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*sigh* loneliness
September 3, 2005
1:49 am
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ianandris
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It's 11:30 and noone is around. My cousins are asleep, and I'm just aching. You know that transitional period that begins at fourteen and lasts until you're married, where your friends become your family, psychologically speaking? Well, I'm there, and I'm feeling like an orphan. There is no more empty feeling than that of being utterly, completely alone. I feel like I'm writing to myself. Even though I know you are all there, it just doesn't seem real. *sigh* It's not a hopless sigh, just a tired one. I know that things will work out, but you really begin to wonder when. In the meantime, I guess I just have to hurt...

September 3, 2005
2:04 am
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you have friends you consider like family? isn't that good?

loneliness is very painful, and it seems there is not much you can do to change that feeling at times. Even when I hang out with people, I go home feeling so lonely. I stopped going to support groups because it would make me feel worse to talk to people and be around them. I don't know what my problem is. It has to be more than depression. Loss of hope just about sums it up. And missing certain people.

When i post here, sometimes it makes me feel more lonely. So I know how you feel.

What more is going on?

hugs,
ella

September 3, 2005
2:18 am
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Neshema
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Hi, Ian & Ella-

I know what ya mean. Hugs, Nesh

September 3, 2005
2:24 am
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Hi Nesh...

September 3, 2005
3:03 am
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Neshema
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hiya ella- I just posted a really long-winded response to someone..yikes. I really cannot believe when people come in here and diagnose people they don't even know.

I hope you two are feeling better.

September 3, 2005
3:14 am
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Neshema-

Yeah, only a professional is capable of giving an accurate diagnosis- and some of them can't even get it right the first time (or ever). I don't think this site is intended as a substitute for professional help. I agree with you on that one.

September 3, 2005
3:18 am
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Neshema
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well, I am still sorting out my idea about "Sharing...: a thought by Nesh" I forgot what I called it. I wonder what you think

September 3, 2005
2:52 pm
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Matteo
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Neshema, post it, it might start an interesting discussion. I have deep aversion towards categorizing, diagnosing, boxing and labeling, which although might be helpful at times, in many cases might be also very damaging. Perhaps for some, including some professionals, it is easier to understand the world around by doing so. It could also make life easier for them; at the same time it might not be helpful to the people subjected to it. Looking deeply into anyone psyche, it would be most probably possible to diagnose just about anyone with some kind of disorder, because nobody is perfect, and nobody’s life is perfect. I would be very, very careful.

September 3, 2005
5:21 pm
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ianandris
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I know what you mean, Ella. It's a tough one. You know, they really ought to make a support group where people just go and hold each other. No words necessary. No names, just a place where people alone and hurting can go and feel real for at least a few minutes. Words, though spoken with the best intent, just don't do the trick sometimes. I guess, like you said, it's just missing certain people. My mother died when I was fifteen. I'm twenty two now, and more and more I think I've been longing for a mom (I didn't realize that until I was writing this). The last time I felt "mothered" was when I was about ten. The years after that were marked by a deep rift between me and my mother and then, out of the blue, she got leukimia, was hospitalized for a year, and then, like morning dew, was gone. I don't have any grandmothers. They both died. I do have a step mother, but she's only twelve years older than I am. So I'm just feeling a little empty. I think a girlfriend would fill that gap nicely, but I am simply terrible with women (people in general, really, women in particular. I have a terrible time creating relationships. I have plenty of acquaintances). And so, that is why I'm lonely. No moms. No girlfriends. I have a sister, but she's getting married. So, all I can do is sigh. *sigh*

September 4, 2005
9:40 am
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Dear ianandris,

I wish I could hug you. It's not fair to be without your mom. I was 17 when my mom died, but she got sick the first time when I was 13.
My husband also lost his mom in his teens -- we really understood each other when we first met.

Have you ever read I'm OK You're OK by Thomas Harris? I think it's a simplistic introduction to transactional analysis (?) -- sorry if I'm not remembering right -- I think it's that idea that within each of us is a child, an adult, and a parent. I remember being able to use that idea and actually could "comfort" the child in me.

Just recently, my son said he could remember once when he was little he "faked" being hurt a little longer one time just because he was getting comforted, and it just felt so good, and he didn't want it to end just yet.

When my sister got married I felt a little abandoned too. I think I will miss my mother always, but can no longer remember her face.

Point: you are not alone.

And, just imagining that support group with no "words".........well, someone would manage to "look" at someone else wrong then, don't you think? :0

September 4, 2005
9:40 am
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Dear ianandris,

I wish I could hug you. It's not fair to be without your mom. I was 17 when my mom died, but she got sick the first time when I was 13.
My husband also lost his mom in his teens -- we really understood each other when we first met.

Have you ever read I'm OK You're OK by Thomas Harris? I think it's a simplistic introduction to transactional analysis (?) -- sorry if I'm not remembering right -- I think it's that idea that within each of us is a child, an adult, and a parent. I remember being able to use that idea and actually could "comfort" the child in me.

Just recently, my son said he could remember once when he was little he "faked" being hurt a little longer one time just because he was getting comforted, and it just felt so good, and he didn't want it to end just yet.

When my sister got married I felt a little abandoned too. I think I will miss my mother always, but can no longer remember her face.

Point: you are not alone.

And, just imagining that support group with no "words".........well, someone would manage to "look" at someone else wrong then, don't you think? :0

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