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Should I stop??
October 3, 2006
10:56 am
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dee1
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I ve been seeing a counsellor for the last 4-5 months. I came out of a 5 and a half year relationship last Christmas and realised I am quite codependent . I thought she was helping me but last week at the very end of the session she suggested that maybe I did nt need to see her anymore, that she thought I was very self aware and that maybe if I was entering into a new relationship then I should contact her. Its just she said it so near the end of the session there was no time to discuss it really. Also I dont really feel I discovered what has made me behave the way I have and sometimes wonder is it just all down to yourself at the end of the day. Just looking for some feedback really...not sure what I feel about counselling really, I think this website and peoples advice here has helped me more in a way.

October 3, 2006
11:00 am
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caraway
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dee,

Maybe you should try another therapist? We all have things that we need to work on and it really is your choice to go as often and as long as you want. You may even be able to find a group that would be helpful.

This counsellor may have issues of her on.

Cary

October 3, 2006
11:05 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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do you feel like she helps you week to week?

I would say a counselor knows best.

perhaps one more session to discuss this?...and ask her just what you did here - that you don't feel like you got to the root of the problem.

every counselor has a different technique - some try to find the root cause in your history or family of origin - others just try to "retrain" you how to behave and react and think differently.

Honestly, I like to know where my issues come from - but what's in the past is in the past - and what I really need to do is learn how to interact with people in a more healthy way....and treat my own self better.

So, perhaps she feels you have gotten to that point where you are aware enough to live a healthy lifestyle and when you are ready to date, then she should see you to help guide you and monitor your progress and interaction.

At the end of the day, it IS all up to you - how you react, what you do, how you think and behave....it's all a choice. Some people follow patterns of behaviour learned in childhood, which leads to unhealthy relationships. Once you learn that those patterns are destructive and learn new ones, it is your decision which path to choose every day. It takes alot of effort and awareness and knowledge, but it seems like you may be at that place where the counselor feels you can make wise choices from here on out.

I think this is a good thing....but, just like the child learning to ride a bike, sometimes we don't want the person holding on, to let go.

October 3, 2006
11:58 am
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atalose
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Everything Rising said is so true.

The past is the past; don’t allow yourself to get caught up in searching the past for the why’s. Instead focus on the here and now.
You could spend valuable time looking back at the past when you should be focusing on a new journey in your life today.
I would look into a co-dep meeting in your area, continue reading all you can on the
subject and try and apply some new tools to your daily life.

I have a friend who has been in therapy for 9 years with the same therapist going over the same issues, you should be happy your counselor is telling you to fly on your own for a while.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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