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Sew, Mama are you here?
January 21, 2005
12:01 am
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sewunique
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I am still trying to remember my dreams when I wake up, some fuzzy thoughts this am, but nothing definate. I am working on it. Have to share with you about my pending marital staus later. Have to go back to is for Feb 4th. And the mrtgage will get paid and the attorney fees (big time) for that as well tomarrow, hopefully so foreclosure will be closed. Thank Godd beforehand. Nite

January 21, 2005
3:20 pm
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OMW:

How r u today? I'm sorry I wasn't on the computer last night. My hubby was trying to fix it for me.

You ok now?

I understand the thoughts of crying, etc. being a weakness. I grew up that way too. You suck it up. You go on. You don't talk about it.

Sorry I was not available last night. I am today if you still want to talk, but looks like ya'll had a great conversation. Wish I had been here.

January 21, 2005
3:24 pm
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MamaC, OMW is on CAlif(?)time. So I catch her maybe around 9 or 10 EST. You're Missouri? What time is that?

Hope you catch her again.;)

January 21, 2005
9:19 pm
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On My Way,

How are you doing? Let us hear from you sooooooon!

Sew/C

January 21, 2005
9:54 pm
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I am here tonight, I am ok. MamaC, hav ebeen a Christian for so long...soemtimes I jsut don't understand anymore. Thanks all again, love you all.

Sew, what is up with JM on the Why are men afraid to commit? thread...or just tell me to mind my own business..

January 21, 2005
10:00 pm
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OMW,

Are you really doing ok? Or what? Tellme friend, what's going on?

I aam not sure about the other JM thing, was that a wink or what?

Sew/C

January 21, 2005
10:14 pm
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I am ok, stable, knwoing that my blood test results will be in Moday, know that I might be able to feel beter if it is a chemical thing going on...I have friends near me who care, on the we here and here where I live. Been talking about how imprtant it is to just vent. So I will keep venting...what I really need to do is go and have a good, hysterical laugh with some friends. And I still feel like I am a roller coaster and cannot get off though. Guess what I did today..I sent my favorite person and email today...just asked him how he was doing.

Re: the other thread person, has some great ides..JM...in ways of tryignto get in touch with feelings...but in the Sex Drive& Men thread, he explains more about what he beleives in. And honestly, I became aggravated with it.But you express yourself really well, so maybe he is attracted to that. If you go to the website he posted, it will give you an idea of "how" he communicates with this type of therapy.
How are things with you by the way?

January 21, 2005
10:20 pm
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sewunique
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I am so happy for your email! You actually did contact him, oh, how I hope he responds in a positive way.

I am fine, not really, just bummed out and in denial of it.

I read the posts and must say I was impressed the other day I read it. But, I just caught the last line written and now I am confused by that last sentence. I don't get it.

What web site are you talking about, cuz I'd like to read it. I really do express my feelings well, huh? Thanks, after hearing so many years that I have nothing to say that is refreshing to hear.

How is your mom doing? Are you able to get some relief help like hospice in or can you contact the Alzheimer assoc, if sh qualifies and get their resid services?

A good belly laugh would do me well also. wonder where our WD has been hiding? Miss his jokes. He probably doesn't miss us tho.

January 21, 2005
10:29 pm
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sewunique
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Mamac was looking for you earlier today. Told her you'd be on later tonite. I think her hubby went from nite shift to day shift now? Not sure. Hard to catch her as she is only on for a short time.

What website did JM post?

January 21, 2005
10:34 pm
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The website is listed in that thread and the Patterns in Reltionship thread. If you want me to post it I will look for it, other wise I will let you look for it.

When you say you are not really fine, jsut bummed out and in denial...be careful Sew, that is how I got where I was last night, and that was ok, but long overdue. So what are you not ok about? You seem to be able to let the past go pretty well, and don't want to talk about it much...is that because you can let it go, or because of denial?

My mom is worse everyday. She does not even know how to adjust her thermostat anymore. She is still living alone, but she is confused about where she is. We have hired somone to come in and help with her but only for 4 hrs a week. Losing family is difficult, but you said you were at peace about losing your mother, so that takes strength and courage...glad you are through that.

