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six days have gone by
February 20, 2005
12:12 am
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tenderheart
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And I am still staying strong. It has been raining everyday and I know he has no where to go. I feel a little bad but I have to remind myself about how he makes me feel when he is here. I am posting so that the next time he calls I won't give in. I was thinking of not answering his calls. Basically even though I am appearing strong there is a bit of weakness too. I just wanted to write out my feelings. Thanks.

February 20, 2005
12:44 am
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on my way
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Hi, I have been where you are...for a few years..(takes me a long time to catch on sometimes!!) I know the hurt, the confusion, the pain of it all. It took me for ever to let go of holding on. Just remember, as I read your response to the Women of Faith thread I posted, that God is your refuge. For me, I made this person my reason for being happy, my reason for doing everything, until I realized that I knew who had to be first in my life,,,for anything to work for me, that is God. He gets very jealous when we make others our reason for living. Him first, and all else falls into place. Sounds hard, but it is easy, adn the results are even easier. One of the speakers at the conference, Julia Shepherd shared how she met here husband...she was already a Christian, met him, he was not. She said God asked her if she had enough faith to bring her someone much better. She told God yes she did, and went back to this man and told him, Jesus is more important to me...you have to go. One year later he called her and he said, "I've got it! I now know what you were talking about!! I gave my life to Jesus Christ!" They were married. She then said...I relaized that God had to get me out of the way to bring him to the Lord."

So we never know, who God will bring or when or why...for me personally, I still love the man I dated, he is an awesome man, but the same could be true...maybe God needs him alone for ahwil, or at least without me...or God will bring me someone else.

So hang in there, keep your faith..

February 20, 2005
8:26 am
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CAMER
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Tender, i am so glad at how strong and focused you are staying, that's great.....and I am on my #6 day of no contact, I actually "ended" my relationship, and I know that there is no turning back now.

Keep posting here, know that HE will survive on his own for now.

You are strong!!! you really are!!!!!

((camer)))

February 20, 2005
9:26 am
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Anonymous
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Tender and Camer,

Thank you for your stregth. I am in a no contact situation too. I have just finished with him (I hope) - it's been 5 days and my thoughts and hopes are with you.

I'll try to remain with the strength you have.
Thank you.

February 20, 2005
9:26 am
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Anonymous
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Tender and Camer,

Thank you for your stregth. I am in a no contact situation too. I have just finished with him (I hope) - it's been 5 days and my thoughts and hopes are with you.

I'll try to remain with the strength you have.
Thank you.

February 20, 2005
6:26 pm
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tenderheart
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Thanks on my way I am inspired by those who have allowed God to show them the way. I know our "way" seems most often the easier way but it often leads us in the wrong direction. He did call, but only to pick up clothes in which I met him at the train station. As much as I wanted to just give in and tell him to come home. I didn't nor did he ask. I know this is the right thing. I am getting a better understanding of what I want and need. I will continue to pray for him. And I will continue to look out for me and my kids. Less needy and comfortable with being by myself. Thanks to camer and faith, I know you both have made the right decisions and you both may have contemplated for awhile about breaking it off. But remember why it is you wanted this break and I believe that will help you get through it. It helps me to stay focused. God Bless !!

February 22, 2005
2:50 pm
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Anonymous
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I will try and remember tender the reasons I'm out of it. He's going away for a week next Monday - will all his drinking buddies and I've just sold my apartment and could be moving home very quickly...maybe it's a new start for me and my daughter. I've got a bit to look forward to at the moment.
God bless you too!.

February 22, 2005
4:08 pm
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tenderheart
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You also have a daughter.. Make her your priority. I have a son and daughter who need me. It is because of them I am working on my 8th day. Keep posting. Do it for yourself and for her. One day at time. As it has been told tomorrow is promised to no one. So live today and be proud. -tenderheart

February 23, 2005
1:06 pm
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wink
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I, too, am in the same boat. It is day # 5 for me this time around. I have a 13-year-old daughter who deserves to see mom get treated nicely for a change, and not to get the crumbs. I am holding off "calling him", even though my gut feeling is to do so just to be nosey and see what he's been up to. But I already know how that scene would end, so I am holding it back.

February 23, 2005
4:08 pm
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tenderheart
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Wink - I know that weakness. It is now 9days and I see my faults. Meaning it is during this time of seperation I try to find reasons on why I shouldn't let go. I make up things that cloud the reality of who this man really is. Before I would take him back - forgive him for almost choking me to death and all the put downs and start over only to find out he is still the same person. He needs an overhaul of change in his life and it may take years before he could be the man I need him to be.

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