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Shame is kiiling me
September 23, 2003
4:22 am
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Rimsha
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September 30, 2010
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Hi, these days Iam suffering from high depression and my past is coming back to me again and again. How should I get rid of it??

My past is full of having relationships based purely on physical desires.Now I feel guilty and just can't forgive myself although it was never an attempt from my side.

most of the time Iam scared that people will get to know about it and it can bring a shame to my name and my family.

Plz help what should I do. I feel like killing myself.

September 23, 2003
4:48 am
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Zinnie
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September 29, 2010
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Rimsha!

Please do feel that way! So many relationships sometimes are just that, they are physical, and they may serve a purpose at that time and place in your life. When you meet the right person you will know.

Now, I'm hoping that I'm not coming across as judgemental, or a "fogie" - but please, if you are out and about dating and being physical with people, please please please be safe O.K.

As far as bringing shame to your family? I'm not saying that those days are behind us, but really for the most part people are a lot more open regarding physical relationships than they were in the past.

Also, I'm sure your family will love you for who you are, no matter what mistakes you have made in your past. Trust me hon, we have all made them. The thing to do is try to learn from them.

It sounds as if you are coming to terms with how you handled relationships in the past, so that is good. Have you considered talking to a therapist to find out the root of your issue there? Also, even an MD regarding your feelings of suicide. Life is a gift, and we only get one chance to live it, so make the most of it while you can.

I think the thing you really need to do more than anything is look in the mirror and see yourself for the beautiful person that you are, and forgive yourself.

But, please, seriously if you are really feeling suicidal, please seek help. Also, remember this board has postings from all over the world, so at some time or another you will generally find some one lurking around. In my case tonight I cannot sleep. But... if you need someone to talk to, come here, and we will try to help you work it out.

Love,
Zinnie

September 23, 2003
7:35 pm
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Jeanine
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Hi Rimsha,

First of all, please don't do anything as permanent as killing yourself for a temporary problem.

You are way more valuable than you think right now. You should maybe refrain from a physical relationship right now. Rediscover yourself & your value - please know that you have qualities about you that no one else in this world has. You have to believe in yourself & respect yourself. No one else will respect you if you don't respect yourself!

Zinnie is right - you really should talk with a professional. Hang in there & seek help! You have value & you are special!

September 24, 2003
2:19 am
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heisthe1
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Rimsha

You are doing the right thing, you are talking about it. You are not alone, find a recovery group who are working on the same issues that you are.

Of all the people in the world there is none like you. You are unique and that makes you special. You will discover that your past can become a stepping stone and not a stubbling stone.

All of us who are in recovery have come from a shame and guilt relationships, but have discovered the loving and graceful relationships of 12 steps.

Thanks for letting me share.
God bless

September 24, 2003
7:35 am
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Anam Cara
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Rimsha

I live next door to a old country family ------ I move in and out of depressions - some days I have felt like you have described- I am ashamed to say - but I must be honest to you and others here.

My old neibours have little understanding of what really ails me - they keep involving me in silly things - like did you see that sunrise today. The dew was heavy this morning casting some haunting feelings around - did you hear that wonderful classical music I was playing today? What a sunset last night - did you experience all these things? I thought sod off leave me to wallow in my my s---t.

I have a remeady for your feelings of shame - hold my hand whilst we knell and ask God for his forgiveness -- Granted! So move - believe you have been forgiven - cos. you have. Stop beating your self up - You now have no reason.

I hope you feel better - and like me I can now concentrate on the wonder of the world my neibours live in. Cast off what is holding you back - otherwise it will consume you. Even after you have been forgiven -- that is the sin of it and hurts our father.

LOL. Anam

September 24, 2003
11:02 am
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artist 2
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September 27, 2010
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Are you perhaps struggling with accepting responsibility for these relationships? You say that it was not an attempt on your part to do it. Sometimes we are guilty by what we LET HAPPEN, rather than what we actively do.

Why the guilt feelings in the first place? Did someone get hurt?

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