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should i go to my first alcohol party?
September 24, 2002
6:42 am
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Jess for TLC
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Hey guys well by ex (Ben) is having a party and we have being planning it for over a month with alcohol and all of that when his parents aren’t there and there was about 8 of us going and that has changed since then, see the problem we are all under age and we had no one to get the alcohol and my cousin is 17 and she easy can pass for a 18 year old and I asked her about 3 weeks ago and we were going o have about $170.00 worth of alcohol and she fully went crazy because for 8 people that much she said that could get 100people drunk and see I have never got pissed or drunk and I really don’t know how much would get you drunk so she said $70.00 and that is it and Ben said what isn’t much and then we had to work out and cut it down and see my mum wouldn’t let me go and drink no longer sleeping at bens house, so I had to keep it a secret and it has been hard and we had being panning my cousin to get it and take it to bens house and everything well there has being about 2 people dropped out and one is my friends I have known for along time and Shannon didn’t want both of us to go and at the time I was still going because Amanda was getting the alcohol and I really wanted to go because I wanted to try and I wanted to have fun and I had being under a lot of stress and I decided and I was going and we have being panning it and everything and I was going o say to my mum I was sleeping over my friends house and she let me and everything well it was the day before the party and we basically have worked it all out and I was tired and I went to sleep and Shannon woke me up and she said lets have a 3 way with Natasha the girl who was going until she dropped out well they told me that they didn’t want to go became what about if something happens and one of you get hurt and if I end up in hospital they would visit me and I said I wont and that how can you lye to your mum and dad and stuff like that and I was upset and then they said that I don’t have time with them but I have time to go to a party and every just because on Saturday they came over and they wanted me to hang around with them and I didn’t want to and they got angree at me but they said I have time for everyone ells well I have had a big fight with Ben and one of my other friends and I have being around them and then I was going to be with them I cant see all my friends every day and just because they want me to go that also doesn’t mean I want to either. And then Natasha said Ben is only using you for the alcohol and that really upset me because I know he isn’t and I got so angree and then they said you blame all your problems on us and we don’t even have to talk to you and I was getting really angree and I know they are right because that is what Ben said to me when we were having a fight and I’m tiring to fix that but its not gorging o fix that easy and I said don’t bring that into it and than they stated talking about it and then I hung up. I thought about going to the party am I going because of Ben or me and I’m go gin because I want to. And I need to have fun and try things and I know they care for me and they are worried but it I go they would be angree at me and then if I go I get want I want and if I don’t they will be happy and then won’t be either. No matter how I looked at it some one was going to get upset. It was a risk that I took if I went if I ended up in hospital and all of that but I was also warred if I went would they get worried and then tell my mum or some one what is hampering and I was worried about that, I rang Ben and I told him and he said it probably better at the moment to leave if until next week, which I rang up Shannon and Natasha and told them there is no party but didn’t tell them that it could be on next week. Well I don’t know if I should do I wont to go but I also don’t wont anything to happen ether, well does any one have any ideas. Love always Jess xxoxoxo

September 24, 2002
7:19 am
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BeccaUK
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This is a difficult one Jess....it seems you are wnating to explore adulthood as we all do 🙂 on the other hand you are also scared that something bad may happen, either someone getting hurt, getting caught and parents finding out ...is this right??

I was pretty much the same at your age, very scared of dissapointing people, anybody really i would go completely out of my way to make sure i was helpful to everyone and always please everyone...even to go as far that my health was suffering...i hated feeling as if i had let people down. As I have got a little older, im 22 by the way, i have realised that sometimes those feelings are just your consience, and sometimes those feelings are your mind telling you it's not ready for this experience. Letting people down happens, every day in all ways imaginable. But letting people down has to happen for your own good as well.

Only my opinion, but I think you should look down deep inside, decide whether you are ready for this party or not, ready to be drinking, ready to face up if you are caught out, and then make your decision on whether to go or not. You will be making the choice for yourself and sometimes this is a difficult thig to do, but Honey Bun, ever since I sood up and said 'sorry, i'm not coming, i don't think it would be a good idea' I have found i have had more confidence in believing in myself. Not always wondering what other people think of me. It is a good feeling 🙂

Keep talking Hon, you'll get to your solution!

