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Serious, serious problem
September 16, 2005
3:40 am
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linspurdu
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September 30, 2010
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Please- when you read this, offer support.... I know this is a serious problem but I can't handle any berating right now. Thank you....

I'm having a problem that I need help nipping in the bud. I realize why I do it, but it scares me nonetheless. When the pain in my heart gets so intense that I want to do anything to take it away, I cut myself. I have been doing this for about 4 months now since my break-up and only do it in the same spot (a spot on my left arm above my wrist). It's almost like the control freak in me is trying to control the utter pain and hopelessness I continuously feel, so I cut myself to take away some of the mental pain. The physical pain is worse and, disgustingly, feels more tolerable.

I have lost my job therefore I am now uninsured. I have no money and no way to get anymore therapy. I have been in intense therapy for 4 months now and while I feel it has helped me to understand my behaviors, it hasn't helped me in correcting them. I know this is an issue that only a professional therapist could tackle with me yet I don't have the means. Hoping I could get some support from you all.

I can't turn to my loved ones. The only one I have told said it was disgusting and only served to push him further away- he said he couldn't deal with it.....

September 16, 2005
3:45 am
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depressionsucks78
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linspurdu~

i used to cut for the same reason.

the physical pain makes the mental pain go away. yes it is sick, but i really do understand where you're coming from.

i don't know how to help you stop, but i can offer support to you, and understanding that only another cutter can give.

i'm so sorry you are having this problem, maybe we can work on this together.

~ds78

September 16, 2005
5:43 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi Lins,

There is always help honey and hope even in the most dire circumstances.

I feel so sorry for your jobloss and the other problems you went thru. Coming to this place is a very wise choice you've done. So, you can now start counting your blessings.

While job and money are important, yet they are NOT the most important things in life.

I would highly recommend you to strive to develop your spirituality. An excellent book I can recommend you to start off your journey is "The purpose driven life" by: Rick Warren.

Your self-esteem should NOT come from how much money you have; rather it should stem from having relationship with God/Higher Power.

Another excellent book is "Codependent nor more" by: Melody Beattie. It will educate and enlighten you about the subject of codep, as to why we do it, how to stop it, what triggers it...etc.

Logon: http://www.coda.org to find out coda meetings closest in your area. Also, they have online meetings, just e-mail them and they should get in touch with you soon. Both these 2 activities are free of charge.

You may not need a therapist. In my healing journey, I only purchased a number of books and sought social worker. Social workers are free too. They may have not received the same level or depth of education as counselors and therapists; but they are still trained people. Find one you feel comfortable with.

coming to this site, which was only last February, is very enriching. The wonderful folks here are very informative, warm and healing.

~Love, Ras~

September 16, 2005
8:11 pm
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linspurdu,

Yes that is a serious, serious problem. I used to do that occasionally, tho I had other urges that eclipsed it and I ran with those more frequently. Nonetheless I bare the scars of those times I becamed overwhelmed with the urge to self harm.

It is a problem that, I'm sure you know, only makes you feel worse about yourself the more you do it. It is also an impulse that passes if you learn coping skills. Much like addiction and suicide... you must learn how to get past the moment. It is a life saver and there is no one way... I find TALKING is the number one coping skill in general, and this site can be a substitute when there is no one around.

http://www.recoveryourlife.com.....fault.aspx

The above is a website I found recently when doing a search. I still have urges. I have fantasies. I hope the website is good, but I have been so tired lately my attention span on line is very limited. I am still exploring it, maybe you can too, and maybe it will help.

love,
ella

September 16, 2005
8:11 pm
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Guests

linspurdu,

Yes that is a serious, serious problem. I used to do that occasionally, tho I had other urges that eclipsed it and I ran with those more frequently. Nonetheless I bare the scars of those times I becamed overwhelmed with the urge to self harm.

It is a problem that, I'm sure you know, only makes you feel worse about yourself the more you do it. It is also an impulse that passes if you learn coping skills. Much like addiction and suicide... you must learn how to get past the moment. It is a life saver and there is no one way... I find TALKING is the number one coping skill in general, and this site can be a substitute when there is no one around.

http://www.recoveryourlife.com.....fault.aspx

The above is a website I found recently when doing a search. I still have urges. I have fantasies. I hope the website is good, but I have been so tired lately my attention span on line is very limited. I am still exploring it, maybe you can too, and maybe it will help.

love,
ella

September 16, 2005
8:15 pm
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sorry about the double posting!! when I said "this website" I mean the one you are on... it has helped me tremendously... even just to vent and even when I come out like I'm wallowing in stuff...better that than hurting myself.

try the other one too, let me know what you think. it may have different resources.

-ella

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