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Silent treatment
February 20, 2001
12:58 pm
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judy
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I have a family member who likes to pout when she doesn't get her way. She has given my entire family the silent treatment on several occassions. My husband and I have made extra efforts not to let her get away with it by going out of our way to visit and be nice. She told another family members she has been told by me not to talk and this is in no way true. Well I finally gave up and just let her ignore us. Recently she got the whole family blaming me. I don't know what to do. This really hurts the children because she has not been a part of their lives much at all in the past year. She made no attempt to see them during the holidays so my husband made sure he took them to se her. She makes rude remarks about her family being to busy to make time for her when we are around. She has never come to visit us or made any attempt to be involved in our lives. But she has on several occassions made excuses for why we are not at family functions (We were not told about}. Should I just let her pout? I have told other people these things are just not true, but they refuse to believe me.

February 20, 2001
3:47 pm
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Cici
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You can only control your own behavior. Let her pout.

February 20, 2001
3:54 pm
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Frustrated
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judy,

Seems to me you've tried hard enough. She's just looking for sympathy and you all are giving in by continuously going out of your way. Let her pout and tell her you're gonna stop going out of your way to see her if she won't meet you half way (coming over, being in your life). In other words, let her know you love her but you're gonna stop catering to her every whim.

February 20, 2001
7:24 pm
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Molly
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If no one pays attention she will give in sooner or later, its a behavior that has always worked for her in the past. Ignore her.

February 24, 2001
6:11 pm
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janes
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I personally wouldn't call it pouting. I agree that you can't control her behavior only your own..but if she is telling tales about things amke sure the rest o the family has the whole story.

And ignore her in the process. Make sure she knows...on paper and keep a copy, that she is always welcome to visit and you care about her but aren't going to buy into her dysfunctional program any longer.

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