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severe anxiety over ex friend
December 12, 2000
8:11 pm
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chook
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I had a best friend for years who I trusted and cared about, we were like sisters. Unfortunately this person was not really who she made out she was and when I started to learn things about her I discovered she was a bad person with a very bad reputation in the small town we live. I was able to avoid her for a long time but now we have children attending the same school and therefor I run into her a lot, this causes severe anxiety. I am a generally quiet person who finds it hard to socialise at the best of times and knowing that this person is around makes social outings a whole lot worse. I find it effects my children in that I cant enjoy school events because my mind is consumed with this person, I would love to hear from people who suffer with anxiety and how to deal with it.
People tell me that this person shouldn't matter to me anymore but I can't put her behind me.

December 13, 2000
1:01 pm
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Cici
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I completely understand where you're coming from. I had a best friend who was like a sister to me for over 10 years, and we even lived together in college. She betrayed my trust in her after several incidents that occurred because she definately had personal problems and could not be trusted. Even now, I know her neighbor and he has told me stories about her unstable and still crazy life.

It took a lot of time and pain for me to put our relationship behnd me. But I did, and even though she has contacted me a few times via e-mail and phone, I have told her gently that although I have forgiven her for what she did to me I feel that we have grown too far apart to have any meaningful interaction.

It might help you to face your fears and have one final meeting with this woman who gives you so much anxiety. You see, the way a person forms a phobia, or pathological fear of something, is through association. You pair the image of this woman with this anxiety in your head. But we often find that the reality of facing this fear is much less than the thought of facing it.

Also, make sure to lower your caffiene intake, as this IS drug that can cause anxiety. Dietary changes can make a world of difference, especially in anxiety-centered mood disorders.

December 14, 2000
8:15 pm
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Molly
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Right on Cici

December 20, 2000
9:11 pm
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chook
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Cici You'll be pleased to know my caffeine intake was lowered about three months ago infact I am lucky to have a cup of tea at work once a week, but to no avail. I am also taking St Johns Wort every day and have resorted to taking valium when I know that I might be coming across this person, but this doesn't even touch the sides. I even feel uncomfortable around her inlaws even though I know they only put up with her for the childrens sake. As much as I try and rise above it,it's hard I feel self conscious all the time and worry about what this person may be saying about me. I am the one who has made something of myself, I'm the one who spends quality time with my girls,I'm the one with the good reputation so why do I feel like the victim and why do I worry about what other people think of me. I should be proud of what I have and what I've achieved ,not be worrying about someone who doesn't matter. Maybe I care too much.

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