YES!! I contacted him, just to say hello. I hope that he feels comfortable enough to call, or say hello back.
I miss WD too, I wonder where he went..he was awesome with his honest replies.
Last night I sent SC an email. I asked if she/he could somehow help with allowing a few of us to exchnage emails, so that eventually we could all travel to meet each other...but she wrote back and said it waqs against guidelines. Understood, but I thought it was a good idea!!

January 21, 2005
10:48 pm
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OMW

Can you do me a favor and search that website/thread?please. I tried the search thread and nothing came up when I typed in'patterns in relationships' even using a single word search. Meantime, I'll answer your post, ok? Thanks

January 21, 2005
10:53 pm
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http://www.seykota.com/tribe/T...../index.htm and http://www.seykota.com/tribe/G...../index.htm

Try these, and I moved the thread to the top in case you want to read it too.

January 21, 2005
11:07 pm
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I do know what you mean, it hits like a ton of bricks when it hits and hard too. I thought I talked about my divorce enough last Oct and Nov when you and zinnie wD workin true and ready and camer responded. Who wants to hear all of that? Any way, I add tidbits of it all when I post to others.

So excuse me for not remembering, what happened to your dad? If your mom is all alone? That will not be possible for long. Have you made any future plans or ideas? Do you have siblings? Or any other family to help?

I know it is hard as I experienced losing my mom for almost a year. But I was able to get closer to her and do what I could, OMW/ S, that is something so precious that no one can ever take that away from you. Take solice in knowing you are there for her and doing all you can. Even if some days you feel you can do no more, or that you cannot do enough, it is a gift that God has given you this time with her, such as it is.

The condo is sitting near foreclosure. that will be paid next week with my settlement advancement. Attorneys added $1500.00 just for a death search. What a rip. They are in the same county as the death certificates, which are only $9.00 each. and my probate attorney talked to them before they tacked that fee on last week and offered the death certificates to them! That is unfair, so now the probate attorney, which now costs ME more money, has been contacting them to lower that 1500 dollar fee. Which looks like they will.

I tested positive for latent TB. Have to get lab work done before I start nine months of drusg. And a chest xray. No money for that as the insurance is not paying here in another state, so have to go to the County and beg help for that. or it will cost me over 500 dollars. My reg]fridge is bare, and I had pizza I stretched out for three days. I am broke big time and I have to fly to Wisconsin Feb 4 for another damn pretrial. If I could just get a trial I would get those pics he took and let them fall out of my hands onto the floor in front of the judge!!! My attorney for the divorce today said THAT would certainly wake him/her up! Guess that is a plan in the back of my mind to actually do it. I remember WD saying his advice and sounds like that woould be lsomething he would think up. I miss him here.

Now, is that enough venting and unloading??????? Enough of me.

January 21, 2005
11:25 pm
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OMW,

I just reread my post. I typed too fast. What I was trying to say about your mother is that it is hard for her condition to be alone in her home, and what plans do you have for the future for her? Will sho move in with you? Or long term care facility? Or assisted living? i hope you have everything you can in place for legal stuff, which you lshould with your background. No, not necessarily true, some parents are stuborn with getting things in place. I only mention this cuz my mom's estate is such a nitemare of a mess. Soon as I get my divorce, I am taking every precaution and steps I can for a will and trusts for my daughter, Better to do that now, of I will never do it when I get older.

January 21, 2005
11:31 pm
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sewunique
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Thanks for moving it up to the top. skimmed it quickly. Have an interest in what/how he responds, but might just be more of a clinical interest. Maybe I blew it, huh? Was sorta cute what was written tonite, if you get my drift, girlfriend. Have to check this website out now. So you enjoyed the website? That thread you had on relationships had some worthwhile comments. a very good thread!!!

January 21, 2005
11:35 pm
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Sew, you are so upbeat on most threads and so expressive, it really helps many of us I think, because you always seem so happy. How great is that? So here you are practically starving, and facing latent TB. You are very well balanced, or just cannot talk about yourself so much, gee that sounds familiar. I won't press this. You can talk as much as you want though. Where did thelatent TB come from, the hospital and patients you worked with...please take good care of yourself. Insurance in another state, were you covered on your ex's insurance policy and now you are not? Sew, my gosh..can you borrow some money from your daughter at all temporarily, or a relative, or a very good friend? Also regarding the pre-trial, make sure that you have to absolutely be there, as your attorney may be able to go for you. Why the delay for the trial by the way...ALSO! it would seem that due to your employement status, having to move, reapply for licensure all as a result of the divorce, has your attorney spoken to you about temporary alimony relief? this just does not sound right, that you are not getting anything from him at all. Yes you are considered to be able to take care of yourself due to your education, but you have moved away. Ask her ok? You have to eat!

