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Shaney - IN TEARS! UGH!!!
December 30, 2005
11:58 am
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kathygy
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Shaney,

thinking about you and wondering how your evening was with your bf.

love,
kathy

December 30, 2005
1:24 pm
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Shaney
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Wow - thank you everyone for checking on me - you're all so special!

We started to talk last night - it went well - no mud slinging or anything, it was peaceful. He has dropped one of his volunteer positions at work (he actually listened to my suggestion :o) ) - which was hard for him, but he knows will be better for both of us. We also talked about my feeling that all of his relationships with everyone else seemed more important than his relationship with me. We talked a little more and then watched a movie. We still have more to discuss, and so we'll continue tonight. One plus is, when I came home from work he had cleaned the house pretty well - which was a big help. We're working on it.

Thanks for your concern, everyone. I know I sound like a broken record, but I just cant thank you enough for getting me through this. You've stuck by me to a greater extent than my real life friends - REALLY!

much love to all of you - shaney

December 30, 2005
1:28 pm
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kathygy
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shaney,

you deserve all the support you can get.

glad to hear things went well.

love,
kathy

December 30, 2005
1:28 pm
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CAMER
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(((awesome Shaney)))) glad things worked out so far, so good.....and its sooo true, this support group helps me more than my real life friends too, i guess with us all being
coda its easier to help one another and "truely" understand all the coda feelings.

love, Camer

December 30, 2005
1:40 pm
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lollipop3
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(((Shaney))),

I'm so glad to hear that things went well.

My wish for you is that the two of you continue to communicate and work together to have the relationship that you both deserve.

Love,
Lolli

December 30, 2005
1:46 pm
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Shaney
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camer - I'm really amazed at the quality, and the amount of support that I have received here. I really feel like I've made some friends here.

Hey lolli - what's happening with you? I need some good golly miss lolli news.

December 30, 2005
2:29 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Shaney))) I am so pleased for the good news, one step at a time and we will continue to support one another.

Keep us posted, sweetie!

Love, Ras~

December 30, 2005
2:34 pm
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lollipop3
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Shaney,

Not much is going on with Good Golly Miss Lolli.....LOL.

Things are about the same here. We are in the "honeymoon" phase of the cycle. He is being so nice it's almost scary. He's even been doing things like, when we go to be bed, shutting off the t.v, lights, locking the doors, etc. He NEVER does that kind of stuff. Usually when we go to bed, he just gets up, goes to bed and starts with "where are you?" , "baby, are you coming to bed"....while I am going around doing everything that needs to be done. So, that's a nice change. Whether or not it lasts, remains to be seen.

I had my therapy appointment last night. I told her what's been going on and that I did accept the ring that he gave me. Although she did seem to be trying to "steer" me in a different direction and keep me grounded in reality, she did express that she thought I was looking at things in a healthy way and that I didn't seem to be having unrealistic expectations. And as always, she told me that I am right where I need to be and that I'm doing just fine.

Sooooo, today I have the day off. I'm trying to get my house organized to make room for the stuff from Christmas and get my house into some 'semblense of order.

Do you have plans for New Years? B/F and I were invited to go to an art opening with my sister and her husband but there will be drinking involved so we decided to just have a quiet night at home.....just me, him and a couple of lobsters that will not be so happy to have met us.

I hope you have fun, no matter what you do.

Love,
Lolli

December 30, 2005
3:05 pm
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Shaney
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Lolli - you're going to die, but my bf does EXACTLY the same thing when he goes to bed - I'm left to take care of the whole "lock-down" routine. My jaw just dropped when I read that. What does your bf look like anyway? We may have to exchange pictures to make sure that we're not dating the same guy.

I think that you are definitely FINE - I agree with your therapist. You're a lot stronger and healthier now, and I know if there is a decision to make at some point, you'll make it. We all know when we've had enough - and we deal. You sound good, though - and I'm glad. I'm also happy that he is being good to you - soak it up while it lasts.

For new years I'm going to go up north again to where I'm from originally. I'm staying with my friend (of 28 years!) and her husband. We'll go to dinner and then play it by ear. I'll probably see some old school friends out and about, so it should be fun. Bf is on duty Sat. and Sun. so I'll be going solo, which I'm really looking forward to.

Take care and be kind to our lobster friends - lotsa love to you, my friend - Shaney

December 30, 2005
3:08 pm
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Shaney
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Hi Ras!

