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She's Driving Me Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 19, 2001
11:57 am
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lover2000
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Just recently a friend of mine was put out by her sister. From the things she told me about her sister, I felt a deep sense of sympathy for her. So, I did the noble thing and allowed her to stay at my house. She's only been there 3 days and already SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There were things about her I didn't see until she moved in. Two, I wanted to date her, but now I don not. For one, she's bossy,she's always demanding that when I'mnot in class,I be there with her. I don't mind being there some of the time, but I still have a life!!!!!!! And I've told her that! Also, I was sleeping last night and she came in and slapped me on the arm. I jumped and nearly fell out the bed and she just started laughing. Ha! Ha! That was real funny at 2:00 IN THE MORNING! She's constantly putting me down,telling me what I do and don't do with my house, like she pays one bill there. She's just there on a humble! This morning, I didn't come back until 11:00 AM because I went to the store to look for some things. She went crazy on me when I got back "Where have you been?" My reply was "Minding my business!" She's trying to run my life,and I won't stand for it. But a part of me just can't kick her out. I've been told time and time again that my heart is too good, and that's a problem. It gets in the way of my being able to tell people off. Please help! She's driving me crazy!

September 19, 2001
2:47 pm
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pg lova
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September 24, 2010
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Lover2000,

Tell her that you feel she's crowding your space. You don't need all of that. Let her know that it's not working and give her a couple weeks to find somewhere else to live. Let me know how it goes.

September 19, 2001
5:51 pm
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Molly
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You don't owe her any explanation, just give her a time line, and demand that it happen. Its not working and you need your space. This is a good learning experince, boundry lines, and how to draw them. The longer you put this off, the harder it will be to get rid of her. Now its easy to see how some people create their own drama.

September 19, 2001
8:16 pm
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lover2000
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Thanks Molly & PG. My biggest issue with this is that she is such a good friend to me. I mean not once would I have imagined that she had this side to her. I mean make no mistake she will be put out pretty soon, but I don't know where she'd go. She already told me she doesn't have a lot of money. What kind of friend would I be if I put her out and let her live on the streets? She's trying to find a better job so she can get back on her feet, but in the meantime she's screwed. On the other hand, I can't live with anyone who does all of these things. At first, we started out as real good friends. Going out together, I'd cook dinner on Sundays and have a lot of people come over and she'd come too, I sang at a concert andwho was on the front row to offer me support but her? But now she lets me see this nasty side to her coming out. She's just awful to live with. But still, I am analyzing the situation and trying to come up with a solution where she won't have to live with me, but still she won't be living on the streets. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to accomplish this?

September 22, 2001
5:31 am
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kaeliouna26
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First of all, I believe that if you solve her prblm without her asking that it sets a bad example. When you do that, you're really just trying to help yourself -maybe bec you don't want to feel guilty. Remeber that her prblm is finding a place to stay, your prblm is her behavior and friendship. It sounds like you still want her friendship, and are afraid of jeopardizing that if you make it clear to her how you feel. Start by being a good example. Be honest about how you feel, and own your own feelings. If she really is a good friend she won't want you to be miserable and she will most likely ask for your help. If she chooses not to understand, 'she' is risking your friendship. Make that clear to her. It's ok to love her but not her habits.

September 22, 2001
1:52 pm
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Molly
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What is wrong with being real clear, look we got along, and I really cherish our friend ship, and when I heard you were tossed out of your sister's place I thought I could help you, and what ever. But I had no idea living with another person was going to make me crazy, ( everyone needs an out) I guess I have lived alone to long, so here is the deal, you need to get on your feet ASAP, and in the mean time this is what is driving me nutzo, ok, don't talk to me before coffee, don't come into my room when I have retired, I am not your mother, and you are not mine, so don't check up on me, I demand mutual respect, or your going to need to find immediately different arrangements, I am willing to work with you, helping you out for another ---------- fill in the blank days, but I needed to be clear on these other things, my way or the highway. BOUNDRY LINES

September 23, 2001
8:55 am
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shades
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I feel you are putting her feeling ahead of your own. You should just be honest with her, if you are truely good friends she will understand. Just give a few weeks to find a new place.

September 23, 2001
9:47 am
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lover2000
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Thanks everyone who responded. She ended up just driving me so crazy to the point that I put her out. I told her that it just didn't work. she is now living with her sister once more.

September 23, 2001
8:33 pm
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Molly
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Yee haw, freedom now lock the doors and screen the calls.

September 24, 2001
10:44 am
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Ladeska
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It's about time!!!

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