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shape up or ship out discussion coming and I'm losing my strength already
October 23, 2006
9:41 pm
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thedogsmom
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September 30, 2010
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my story is as many of you have been through here.. Wonderful nice loving husband of 7 going on 8 years..after 5 years of BLISS...things went awry....found out it was meth....causing him to pull away from me..less sex....less quality time together..money missing...not getting money for bills, days off work unacounted for... cell phone calls from people I dont know...girls and guys--looking for his company... lies..lies and more lies... promises to change..
we went through drug rehab once...he quit early...we tried counseling..he quit after a few sessions..we fight... I threaten to break up ....he promises to 'be-good'...he is "good' for a while... and then...back to the same old sad tiring story...
after two years of this...I am wanting to quit...I want it to STOP! I want him to CHANGE.. but I can't make him CHANGE!.. I want him to see how he is destroying his life AGAIN (been married and divorced twice already).... and I know he will be sorry later when he leaves and it is too late... but I can't change him... I cry.. I plead.. I pout.. I withold sex... I get angry...I threaten to leave... he shapes up for a bit... but... still the doubt..the lies.. the lack of financial help....the unexplained time off and phone calls..
NOTHING HAS CHANGED!
He told me tommorow he would give me more money for bills (said he had been saving it to take me on vacation-more lies).. and that we would talk tommorow...
I told him...he needs to give me the money...and if he had NOThing more to say..cant tell me the UGLY TRUTH that I already know (hes still doing meth)...and cant come up with a solution for quitting...then he needs to give me a date that I can expect him to move out by ( I know..I know... you say I should just kick him out and not worry where he goes) but I know me... and I KNOW i can NOT do that.. I have to at least allow him to stay a bit longer to save some money and move..

I did tell him that if he wouldn't give me a date.. then I would give him one and I will be changing the locks on that day.

i don't know how long I should give him.. I feel like for his kids (from second wife) I should give him until christmas.. but that is just too long for me to live like this... I think I may just say he has to be out by December 1st...??? and then I'm thinking of just moving in with my parents till he leaves the house (house is in my name-I'm the only one on mortgage)... cause I'm afraid if I stay there for another month he will just try to be nice and suck me in again...???
help again..with words that help me be strong.

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