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separation
January 29, 2005
5:18 pm
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hurtman
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Over the last 13 years I've been married to the greatest woman. We have 2 kids and a man could not ask for anything better.

Over 3 weeks ago my life was tossed upside down and she asked me to leave. She needed time to think. Over the last year or two we had been arguing more and more. I felt it was normal and it was just a rough spot in our marriage.

Since moving out i have consulted with a councelor. I have learned the harsh reality that I have been controlling and verbally abusive to her over the years. This has hit me soooo hard, and so bad, that it hurts to no end. "I really didn't realize that I had this problem..." now since learning and accepting that I'm reposnsible for my actions and behaviors I'm working on this everyday.

We trade the kids back and forth, she has been extreemly workable. Each time i see her I hope for spark or a glimmer of hope to ignite what I know we once had. She says that we need time away from each other and that she is confused. I feel that she wants me to let go and give up.

Most of our arguments over the last 2 yrs have been about her obsessivness with 2 bussiness (my side). I complain that she needs to spend more time with me and the family. From my anger management studing, I have learned that my anger has originated with hurt/rejection or the lack of affection.

I'm not sure if anyone can understand where i'm comming from i'm trying my best, and trying not to lose hope in her and in us.

January 29, 2005
5:21 pm
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betrayed30
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Just trying to understand. What did you mean by obsessive over 2 businesses??

Please reply and I hope I can be of some help

January 29, 2005
5:42 pm
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hurtman
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We have 2 small business togather. One is about 8 yrs running and the other was started approx 8 months ago. I also have a fulltime job besides this. We try to work as a team togather on them, but it takes alot of our time.

The business are run from our home. Many times i come home and she is working in her office from 7:00am until 8:00pm. I feel that a good portion of the work could be managed via other employees. She dosen't agree. She rarley takes time to eat, but she can usually keep up with other commitment outside the home.

January 29, 2005
5:48 pm
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destino
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hurtman hope im doing this right, hope im responding to you im new at this so not sure what im doing. Im glad that you realize what you have done wrong most dont understand the verbal abusive is very devastating i know im living it. Its very painful when someone you love treats you with such disrespect thank god you realize this thats the first step. Maybe you should let her know how bad you feel and how you see your wrongs and ask for her forgiveness. Its not easy to let it go i know for her i mean, but maybe its not too late i know for my relationship it really is over. I have decided i wont live this way ever again.

January 29, 2005
5:58 pm
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hurtman
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Thanks for your response. I can honelty tell you I really had no idea how awful she must have felt. She tells me she hurts by our seperation, but from what I don't understand. Is it me, the kids, the situation she's in, ect? I don't know. Trust is a big thing with love.

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