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Should I Go Back
September 12, 2001
11:19 pm
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airica1
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I have a dilemna. I am a 23 year old beautiful, independent, intelligent mother of one who was scorned by the love of her life. I was in a very serious relationship with a man for 31/2 years. We were living together for 21/2 of those years. I recently gave birth to his son in June of this year. I even moved 2400 miles across the country so he can pursue his employment dream only to find out that he was cheating on me with another woman. This wasn't just an ordinary fling though.. he actually was living a double life.. She was in the picture before me. All of a sudden after 31/2 years of him telling me how much he loved me and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.. he tells me that he really loves the other woman and wants to be with her. He told me that he never loved me.. He was only with me because I was nice and I was the type of person that he wanted her to be. I just don't understand it. How can he sit there and lie to me in my face for 31/2 years?? How can he just push me and his newborn child out of his life like that?? how can he destroy a great relationship over a woman who he claims is psycho?? I just don't understand it.. I know I am beautiful, smart, and I have a great personality.. How can someone just run over me like this. Now after all this time he is calling me back and is all interested in whats going on in my life!! The sad part about this whole thing is the fact that I am still in love with him. I don't know if I want to be the same fool twice. I don't know how to forgive him for the things he has done.. I don't know what to do. In my heart I want to make things work out with him but I don't want to feel stupid for following my heart again and get hurt. Any suggestions??

September 13, 2001
10:55 am
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pam g fu
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September 24, 2010
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People never change. We enable people to do these things to us. I have been there myself and am getting out of a relationship right now that I have given my husband chances and chances time after time to get his act together. You are young and have your child to put before your feelings. If he did it once he would do it again. You deserve the best that this life has to offer, remember God first, your child and then yourself last. Broken hearts can be mended. There is someone out there who is worthy of your love and that of your child's, don't just settle.

September 13, 2001
3:23 pm
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gingerleigh
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Don't go back. Not to say that he can never change, but I doubt he's capable of it. Like you said, he pushed you (someone he wants his "true love" to be "just like") and his own baby out of his life. THAT to me is psycho.

Besides, after all this, could you ever trust again? You don't want that life. Even if things were to seem fine, wouldn't you always wonder? It's not worth it. Put him out where he belongs... with the trash.

September 13, 2001
3:50 pm
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Molly
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With out the emotions, look at him as a man. Then ask if this is the role model you want for your son. How will you ever trust, it takes the slightest thing to trigger those old emotions, you are human, you will never really forget, and doubt the stability of your emotional life, think real hard, and besides what is the rush. Stay where you are, and let him over the test of time prove his worthy ness if your seriously entertaining the thought.

September 13, 2001
3:54 pm
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C-Bear
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Airicia,

I understand your situation because I'm going through a similar one. So be consoled that you aren't alone by any means. Don't go back, don't he doesn't deserve you. You're like me you wanna say no but feelings get in the way. I'm right now having to supress my feelings so that I can see the real deal. My ex-fiancee is just a scandalous little winch who has an alterior motive. People do not change and so you gotta let him go. I'd say move forward, don't go back in fact don't even look back.

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