Try to throw a thread out to WD and see if he answers: like maybe "Worried Dad..hello?"

Sew your spirit in spite of is awesome, I bet you are an incredible nurse, you certainly have the heart for being one.

Talk anytime, ok? Hugs my friend, this too shall pass...but ask your attorney about any relief, just for a few months even.

January 21, 2005
11:42 pm
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RE: my mom...my sister and I are working on trying to see what we can do. My mom has no long-term care insurance, but has BC/BS and Medicare. Assisted living will take all of her income and then some. But she really needs to go to Assisted Living. I hav eplans to look into this more deeply this weekend, and vist a couple of them near my home. It would not be a good idea for her to live with me, she could not handle my boys, and vice versa. The deterioration is so rapid, it is just amazing to me how fast it is progressing. And then too, most Assisted Living places require that the adult be able to partially care for themselves as well. Her memory is going so fast.

January 21, 2005
11:59 pm
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Good pm OMW & Sew:

January 22, 2005
12:07 am
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sewunique
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You know that long tearm care insurance is only good if you know you will need it. And who knows that?

When you go in there tao checjk the places out; smell, snell smell for odors. Listen, Listen if it sounds calm or busy and nerve racking. I do these two things befor I go for an interaview. It tells the story of what you will expect.

Ask how many staff ratio there are to pataient load. How many nurses, LPN or LVN there are and how many aides there are. Ask if they have to use temporary staffing serviceds aor just theiar own staff? Temps are hard for the clients with unfamiliarity and hard for the staff to deaal with and often the taemps don even show up. What else can I help with? Their are booklets that the Fedearal govrnt and state puts out on how to choose a nursing home and assisted living centers. Also ask how they did on their last survey? They should have that immediately available for your review. That is the Federal Guidelines and will blow them away if you ask. If they offer to let you see it or where it is, good for them, it is a good sign. And they survey report, is Feferal azgain should be in plain sight or readily available upon request. whastever you need, I am here to help and if I do not know I will try to research it for you. Aslo, each state should have their survey resulst on the web. Good luck with this process. If her memory is failng quickly, you might want to look at an assisted living that has a long term care facility attaached, when she needs it, she can automatically be on the list to morve there when they have an open bed, which is smoother transition for you than if you had to look at long term care placement somewhere else. What am I saying all this, I hope I am not overstepping my bounds, her. I just want to be available to help if you need it and to make sure she gets into the best care facility you can get for her! This has been weighing on your chest for awhile and I am sure when the time comes, it will be easirer in some ways, you will feel more safe about her, but hard in the fact that you had to take this step with her. At least she has your hand to hold as she moves from this part of her life onward in her jouney.

Sew/C

January 22, 2005
12:12 am
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OMW: I am sorry I missed you again. My hubby did switch from nights to days so now I'm not on the computer much in the evening. My best time now is during the day. I pop on and off alot coz I cannot be on the computer and the phone both. We live in a small town and don't have all the great things they have in the cities. Not yet anyway.

I will pray for you and mom. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. We all hit our lows. But, you know that even if you do not feel God right there that he is there. Remember the footprints in the sane poem. "You only saw one set of footprints because thru your hardest times I carried you" OMW, he is carrying you now.

Even tho God seems far away, keep praying. He does hear you. I printed something under prayer today about that. Can't remember right now.

If you ever need to talk, post what time you want me here. I do tell hubby I have appointments. lol. I do have certain times I am on but always have time for you.

You keep your chin up. Keep praying no matter what, and know that your God is right there with you. Close your eyes and imagine him putting his arms of love around you and how warm and powerful they feel. Have yuo heard the song "I Can Only Imagine"? I have to stop and sing it to God when I hear it.

You have a good night and I'll check in the am. Usually I'm up and on the pc 6 to 6:30 am. Have to get up at 5am to get hubby out the door to work.

January 22, 2005
12:13 am
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Hi mamac are you still here? You can tell by my typing I am getting tired fast as it is 12:30 here!!! How has your day been and hope you are doingg okay with all the information you will be getting from the docs. What's going on?

