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Shes not mine but i love her...
January 4, 2006
8:50 pm
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suspiro
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There is a girl i know, she is/was a really good friend and we used to do almost like everything together... I've known her for about two-and-a-half years now and have really liked her for two years. Then about 7 months ago everything in my life went to crap and hasn't been better since. She started going out with my 'enemy' and so far is the guy who has taken everything that meant the most in my life :'( Her being one of them.
They did break up once but now are back together and it is driving me insane. And i've been trying since they started going out to 'get over her' but i can't. All i know is that i love her and that, to me, she is perfect. (i don't mean she is some goddess of beauty, she is just everything i could want in the one person).
She knew the first time they were going out that i had feelings for her but this time either she doesn't know or she doesn't want to know.

It's eating me up inside knowing that everyday shes probably on the phone to him and all of that sort of stuff. And the most annoying thing of all is that if he was to disappear of the face of this earth then almost everything in my life would be better.
Im so sick of 'them'. I just wish they would break up and start hating each other because everyday something reminds me of her and everyday it makes me sad that i might never 'get her back'. Shes the only girl i've ever felt so strongly about and it driving me mental :'(.
What should i do?... What CAN i do?

January 5, 2006
4:34 am
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alycia
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Hey,

If she knew u felt for her once then im sure she knows u feel for her still, somehow ur actions probably show it cause us women aren't silly. So that leads me to tell u to try to stop torturing yourself. We can't control who we feel for, how easy life would be if we could so i suggest u do ur damndest to move on cause she has a boyfriend, like him or not he has been around for 7 mths and that 7 mths u have been waiting for her and hoping their relationship would end permanently when u could have been happily involved with someone urself. He took ur very close friend away and i know that hurts but stop torturing urself as i said and try to accept the situation and try to get on with it, you can meet a new girl, friend or more and u will feel so much better for it. It will take ur pain away because u gotta think she is having a good time in life with her man, her life etc, so should you be too!!!!! Do you still see this girl at all to be friends with? Has she not bothered with u since this guy came along cause u dont dump ya friends either just because u meet someone cause we certainly know men and women come and go? The only reason i am not suggesting u lay it on the line and tell her how u feel is because u said she already knows how u feel so therefore i dont want u to hurt urself anymore by telling her something she already knows, they say sometimes that healing a broken heart can be helped by finding another and in ur case it can because like i said its time u started living which means moving on and eventually meeting someone who will like you, love you and feel the same way back .... take care k

January 5, 2006
9:12 am
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BelieveLove
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Hello Suspiro !!!!!!!!!!

I was in the same position as you ... I fell in love with a guy with a girlfriend, and he proposed me to travel with him as a friend (while having his girlfriend).

It was so hard to say no to him, you cant believe it !

I didnt want loose his friendship, so i had to say to him how i was feeling ... He put me out of his life in the minute i told him i was in love! His girlfriend never knew about me and at this moment i know that he was never my friend, because if he was my real friend, he would accepted me at this moment as a friend. He never congratuled me for my "sucess in taking my professional course on the trip we were going do together".

Believe me, at this moment (6 months after), my heart is healed ... Is such a great feeling of freedom you cant imagine !!!!!!!!!

Dont torture yourself, move on with your life, make new friends and LOVE YOURSELF very much.

This girl is happy with her life, so try to live your life the best way you can !

I know this is difficult, but dont beg for love ! Try to have your own interests and others friends!

If you are stucked in this situation, you will never be free to another girl who loves you as you deserve !

It's painful but try to find in yourself why you fell in love with a person who doesnt love you! This is a sign that you have unresolved things with yourself.

I knew that i was a "codependent person" when i tried to do a lot of things to make someone loved me !!!!!!!!!!! This is the big mistake i have done !!!!!!!!!

Believe that there is someone in the world who will love you as you deserve !

January 5, 2006
11:02 am
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overcome
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Well, I think if we truly love someone, then we want to see them happy...even if it is not with us.

It sounds to me like you are more obsessed than anything. Not sure you know her from a "relationship" standpoint to be in love with her on that level.

I would let it be and if she is happy, be happy for her. If it does not work out this guy, then, well, who knows. But don't be the one to try to sabotage their relationship...that is just so not cool!

January 6, 2006
9:32 am
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suspiro
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Hey people,

Thanks for the advice, ill do what i can to follow it...

'overcome' (and all of you) are right. "I would let it be and if she is happy, be happy for her." Thats the other thing thats been eating me up... As much as i want her for myself, she means a lot to me and she is happy, and at the end of the day i really do want her to be happy at even with the toll her happiness has been having on me. *sigh* (which is what suspiro means) What i want seems to be contradicting itself, for her to be happy... and for me to be happy with her. lol
So i guess it comes down to which one means more, her friendship or probably nothing at all... not much option is there?
and as much as i have at times wanted to, i wouldn't never sabotage their (or anyones) relationship.

"It's painful but try to find in yourself why you fell in love with a person who doesnt love you! This is a sign that you have unresolved things with yourself."
Well it really is a long (and messy) story but before he entered the picture, we were really close friends. People had actaully started asking me if we were going out... (lol) But at the time i didn't want to do anything about it because i thought it might ruin what was already there... I suppose its one of those you really don't know what you've got till its gone situations. And i guess there are unresolved issues with myself about it, like the fact that what stuffed it all up for me was the act of me being a good friend...

"Do you still see this girl at all to be friends with?"
Well i'm in grade school still and its our summer break at the moment so i haven't seen her in ages. But soon i will be seeing her (them) again five days a week. We're still friends and we still talk to each other, but the friendship isn't the same as it used to be. We used to spend nights just chattin' over msn and on the phone and they started going out and it just kinda trickled to a stop and has never been the same since. I spose she now spends her nights talking to him instead. Who knows...

Yeah, i'll move on... when i can. Which will hopefully be as soon as possible. I like everyone wants someone who wants me
'now/at present'... wanting someone who might have wanted me before is a way to ensure a lonley future i guess...

Anyway thanks for your reply's they will probably mean the difference between a lonely year and a not-so-lonely year...

*Suspiro*

P.S. The real name is Chris.
P.P.S. I still wish that 'He' would move overseas or something (lol), but for other reasons...

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