with another abuser!

Get some profeshional councling, vent to us, some meds or WHATEVER you need to help you get over this so when you DO meet a good guy you won't sabotage it because of your past!

It will be a long, hard road but it is worth it!

June 2, 2005
9:10 pm
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InPainZHT
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Aces & Spades,

I will say this; not hardly any man over the age of 14 changes. Whatever he did to YOU, he will do to this one, unless she does something and hurts him first. I'll say that if you see him with enough different women, believe it or not, your pain may suddenly go away and you're going to laugh at what you will soon come to realize, one way or the other..... that the pain is going to stop and go away as soon as your find out you didn't lose anything at all, because the man was a big lie, so you never had what you THOUGHT you did to start with.

Right now, you are still going through the process of thinking you lost SOOOO much, that you had everything, or at least, a lot of what you wanted, and it slipped through your fingers and you won't ever have it again.... etc...

My first girlfriend dumped me, cold and hard, leaving me shattered. Through the ensueing 6 or 7 months, she went through about 4 more boyfriends, two of which she got engaged to (and the engagement would end for whatever reason). I realized I never even knew who she was, the pain went away... I didn't lose what I thought I had, see? And this is no B.S... it really eventually works out that way.

I think this is the basis of ALL our relationships in the far past that ended horribly but that we don't care about now. We look back with so much perspective and realize what we THOUGHT was God's gift from heaven turned out to be something horrible that slithered up from the worst, deepest nether-regions of Hell itself.

InPain

June 3, 2005
3:42 pm
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sdesigns
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Aces: Haven't seen you around today. Hope you're feeling better. SD

June 6, 2005
1:03 pm
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DTEE
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Aces....... How are you today? I hope you had a good weekend. Let me know how things are going. look forward to hearing from you.

June 6, 2005
1:07 pm
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Anonymous
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I am alright, doing alright so far for what I am doing in my life. I really think I just need to take a large break from men for awhile. It most likely will be very good for me.

How was your weekend?

June 6, 2005
2:19 pm
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DTEE
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Its good to hear from you. A break would probably do you good. I know it has done me a world of good. My weekend was pretty good. I went to see The Longest Yard w/ my kids watched a few of my sons baseball games and went to the local fun park yesterday....... What did you do this weekend?

June 6, 2005
2:28 pm
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Anonymous
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Got in trouble. Of course, but other than that, studied, slept, cleaned, same old same old. I think I am getting old.

June 6, 2005
2:39 pm
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DTEE
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Got in trouble for what? And your not getting old. Remember I am the one that old.

June 6, 2005
2:46 pm
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Anonymous
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ha ha, I got myself into trouble in getting a crush on a married guy. And yeah you are older, I don't say that qualifies you as being OLD though.

June 6, 2005
2:49 pm
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Cici
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Oh, aces. I know how I felt when I saw my ex on New Years with his new GF and it made me so upset I walked up to him and punched him in the throat! ACK!

I'm glad to see things are finally changing for you. In a while it will be better...you'll see. Great things are in your future.

love,
c

June 6, 2005
2:51 pm
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DTEE
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Is this a new guy?

Live my life if you want to know what old is:)

June 6, 2005
3:38 pm
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Anonymous
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yeah a newer guy, not the new guy. i met this guy at the bar this weekend, with his wife none the less.

I still miss jack, but now I feel more cold and distant to him. Like I know it is over for good this time so I can start to close off that part of me. I hate the fact that she was pretty though.

Ick.

June 6, 2005
4:30 pm
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DTEE
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He was w/ you.....so you know he has good taste. Before you know it you will be past this w/ him. Just stay busy, strong etc. He is the one that is losing something not you. let me know if there is anything I can do to help......Hang in there

June 6, 2005
6:04 pm
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Anonymous
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Thanks friend, you truly are a great person and always there for me. I hope I am there for you, when you need it as well. Or that you come to me.

June 6, 2005
6:35 pm
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DTEE
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No need to thank me.....Thats why we are here. Its nice to know I have someone to go to if I need it. Have a good evening.

June 7, 2005
6:54 am
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Liamo
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Hi. Been there, done that all of it. How do you cope when you have been with someone who treated you badly, ended it, and then left you to feel like it was all your fault. My ex has left me feeling like it this If I been MORE CO-DEPENDENT it would have worked and we would still be together.Sometimes I have to stop myself calling him and apologise for making him mad, cos I wouldn't let him treat me any worse.Any views??

June 8, 2005
7:46 am
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Becoming Stronger
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Aces,

I have also been through the same bad treatment w/ my X, he treated me like crap to..and I often wonder how I would react if I saw him again..if I saw him w/ a new g/f I would probably feel the same way as you, but like everyone else has been saying he will just treat her and any other g/f he has the same way, that's why those kind of guys never can stay in a relationship and always keep moving onto the next victim, they are just sooo messed up and twisted in the brain...my x told me before that he was twisted and boy how I wish I would have listened sooner to that, but live n learn...I still have my sad, low, pity days, but I am getting better, I guess I just had enough of his BS and always had friends telling me I deserve better, and that he never deserved me, which is the same for you..he never deserved you and you will find a good person who will..

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