Sew/C

January 22, 2005
12:19 am
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Hi Sew:

No, I'm having trouble w/ the insulin resistant thing. Trying to find a diet that works for that since it's almost impossible to get anything off. Now I know why I could never lose the weight no matter how hard I tried. Problem is I was never taught nutrition and I'm not understanding alot of what I find on the internet. But, will keep trying. Kinda feel what's the point. But can't have that attitude I know.

It's been a big adjustment since hubby went on days. Totally screwed up my life. He's home at night now. That's good, but I'm so used to doing as I want. It's definitely a change and gonna take some giving and respecting other's room.

Get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow. He's working.

January 22, 2005
12:27 am
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OMW

I called the attorney today. Apparently he is still vcovering me on the insurance. Only $20 every two weeks. How cheap is that? The WIS teacher's insurance is awesome. I will miss that. I would be lwilling to pay that fee right now aswell but the court ordered him to pay it. so now I know it is there. They are not being cooperative right now as I am in another state. I went to the doc for my Px, physical for my license, it cost me $188. They won't take the insurance down her, I have to pay first out of pocket. I just got a bill from the collections agent for a lab test I had in April, before I even filed for divorce. This should have been paid. Why is he letting it go to collections? For $491.00 that the insurance woould pay. Think it is because when I tod him about the labs, he got angry; said; "that hurts me to think that you would think that about me." Know what that labwork was about? I got tested for HIV and Herpes. Why? Because of his behavior with soft porn pix taking, I thought I better be sure, rught? I think it was pretty smart of me!!!! Besides, two other girlfriends who got divorced from their spouse with questionable sexual behaviors, did the samthing and got tested. It is the only smart thing to do. Aids kills. So I am negative, and he is angry I did this. Too bad , so sad, life is a vicious-circle.

i am going for now. too tired. Good talking with you. Take care and best wishes on the touring of places for your mom.

Nite, OMW/S,

SEw/C

January 22, 2005
12:36 am
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MamC,

The learning curve on the nutrition is slow, but then it will suddenly all fall in place! My sister just got diagnosed with diabetes and is on diet control and pills. When I say how her legs swelled so huge and her weight last year, I knew something was up! She can't loose any weight, either. But the trick is to keep it stable. That will be progress. Don't sweat the weight loss until you get the diet under control. Take your learning and your sucesses one step at a time. The rest will follow.

Have you cut out sweets? I bet you have. That is a hug step right there. Keep us posted with the diet and all. Saw you posting upstairs here about diets with someone else. so you have a good spport team going on for you!!!!

Talk to you on the 'marrow! Nite,

Sew/C

January 22, 2005
12:51 pm
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Good morning from the west coast, Sew MamaC,
Appreciate all of the information Sew, because honestly I did not know which questions to ask, so this will be VERY helpful.

Sew, if I understand what you said correctly, I don't think that you are financially responsible for those tests. My ex did the same thing...he was on my insurance before the divorce, during the divorce, and did not pay the bills, did not even tell me there were bills, but they showed up on my credit report because I was the insurance provider at that time. So in reversing the tables, I would think that it would be his credit report not yours?

MAMAC...thanks, sometimes I just need to remember. I have not been to church in 2 months, for someone who used to go all of the time, that is a hole in my life. And I scoot out prayers, mostly "HELP!!!" prayers instead of talking as I used too.
RE: a diet. I suggest one that speeds up your metabolism. This works without being mobile, is carbs and protein together. It is called the Thurman Diet. Eat every 2.5 hours. For breakfast: 2 egg whites, 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/2 bananna. Next, 2ozs protein (meat) 1/2 apple; then for lunch: 2 oz protein, 2 vegetables--sometimes I have a baked potatoe and tuna salad & 1/2 tomatoe. Next: reat 2oz of protein, 1/2 apple; then for dinner: the same combination as for lunch. It takes about 2 weeks for your metablosim to kick in, but after that the weight drops off of you like crazy. It is 5 meals a day...and you can have a bedtime snack of fruit, or protein. But there is NO SALT, NO SUGAR, NO FAT on this diet. I cheat a little and add mayo to the tuna, and then buy the spices that have no salt. Also a good recipe on this diet is the chili, which has the protein and the carbs, using ground turkey, black beans (the low salt cans)diced tomatoes (the low salt cans)and then onion, basil,chili powder(no salt kind)and any spices you want to add.

Love and hugs Sew and MamaC.

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