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Single 4ever?
October 21, 2001
10:23 am
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lewis
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September 30, 2010
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I,m 29!!!!
I've never been able to have a serious relationship. When I meet some-one new I feel like my personality goes one step backwards, I feel so scared when i meet new people, one minute I think there great, the next they make me feel sick!?

Most people around me are concerned for me, because they don't want me to be alone and not share my life. Neither do I, but recently I 've started to feel socialy presurized to become a couple. To fit, to feel normal etc.

I really do want to get to know somebody well and let them know me too. But I feel so panicky?

I've meet men who are not suitable, and thet have issues and I feel that I have been attracted to there sadness because I have been tryig trying to understand my own?

My self esteem as been low and fel that recently on low ebb I have given people chance whom really are not a healthy choice.

What I'm asking is that I cannot keep my self to my own bubble, I'd like to share, but I find it all so hard??

October 21, 2001
2:04 pm
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ejk
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September 30, 2010
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Go to CODA-
Who are you? Do you know who you are and what you like to do/see/hear?

DO what you love and you will find or not find someone- is it really important.

October 21, 2001
8:00 pm
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Alena
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September 24, 2010
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Lewis, there are worse things in life than being single.

Do you think maybe just because you feel such pressure to connect with someone, you're getting nervous and sick at the prospect?

If you can, I think you just need to relax and let people flow into your life with no pressure on yourself to find the "right" one. Like EJK said,
either you will or will not find someone, it's not written in stone somewhere that you better find somebody. And in my experience, it usually happpens when you don't expect it. Many of us go through a divorce or two finding the "right" one, get my drift?

Lots of people are couples, doesn't mean they are happy. Try to find something in your life that makes you happy. Don't waste anytime agonizing or getting sick over finding someone. Friends, pets, family, clubs, church, hobbies, they all work well at keeping you from being lonely. In the time that you are alone, you don't have to be lonely. I've spent many a night with my other half, feeling lonely. There are no guarantees Lewis, just relax and forget what others want you to do, be happy with yourself, chances are pretty good then that people will gravitate towards you because you are good to be around. Sound possible?

And anyway, marriage is highly overrated. 🙂

October 22, 2001
4:15 pm
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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AGREED!

Learning to be happy by yourself and with yourself is one of the greatest accomplishments a human being can attain. Consider this a wonderful opportunity to persue this goal, because it's about 5,000 times more complicated when you are in a couple.

Listen, as my Mom always says, "The grass is always greener over the septic tank."

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