Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
Should I move on or hang in there?
July 31, 2001
9:06 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I posted this message in a different thread but wanted to do a seperate one as well. In breif I have a 3yr old daughter with Roy my ex b/f. We have been together for 9 years. We have a house and we shared a life together. For some ungodly reason I made him leave in May, I do not know what I was going through, perhaps an early mid-life crisis-I turned 30 in April. I am not sure what was happining to me. Now,I am alone and would give the world to have him back in my life, for me and for my daughter. I recently started to see a counsler for the 1st time in my life. I have been diagnosed with major depression and obsession. I was putting my daughter in the car in the middle of the night to drive around to see where Roy may be and I also called the numbers on his cell phone bill to see what girls he is seeing. My heart is broken and I know this is not normal behavior. I also started to go to church because I was having thoughts of suicide. Roy's family loves me, they want me to hang in there because they think everything is going to work themselves out. I have no desire to touch let alone look at another man. I am crazy for Roy and crazy over him. I am very confused about my thought process. I am working with my counsler to make the relationship work, she said 9 years is a long time and maybe he may come back. Roy is very clear he is not intrested in me and that I should move on because he will never come back and give me another chance because I crossed the line and disrespected him by calling those numbers on his cell bill. When I say move on I do not mean with another man, I am not ready for that and I do not think I will ever be-but move on as let him live his life and be happy because I love him so much? I find my self begging to him to give me another chance. If he did, I know I can make him happy, I would continue councling so I can learn to be a better person in our relationship. I would make sure to live my life to make him happy and proud. I took so many things for granted before. I use to complain that he did not do enough around the house. I would give anything to pick up after him right now. I just do not know how to let go of someone I love so very much. HELP- I NEED IT.

July 31, 2001
9:21 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hey sweetie, there were things that were going on, that was the last straw. I think your going through withdrawl, yea even with bad relationships we still crave the familiar. Now you have to ask your self something, BOYFRIEND for 9 years, what was up with that???? Were the numbers girls, ah gee his behavior was less than for you to think he was out doing dirty deeds, right? What else is going on in your life, I mean, I understand the sad ness and getting in the car and all, so you went a little obcessive being all alone with your thoughts but I doubt real strong you should be in a hurry to get this guy back.
His family is one thing they don't have to live with him, and I don't know what demands you made, but he sure hit the road hard and fast, right? Love is wierd, you need so much more, trust, respect, consideration, mutual goals, yada yada yada. So, before you go dragging, or begging the cat back in, think long and hard about what was right and wrong with the relationship. If you were trying to draw boundry lines, and do the typical door mat routine, he will wear boots with spurs next time he wipes his feet, know what I mean? Check out Dr Irenes page, and Oprah.com there is a relationship test on there, and go do something, join a group, you know the usual suggestions, if you are just sitting there crying in your beer or tea, your going to make your self nuts, so get proactive, and vent here.

August 1, 2001
9:57 am
Avatar
Listen...
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know how you feel... the obsessive behavior... you just can't help yourself... it's a feeling of desperation to close the wound, to fill the emptiness... it's enough to drive you mad...

but, you are not alone, you are not alone. with time the feeling passes. when i feel overcome with the sickness, it just grows and i lose control over my mind and my behavior. now i find myself getting a grip on it. a small, tiny voice now whispers "hey... wait... " and then i know i still have my sanity...

i also try to find projects of my own, things only i can accomplish by myself. it helps to spend time on me and my ideas...

I hope you can find peace.

August 6, 2001
10:46 am
Avatar
cal-coen
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am in a similar situation. I'm still in love with my ex and I do the same things as you are doing. The difference is, my ex still hints that he wants to get back with me yet he slags me off and messes me around at every opportunity he gets and he is seeing others and lets me know by flirting with them right in front of me. I don't know how to get myself out of this situation. I'm lost. Just remember, you're not the only one, there are plenty of us out here, you just gotta keep going and working your way through it. One day, hopefully we'll see the light. peace to you.

August 6, 2001
10:54 am
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree with Molly...keep Roy's family but take a good hard look at what your relationship was really like.

If you really want someone to pick up after many of us can mail you our teenagers....they can leave more shit laying around than chickens AND lie and be rude to you too.

When you see your therapist be really honest with yourslef about what this relationship was really like.

If he is saying NO WAY because you called ##'s on his cellphone bill...You don't need him....

And again I agree with Molly...9 years and no wedding...not even a civil one?

You are probly lucky he's gone and hopefully someday down the road will find someone to cherish YOU....and respect you and care for you and about you and stand by you etc etc etc

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
53 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 109387

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38532

Posts: 714177

Newest Members:

vbnifDazy, dbnirfDazy, nfkbyfDazy, leoniaDazy, andrejjpasko2, ivanovtv

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer