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Sexual Abuse Survivors
January 31, 2007
11:25 pm
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scyllamessina
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I just read an awesome book for male partners of female sexual abuse survivors.

What About Me? A Guide for Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse.

By Grant Cameron

January 31, 2007
11:28 pm
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Worried_Dad
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I think it is worthwhile to talk to prospective partners before you get too deeply involved with them to discover if indeed you really want to get deeply involved with them.

January 31, 2007
11:38 pm
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scyllamessina
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The statistic is that 1 in 4 women have some experience with sexual abuse.

January 31, 2007
11:46 pm
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serenityali
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Worried Dad,

Could you explain your comment? I am trying not to take it personally. But as a survivor of sexual abuse I am. Sorry, just feels like the abuse continues at times. I have worked hard for many years to overcome and heal from something I didn't ask for. I don't mean to offend you and will say I am sorry if I have, but don't generalize. Some of us have gone to great lenths to put our lives back together.

Ali

February 1, 2007
6:11 am
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scyllamessina
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Amen to that. In one sense, he is right. Those of us who have survived sexual abuse need partners who are not faint of heart to help us heal from the pain. It truly requires someone who is loving and compassionate to even start to try to understand what we have been through.

February 1, 2007
12:27 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Oh I understand that completly. I cant talk about my childhood with my husband. Not because he wont listen but it hurts him so much and he gets angry (not at me but about what happend)

February 1, 2007
12:57 pm
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Matteo
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WD ~ "I think it is worthwhile to talk to prospective partners before you get too deeply involved with them to discover if indeed you really want to get deeply involved with them."

Is that comment meant for survivors or their intimate partners? What is the point of your comment anyway and how does it tie with healing from sexual abuse (whenever it happened in life) or being already involved with someone who is in process of healing?

February 1, 2007
3:06 pm
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thumkin
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I would not try to put words in anothers mouth, but I took his meaning to be you should discuss that with them to see if you want to get deeply involved with them knowing that if you could hurt them more than help them. I would see it as an act of caring more than any kind of dismissive gesture.

Thats just the way I take it though

February 1, 2007
11:32 pm
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serenityali
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Well, maybe I am a bit sensitive, but I didn't take it that way and wish he would clarify. This really hit my shame and felt like abuse or rejection. I could be wrong and wouldn't be the first time.

Ali

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