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shy
April 12, 2000
8:20 pm
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kbell
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I am really shy and am scared to say things to people, friends, classmates, etc. for fear of getting ridiculed or humiliated. I also think i have low self-esteem. I have always been pretty shy, I am now 20 and it seems to get worse as I get older. Could counseling help me?

April 12, 2000
9:05 pm
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chris-tina
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Counseling has helped me in so many ways!!! I understand how you feel. I'm 20 also, and over the past few years felt my life going down hill. Before I started counseling, my self esteem was so low, it. . . well, I guess I didn't really have any at all. Being able to talk to someone about and explore ways to improve it has changed my life. Taking some action to improve my life has made all of the difference. There is no one thing that you can do to "fix" everything, and it is important to remember that by going to counseling won't instantly fix everything. I got very frusterated after the first few weeks when things weren't much better. But, it is an excellent place to work from. And, it can help you inentify many more. I applaud you for taking that first step and admitting that you might need help. Now, take the next step and help yourself. Good Luck!

April 13, 2000
6:41 am
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janes
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Have you been ridculed and teased? If you have thenyour feelings of shyness may not be all wrong. But if your shyness keeps you from a "normal daily routine" then seek the help of a counselor. Read the literature on shyness too.

good luck

April 13, 2000
7:10 am
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hazza
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kbell,
good luck, remember you are at the age where you are starting to find yourself. don't beat yourself up for being shy, this is the starting point to beoming the confident happy you that you can be. Christina is right, take the next step, you will be glad you did.
Hazza

April 13, 2000
8:38 am
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Cici
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kbell,

I used to be very shy, and would lament the fact that I thought I would be so forever. I had a lot of anxiety problems a lot of the time, I was afraid of the simplest social settings.

But I think mine was realated to generalized anxiety which I developed due to rape trauma. Interestingly, there's another anxiet disorder called "social anxiety disorder." It involves an intense dislike or fear of social situations, fear of being ridiculed, that kindof thing. Of course, this can only be diagnosed by a primary care physician or a psychiatrist, but there's actually a medication out specifically for this purpose called Buspar. I don't know anyonewho takes it, but it supposed works in a way that doesn't make you as drowsy as xanax or valium.

Being evaluated by a psychological health specialist is an important first step. If you feel unhappy with the quality of your life, you nee to take action to make it better. Good luck!

April 13, 2000
11:52 am
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soos
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kbell--I take buspar, and it's a lovely thing! I highly recommend a diagnostic trip to an MD, and getting this prescription. Also somewhere on this sight you can research the meds, and read more about it.Bests!

April 15, 2000
11:10 pm
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ions
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i find myself quite shy as well. the hardest part is leaving my house or getting to the scene of social interaction. once i am there i am fine as long as i do not have to speak to the opposite sex. as soon as i have to speak to girls i grasp for topics of conversation. even if i do not find them attractive! but when i am attracted to them i might as well be put in a jar because i become jelly.
as for SAD or social anxiety disorder, i was diagnosed with that as well as depression and given paxil to battle it. i took the paxil for 4 months and quit because it was doing nothing for me and was expensive.
1 little trick i have learned to keep me from being shy is to remember that everybody uses the can. we all have to sit down to use the washroom. its my equalizer so to speak. but quite often i forget to use it and place peoples value above my own

April 18, 2000
7:44 am
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hazza
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Hi Ions,
with the anxiety disorders it always helps to keep reminding yourself,
"this is my anxiety telling me this, not reality"
this really helps me when I have to go out, i keep having all these negative thoughts and have to counteract them all the time. With practice it gets easier.
remember, most people are self concious when meeting new people, just some people can hide it quite well. I do when i meet people, i can appear very extrovert, but i am just the same as everyone else,- good at some things bad at others!
also remember, most girls love shy men!!!:)
Peace
Hazza

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