Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Should I listen to negative talk about X???
July 25, 2005
11:14 am
Avatar
I C Gold
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Should I listen when people are trying to make me feel better about all of this and say mean things -and probably true if I could see reality-about my X2? I feel like sometimes I should defend him, of course I shouldn't but that's what I feel. Like it's ok for me to talk bad about him because of what he did but not anyone else. This make sense to anybody?

July 25, 2005
11:22 am
Avatar
kc30
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

In the early stages of my breakup, it made me feel worse to hear people put down my husband. I loved him, I wanted our marriage to work out, I was crushed and I missed him terribly.

Even though they meant well, hearing the man i was in love with put down didn't help at all.

Once the anger stage hit though....I had no problem with it at all!

If it hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you could let people know that- that it's just too fresh and raw right now. I'm sure they are just trying to help, so let them know what WOULD be helpful...I find just being validated as a good, loving kind person who deserves to be treated well works for me.

July 25, 2005
11:49 am
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Absolutely not. Take it from someone who has been there done that...don't get family and friends involved...unless you have one or two really good friends You can lean on. Don't go to them for information...don't pull them in to take sides either. I found myself in a horribly difficult situation when I found out that one of our mutual friends had been sabotaging our relationship because he was interested in picking up the pieces for me. LOL!! It made the first three weeks horribly rough for both EX? and I.

You know the situation better than they do..you know him better than they do from an intimate personal side. As I told them, unless it involves the physical harm of either me or anyone in this house, I don't want to know...and then our friend even had the balls to tell me that EX? had threatened me...it wasn't the truth but he had me so confused and believing in him that I almost fell for it. But when I sat back and looked at the picture I realized the best thing I could do was NC with the friend too. I feel much saner now.

July 26, 2005
7:48 am
Avatar
SexySadie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To add to my previous post...you're friends are looking out for you. They may think they have your best interests at heart, but only you know that. I've learned now through the bad experience I went through the last month, just to keep everyone out of it. I do have one friend that I go to...she's my quasi therapist. She's known EX? and I for a few years now and has seen things that led up to what happened between us. I tend to sugar coat the reality because I want to. She won't let me. She reassures me that it wasn't just me when I try to take the blame. BUT SHE NEVER EVER EVER TALKS BADLY ABOUT HIM. She knows I love this man and she respects me for that.

July 26, 2005
5:08 pm
Avatar
nonnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

There is no need to into that kind of stuff - negativity in an already tough situation certainly does not make matters better. Tell them, it makes you feel uncomfortable and leave it at that!
I certainly won't want someone speaking bad of me to others even if it were true. Considerate your first healthy step forward.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
20
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714260
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information