Happy New Year to you, lovely one - let's pack this next year full of GOOD memories. :o)

((((Ras))))

December 30, 2005
3:23 pm
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lollipop3
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Shaney,

So many of these men seem to have the same characteristics. Thank goodness you live on the west coast, otherwise, I WOULD be concerned! LOL

Your trip sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun for you. I just heard the weather report for this weekend and they are predicting snow. If it does snow, I will be solo as well. I won't be upset about it though. Perhaps a bit disappointed but if I'm going to hang around with him, I need to accept the fact that he plows when it snows, whether we have plans or not. If that does happen, I will just tag along with my sister to the opening. Or...perhaps I'll still do the lobster thing but with my Dad instead. We'll see. Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it right now.

It's funny you mentioned being kind to our lobster friends....it reminds me of when I was younger. My father always brought lobsters home for the family on New Year's Eve every year and we would all have dinner together. Well, one year, I got particularly attached to one of the lobsters. I named him Lenny and I took pictures of him with the disc camera I had gotten for Christmas (remember those?) Anyway, when it was Lenny's time to go into the pot....I asked if I could keep him instead. When my mother said no, I cried and cried and cried. After she cooked him, I told her to MAKE SURE that I didn't eat any part of him! My brother and sisters kept teasing me saying that I WAS eating him even though my mother assured me that she gave me one of "unnamed" ones.

The whole thing was very disturbing.

Wow....typing this made me realize that I really was a dweeb!

Anyway, bring on the lobster and have a great trip!

Love,
Lolli

December 30, 2005
3:41 pm
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Shaney
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Naming the lobster isn't wierd to me at all - I'm an animal freak and have always dragged home any stray that I could find. I used to spend my days as a kid LOOKING for animals that needed to be taken care of, even though I knew my parents wouldn't let me keep them.

When I was about 6, my grandfather used to own strawberry fields, and for some reason, I wanted to work in the fields to make my own money (at 6 years old, oh please). Every morning when I got there I would pick strawberries and place one in every mouse hole that I could find, so the mice wouldn't be hungry. I would also, stick some in the branches of the trees for the birds. What a nut, I was. I'm still like that though - I feed all the birds and squirrels in the neighborhood too.

Whatever you do, have a lot of fun. I know what it's like not to have your bf around for special ocassions... it happens for me a lot because of his schedule - but hang in there. Stay happy regardless, and kiss the lobsters for me.

- Shaney

December 30, 2005
3:42 pm
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Shaney
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We're safe.... my bf doesn't know how to drive a snow plow.

December 30, 2005
11:13 pm
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Mishy2sons
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So glad the talk went well! What a relief.

December 30, 2005
11:31 pm
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Lass
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Glad it went well, doll. You deserve it and worked hard for a good result.

LL

December 31, 2005
1:36 am
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bonita1
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Shaney-licious!!!

I am so glad things are settling down for you and your b/f. Hopefully, things will continue to get better and better especially when he goes back to his doctor and gets his meds adjusted.

You were CoDA since you were a 6 year old feeding those birds and mice?? That's really cute and funny.

Good golly miss lolli!! I was rooting for Lenny and was hoping there was a happy ending for him too. Sigh!

Happy New Years Eve to all!!

December 31, 2005
12:06 pm
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Shaney
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Yep pita, no doubt that I was struck with the coda bug early on...what a crack up!

December 31, 2005
7:25 pm
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bonita1
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yes, you were very nurturing... did you go into the health profession or some other people profession??

January 1, 2006
6:44 pm
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22haha
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Shaney - I hope you are doing great and things are going well for you and M. I haven't been on in a while but things seem to be turning around for me. I'll tell you more later. I just wanted to tell you that even when I am not here I think of you and hope all is well. Give me the cliff note version if ya feel like it. Hope you had a wonderful New Year!!! 22

January 2, 2006
12:21 am
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Shaney
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Hi pita - no not at all. I'm creative director for a company here in Westlake Village. But even now, if I see a dog or cat running the streets, I round it up, stick it in my car and will drive around with it all day until I find it a home!

hey 22 - I'm good. Went back home to hang out with old friends. We had fun. Bf was on duty so I was solo - but i got to spend lots of time with hs friends that I rarely ever see. It would have been boring for him because I get all wrapped up with these people.

Things are good - I get to sleep in tomorrow and then I'm going to attempt to get organized, makes some lists, and try to start this new year off on the right foot.

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