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shattered dreams
July 21, 2005
12:11 pm
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MDK256
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my dreams are completely shattered. i am so in love with someone who i thought i would be with forever, bu he has turned to drugs, cheating, and stealing. what bothers me the most out of the 3 is the cheating. don't get me wrong, it bothers me for him using drugs, lying, and stealing to get them, but my heart is so torn just to think that he's been with other girls. it makes me feel cheap. what is it that they can give him that i couldn't? i don't think i can ever trust again, or feel close to anyone. did he ever love me, or was it all a lie????

July 21, 2005
12:16 pm
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jamaicanwife
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You are separating the drug use, the lying and the cheating. You can't, they go together.

Does he accept that he has a problem in either of these areas, or are you the only one that is bothered by his actions?

July 21, 2005
1:18 pm
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starshine
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September 24, 2010
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MDK256,
Honey, dont-dont-dont beat yourself up! This has nothing to do with you, what you did or did not do, how you look, how you've treated him, etc. This is about addiction, pure and simple. This is about him, his drug use, his issues, his shit. Do not take responsibility for his actions! You are better than that! What I would ask you now is where are you? Do you love yourself enough to break free from the pain? If not, how do you get there? How do you let this guy go and start working on you, taking the focus off of him? Post here, go to Nar-Anon meetings, get a good support network of friends and family. I know, because I've been working on the same thing, except my ex-bf is an alcoholic. They blow into your life like a tornado and destroy everyone and everything in their path. When they have used you up and left you with nothing, they will move on to the next one, the next enabler, the next person that allows them to be with their addiction without fallout.

Take care of yourself sweetie, start working on you, and you will come out of the dark. It will take time, tears (rivers of them) and a willingness to get beyond the current situation. Be good to yourself right and hold that head high! We are all here pulling for you!!

(((Hugs)))
Starshine

July 24, 2005
8:39 pm
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dazed and confused
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I would advise you to go to an alanon meeting. And learn to take care of yourself. Please don't think I am heartless, I fully understand. I am in a similar boat. But I hopped from one boat to another one quite a few times,dressed in different packages I end up in the same situation though. Good Luck, I am trying to take the advise I just gave you.

July 24, 2005
9:19 pm
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exoticflower
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SOmething to concider here, one I had a hard time with...maybe THOSE drema are shattered...those don't have to be the only dreams. I had one plan, one dream, and as long as I told myself that this one thing working was all that could make me happy, well it was true. The second I decided that I would allow other things to make me happy, I was amazed to find out that there WHERE other things that could...and it was all within my reach.

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