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sister in law controls my husband, he can't say no.
August 2, 2005
12:27 pm
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Bojangales
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September 29, 2010
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I need help with not ordering my husband and thinking for him. I always know what is right. I think I am always right and he does not know what to do. I am not fond of my sister in law. She is an alchoholic, who free loads off the family. My husband can't say no to her. It drives me crazy. I am obsessed with it. I want control.

August 2, 2005
1:02 pm
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Worried_Dad
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September 24, 2010
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The title of your thread says your sister in law controls your husband. But your posts suggests that you are the one with power and control issues.

Presumably, you know that you are not really "always right."

Presumably you know that you don't have the right to "order" your husband to do anything.

Presumably you know when you say you "want control" that if you are speaking of "controlling" your husband you are saying that you want to abuse him.

In order to be healthy and happy, we need to be respected by those who are close to us. We need to have our autonomy supported by our loved ones.

The way to support your husband in his relationship with his sister is to first make sure that you are treating your husband with respect and honoring his basic dignity as a human being.

Everyone wants to have some personal power and ability to influence what is going on in their lives and relationships. The trick is to make absolutely sure that your expectations are reasonable, that you use fair means of getting what you want, and that you understand that you can't always, and shouldn't always get what you want. What other people think, feel, want and need is also important.

August 3, 2005
12:35 pm
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Bojangales
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Thanks for you advice I do understand what you are saying. I never thought of controllng my husband was abusing my husband. But it makes sense. I remember my father controlling my life and how it felt abusive towards me. I just need to let him live his life and support him in any way. He does that with me. i just never noticed it before. Thank you for waking me up. I appreciate it. I think if I do this I will feel better and so will he.

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