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sharing dreams: a thought by Nesh
September 2, 2005
4:44 am
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Neshema
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The belief that “I should not expect you to be interested in or share my dreams” is learned after many years of feeling that one’s dreams have not been interesting or shared by key figures in that person’s life. Sharing one’s dreams, whether they be night-time dreams, or life-time dreams, with another, is an intimate bonding between two loving, caring, human beings, whereas replaying one’s dreams within one’s own mind is a self-absorbed activity, learned by those self-sufficient people for whom attempts at honest, true, sharing ultimately have proven futile.

September 3, 2005
1:00 am
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Neshema
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I really wonder what you all think of this. Nesh

September 3, 2005
8:10 pm
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Matteo
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I wasn't ever aware of that belief, but it is quite possible. My mother never shares her dreams (wonder if she has any) and all my life is condemning me for my ideas and ideals. If she was the only key person in my life, I would probably never be able to share them with the people I trust. Fortunately for me I also had a father who had dreams at night and goals and ideals during his lifetime, and used to share them generously.

September 3, 2005
8:39 pm
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It doesn't take long to find out who is interested in your dreams, does it?

Night time dreams have always fascinated me, though I rarely have any I remember any more. They seem to me to be a goofy coming-together of bits and pieces of my experiences and thoughts over a more recent period of time. If it is a recurring dream, I think it's very indicative of a problem that seems unsolvable. I like to think those night-time dreams are our minds' way of working through our day-time problems. Maybe when we are not having them we have no problems? Or we are not working on solving any problems?

Sharing your day-time hopes and dreams just isn't appropriate unless you really trust the other person. It's pretty naive to open up like that -- most people learn to hold their dearest dreams rather close just because they are so vulnerable.

What you suggest about self-absorbed activity if you just replay dreams by yourself strikes me curiously. Would this account for the fantasy world a narcissist creates? As a result of having his earlier-shared dreams scoffed at? I've never thought about sharing dreams in this light before. Thanks for a new angle!

September 3, 2005
11:38 pm
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Neshema
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My friend had said to want someone else to hear your own dreams is narcissistic. I thought that was really sad. That is was led me to this whole concept. He has learned that others are not interested in him. How is it that sharing one's dream's is narcissitic, when you truly care about that person? So, he lives a very self-absorbed life, as do most of us, and we just learn not to share.

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