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Shall we lean on one another as we become whole? or help destroy one another further?
March 21, 2005
5:14 pm
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GullyFoyle
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chickyfighter

I wish I could take away your pain. But we all n=know and learn, and you know deep down, that the pain will be there for a little while. You're gonna hurt. you're gonna make mistakes. We all do. Well, I do. I make some really seriously stupid mistakes. I mean, really stupid mistakes. Been making them for years. But each time, I learn a little more and the next time, the mistake isn't quite as stupid as before. Yeah, still a stupid mistake, just not as bad.

You are worth more than "scraps"! One of the hardest things in life is NOT settling. Waiting for things, good things, to come your way. Cuase they do, if you wait. And you know what, I hate to say this because it is really true in my case, but sometimes you have to wait for decades. So while you are waiting, do the good things for yourself. Enjoy yourself. Have fun. Learn a new language. Write poems. Draw pictures of your ex in various gruesome situations and then sell them on ebay. But do it for yourself. Don't look for validation from a man or a relationship. Bah! Men! The relationship is validated because of you, not the other way around.

There are people out there, some that you haven't even met yet, that love you and look forward to the day they meet you. So stop it with this guy and go out there and meet your own life.

Gully

March 21, 2005
5:27 pm
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chickyfighter
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Gully, my head knows all this, My heart is breaking, I never knew it could break and hurt more each time...Actually no, this stuff hurt more when I was married. I have never been so stupid than I was then, so yeah I guess you are right, I guess we do get better and our mistakes are less stupid. I just feel so weak today. I am so weak that I am scared to come back later on tomorrow to your guys and say "I called and went over his house and let him have sex w/me, and I will be worse off tomorrow although for that minute I may feel close to him" I hate being trapped in this spot! Why am I so dang weak w/him!!!

March 21, 2005
6:03 pm
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GullyFoyle
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Well, just don't. And if you do, no one here will say bad things. hell, we've been there. It's okay.

You are only weak with him now. You'll get stronger and then one day, you'll wonder why you ever, ever felt that way.

Gully

March 21, 2005
6:43 pm
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Rasputin
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Honey, I totally agree with Gully's words of wisdom. You are a precious, warm, romantic lady. Do not sell yourself cheaply for someone who is unable to appreciate the gem in you.

Wait on the Lord, He has a plan for you. While you are waiting for His plan, have fun.

I started a funny thread "What is the most goofy thing U have ever done?" This is exactly what you need now, Sweetie. Laughter and fun. Go right now read it. Right something funny in it. It will change you. I promise you.

Here is a tip: Whenever that urge comes to you to go to his place, pray, come here and vent, call prayer line, talk to them. Try not to act on that urge!

We are all here for you and we love you,

Rasputin

March 21, 2005
8:43 pm
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peacesoul
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Chickyfighter...the weak days will come and go, but the key words is they will "GO"....

This is what I tell myself every time I get a weak day (which I get often).
I say

"Come on pain, come and get me. You will not kill me and you cannot be any worse than the pain I felt when I was with my boyfriend...so come on, give me your best shot"

You are tough cookie....ride it out

God Speed

Rasputin...thanks for the prayers. They are working cause I have been feeling better....God Bless you. You are such a sweetheart

March 21, 2005
11:06 pm
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chickyfighter
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Gully, Peaceful soul, Rasputin, I also pray and prayed for all of us when I go to service, I say the names on here b/c I don't know your real names, but God knows. I am sober from him another day. I did not call him, I have really nothing to say, I am done talking, I just wanted him close to me. I agree the pain after I leave him is greater than the pain of not seeing him. I promise to pray each time I feel weak. I do get on here, I find this to be my refuge lately. I am not sure if its right but getting calls and returning calls from old boyfriends is helping me. I know it is probably not the best, but they remind me of what I deserve, even if it is just words. They are not in this state so I can't see them but I know if I asked they would come visit (they are mostly military). I don't want to hurt them but they just remind me of how I should never settle,they make me feel even more how horrible it is of HIM to ask me to just be another one of his pile of women to have sex with. Of course I still don't understand why he has the need to have me if he has them, but I don't think I am meant to know. I would like to think he knows in there somewhere that I am special but those other poor girls are probably as lost as me, if not worse off. Rasputin I will write something on your funny thread, if I can think of something. I love you. Do you mind me asking how old you are? You are so nurturing to me. I wish I could hug you guys, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I could never repay all these kind suggestions and words of encouragement, and just being here for me. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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