Lots of Love

Becca xxxxx

September 24, 2002
8:34 am
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Anonymous
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I use to drink all the time, i started when i was 14, had my first six pack with my boyfriend and his friend and passed out with both on my boyfriends bed, we were close, nothing sexual went on. I then started drinking more, cause it was fun and it was like, oh i can get away with this and you know it was very very fun!!!But later on, I used it as a social crutch. I could not feel comfortable around others who did not drink to have fun. I later then did not like hanging out with others who did not like to party like me. I am lucky. Cause i could of turned out to be a alcholic. I drank every weekend and got stoned every fri and sat nite for the next twenty years of my life. I seldom drink now, i might have something at xmas or new years or a picnic in the summer, but that is it. I missed out on fun that was not "alcohlic" and i had spent countless sleepless nights sick from the alcohol. I met others who were not healthy for me cause i hang out in bars and i started smoking alot more cause everyone else did. I got sick from it and i then i just got plain sick of my lifestyle, its funny how we can fool ourselves into thinking that what we are doing is not going to hurt us. I think i was a steady drinker for more than 20 years. I am thankful, i do have a liver disease or other alcohol related disease or that no one took advantage of me and hurt me. One guy almost raped me. I am very very lucky, cause i did not become dependent on it and my health did not suffer. It all started with a six pack with two of my best friends, i felt so free and so grown up and i felt as if i were getting back at my parents and i felt good! What i did was hurt myself and only myself, to this day i have trouble fitting into a group that is not drinking, i get timid and shy, and need to have a few to feel ok and be able to talk to people. I never learned how to be around others and get alone very well.
I spent alot more time with others who hang out in bars and some who even dealt drugs and i thank GOD i am alive to even speak about it, of course i won't go into detail what i had experienced on here, but at 14 i should of never seen or heard half the stuff i did. And some bars will let 14 year olds in, happens all the time.

So if you do it, be careful, what seems like innocent fun can turn into alot more down the road, you may just have a few and things will turn out ok and then maybe not, you never know about alcohol and the effect it will have on you till you have that first drink. Be sure your not driving or will be with anyone will be. I know its a house party but it gets tempting to get into a car and go do something later on. And that you have protection if you are sexually active and that you know the people who will be there, i mean really really know them cause the alcohol can affect them and not you in a bad way as well.
Its sort of like russian roulette, you never really know till you do it and then the pattern may be set in for a lifetime. Whatever you do deceide, have fun.

Blessings,
Kimberly

September 25, 2002
3:58 am
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Jess for TLC
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well thaink you guys for your help and kimberly i'm actually 14 i dont have a car which is good and i have just found out the party is tomorrow night. which i'm still not sure to go but i'm decideing i will go i hope everything will be ok, well her is only going to be vodka and rum and that is it. and which it is not that bad and i know everyone there really good. well i hope everytihng goes o. well what is happerign i told my mum that i'm sleeping over my friedns house who is coming to the part and then my couin picks us up and then she gets the alcohol and then she takes us to bens house and then yeah and then we walk to choles when it fished the next moring and then i ring my mum in the afternoon and then she picks me up from chloes house and i hope it works. well wish me luck and i hope it all goes well and i hope we dont get cought or into trubble. well think you for your help. well i got to go bye. love you all.

September 27, 2002
7:49 am
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Jess for TLC
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hey guys i came back from the part, well i took a rick to get cought and everything went well. my mum droped me off at a friedns house and the my cousin was sopose to pick us and and take us to the shops to get food and in to end she got lost and the friends dad droped us at bens house and then my cousin met us there and she took me to the shops and got drinks and chips and stuff like that and she droped me off at bens house and i gave her the reast of the monet to buy 1 bottle of vodka, well she will bring it after 9 well ben had a hole bottle of rum and some scotch and oport and then we has some of that i had the some sameest amont and and thrn we had fun and we didnt do nothig stuped and ananda came and she said one have west coast and they were good so we didnt care and we had no sleep at all and we are all tired and no one knows about it and we got away with it and yeah nothing happend, and i do not regret going. i had fun. well thank you guys for being there

September 27, 2002
8:11 am
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Jess for TLC
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ho i needed to ask you something when you are drunk when some one says something to you about feeling to you does that mean how they really feel towards you, or what.beucase ben was saying stuff like i love you and that i'm his true love and marrage and stuff like that and studff when we were fighting and, i wanted to know wha your drunk do oyu say stuff that is personal but you mean or.

September 27, 2002
9:42 am
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Cici
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Ummmm....I don't know. It really depends. But when you get wasted drunk you can do a lot of stupid things. One woman here in my town laid down in the middle of the road while arguing with her boyfriend and got run over by a truck.

My husband kicked in a plate glass window at a bar. I did a lot of stupid things and said a lot of things that I regret saying, so my usual approach is to just not take them seriously. If they really mean it than they can say it when they're sober, too.

September 27, 2002
10:34 am
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beenthruthat
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I agree with CiCi. When on alcohol, sometimes you can exagerate feelings or just make some things happen, like a euphoric mood or a lousy temper coming out.

I have had occasions when I couldn't even remember what I said or did. (Of course, I was really drunk!)

Don't put Ben on the hook for something he said while intoxicated. You can ask him about it when he's back to normal.

This is also a good reason not to drink too much. A little can relax you, a little too much can make you do something you would regret.

Glad you enjoyed yourself!

September 28, 2002
7:23 am
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Jess for TLC
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well he didnt say anything bad actualy it was he loves me and suff like that and i'm his true love and stuff that when we were fighting and i wanted to know did he mean that if he did well i love him even more, well i sent him an email askign him beucase he said we were goign out when he was drunk and i done know if we are so yeah hopfully i will find out soon well got to go bye. always Jess

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